hi hope YES I can feel that things are getting better I would have posted that yesterday, but I didnt want to barge in all "I'm feeling better" when I hadn't even visited in like a week

but Yes...I can feel the difference in the season's shift. That it is lighter out later, and earlier in the morning. We're still buried in snow, and I still sleep too late, but now I know there is hope I only have 2 more months of the yuck winter job...and the Yuck Boss has really only said one stupid inappropriate thing to me this year, as opposed to all the time.

I discovered it a couple days ago, I realized.."hey..I'm not feeling negative about everything, don't have that feeling of 'I don't care about anything'". Also what helped, was DH saying something about 'when riding season comes'. That was the first he had mentioned it, since a couple months ago when he said he would never ride again.

I'm so glad that you are having progress, at least with the finance part. Isn't that a great feeling? to take control of that aspect. I think I told you last year, but we were thousands of $ in debt with credit cards, just from *ahem* "someone" (and not me) just buying and buying. Finally I had to show him the stark truth, and he started only buying with Paypal, which comes out of one's checking account. That make a huge difference. In one year I paid off $7000 And I don't want to wonder 'what did we get for that' material wise. Anyway, congrats to you for that!! You'll get to the weight loss

hey everyone Just saying Hi

So I totally over ate and ate bad this weekend while away with my dh....blah so its back to the gym!!! Hope everyones doing well!!!

This is day 3 of a 3 day stretch off. I needed it so badly. I was supposed to work yesterday but gave the hours away. I'm so glad I did. I got some housework done. I rarely do any anymore b/c I'm so busy. My stress level had hit the roof because of my schedule, my weight, and my lack of working out. I need some kind of stress release since I rarely have any alone time. Momof4, that's one reason I don't see how you do it. I'm sure you don't have a second's piece of time for yourself. I feel like I'm ready to start working out again, mostly out of desperation. I miss not feeling like crap. Unhappiness is about to swallow me. Most of last year I worked out and had no problem with depression. Gosh, what a difference. Plus again let me mention: my freakin clothes don't fit. Not a good self esteem booster!

awww hope-I hope something snaps mentally and you can get to working out...I dont get time...I used to think well I can do this at home but honestly I CANT even when i tried working out kids were in the way or needed something blah blah blah...it was frustrating...so this is nice!!!
I officially joined the gym and meet with the trainer to get some info about machines and nutrition!! I am looking to get a bodybugg trying to find a good deal on it... bought a gym bag and new shoes...theres NO turning back now!!! I have put my money where my mouth is so its time to push forward!!!

poor hope-y!!! I'm so sorry. I'm glad you got to take a day off to get some things done. Not feeling good in clothes when you leave for works sux doens't it. I hope you can find the 'click' and energy to work out again, to help your stress. Hugs to you!!!

mom - YAY for you!!!! 'money where your mouth is" lol but that is a commitment isn't it. So kewl you will get to meet with a trainer and get pro guidance on exercise and nutrition.

Hi to everyone else!!

my eating is still stink-o, I am doing the classic yo-yo stuff, I have tremendous self control part of the day and NONE for the rest. Its so busy at work, I can't sit at all so my knee is hurting again. I didn't work out yesterday because of that; I will try to do something this morning before I leave for work.

Hey everyone... sorry I haven't been on lately. It hasn't been well over here... it's hard to get out of bed let alone work out. My eating has been back and forth, we're eating to much junk.

Hubby won a decent amount in a pool tournament, then I woke up 2 days in a row to my old dog laying in her own urine and feces unable to get up and howling her head off. It was hands down the most horrible sound I have ever heard, kind of a pleading howl, I can't really describe it but it broke my heart. She wouldn't carry her tail up anymore, she was part husky and had always carried her tail up over her back, or at least out in a gentle arch. But the last few days it was just straight down, she wouldn't even wag it for a treat. It was just to hard on her. You know where I'm going with this right? I have to end it here because I'm at work and I don't want to bawl.

AWWWWWW aunty that is horrible and heart breaking...Im sorry!!!!

vermont-yes it is a commitment...but I am ready...I am tired of the weight


I got almost done with my training session today and they call a CODE 6 in the child area....my trainer TAKES off running and I look out the window over the courts and I see EVERY staff member in the building sprinting for the child area...I am like ummmm my kids are down there....so I went to the desk and said what is a code 6 in the child area and shes like whats your name I am like jessica and she like ummm YEAH YOU NEED TO GET DOWN THERE! So I took off in a run for the downstairs....all Im thinking is one of the little ones is choking...I get down there to find out my 3 year old foster daughter cut most of the end of her finger off in the door. It was hanging by a thread. So I spent most of the day in the er they sowed it back on but are not sure if it is going to heal together cause the skin was turning white and not very pink anymore...they had to sow the whole time on.....Im not mad at anybody accidents happen but I want to know how they are going to be sure it does not happen again...know what I mean? Put pads on the door edges, take the metal plate off the door, lock the doors and ONLY adults can open and close them?? What are they doing to do to make sure it doesnt happen to someone else? I have 6 kids who I take in there and want to be sure they are safe...honestly I am worried about them going back....this is only my second week there...ok well I have a paper to go write....ttyl have a good hump day!

I am SO SORRY to hear this!!! heartbreaking. Im so sorry you have this to deal with on top of all else...our love to you and your beloved doggy.

OMG how horrible for her, how scary for YOU!!!! poor thing!!

Aunty Jam I am so sorry, that is heartbreaking. My sister has a 15 yr old wolf/husky cross and she is having problems as well and falling down and it is so hard to know what to do. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Mom, what a horrifying experience. Wow!! I sure hope it heals properly.

Hope I hope you are having a better day and its good you got a bit of a break.

Vermont good to hear you are making it through ok. It is nice that the days are getting longer. Its 5:40pm and still light outside and we had nice sun today. It was cold and windy but looked pretty And that is amazing what you have been able to do with your debt. Good for you!!

I'm with the rest of you with inconsistent eating habits and not working out. I can't say that I'm depressed, just not overly motivated and busy. DdC started a new job and of course its all the way on the other side of town so its been a lot of running around since neither she or DdB have their driver's license. DdA acts as a taxi when she can so its not as bad as it could be. DdC saw the neurologist today and should be able to resume driving lessons end of May. Her MRI was clear so that is good but she has to take medication.
I can't wait for spring to arrive. Gosh we have so much snow and today its only -16*c (3*F) but the windchill is -28*c (-18*F) its just nasty.

I better go and see what I can do for dinner. There is some cooked chicken and broth in the fridge may make a quick soup, we need some comfort food here!!
Take care everyone and I hope things are getting better.
K

Well What a day....

My friend of years has been contacting me lately and wrote me a note to apologize n tell me i didnt do anything it was her just frustrated...but she came over today and we had a good time. She texted me later and thanked me for not taking any jabs at her for how she treated me. I said um you apologized and I hold very few grudges if any so the past is the past you fixed it we move on! BUT i still dont feel i can trust her with stuff I tell her so I have to be careful of what i say.
Then I checked my foster daughters finger to rewrap it and the end is black so that is not good at all. She sees the surgeon tomorrow so hopefully we can figure out what needs to be done!

Then it is my dh and mines 9 yr anniversary. We of course went away for the weekend so I didnt expect much...but I didnt expect him to be grumpy and whatever. I tried to just be nice and joke with him and ease it and yeah it didnt work. I was like hhmmm i dont remember this being like this 9 years ago and he snapped and was like im just frustrated and dont want to talk about it. I lost it went to the kitchen and couldnt stop the tears...I have had it!!! Hes constantly moody and frustrated and i know in my head that he loves me but I dont feel loved by his actions...so he tried to get me to the living room and I was like i dont want to..so he came out and was like I told you it wasnt you....i was like but I AM THE ONE THAT GETS THE BLUNT OF IT...Im the one who gets the poor treatment...like he felt bad and made me sit on the couch with him but as woman we need reassurance from our husbands and when its just negative thats degrading. Just like if we would reject them in bed they would feel degraded...AHHHHHH SOMETHING has to budge. We had a wonderful time over the weekend but back into the world and hes back to the moody person....

OK ON A GOOD NOTE
Didnt wanna go to the gym but some friends on facebook encouraged me to just go so Im like ok Imma gonna suck it up and go...BEST WORKOUT EVER
I ran the mile in 14:45...1. I am 100lbs over weight 2. I was NEVER a mile runner just the 400 3. my normal is 18-20mins.... I was excited cause I actually soaked part of the top of my shirt in the front...that means I was working out...I would have probably kept going but had to leave to get the kids...I had great motivating music in and LOVED IT!!!

Ok thanks for listening/reading ladies!!!

Thanks Vermont and everyone. The last little while has pretty much sucked the big one for me. I have been so depressed. Work outs and good eating habbits have gone out the window. Sometimes I don't even want to try anymore. Chase is adjusting better then I thought to being an only dog, he's claimed both dog pillows in the living room now but he looked for her the first few days and last night he laid down in front of the back door which he has never done before.. it was always her spot.

I made a huge freudian slip the other day, I was flipping through channels and stopped on one that was showing a rodeo in my town. They featured a bull rider who stayed on for 8.4 seconds and won $5000. I meant to say to the hubby, "Wow! Maybe you should have been a cowboy!", that's what was in my brain to say. But instead I said "Wow! Maybe I should have married a cowboy!". Yeah. Not a happy place.

Mom - I hope all goes well with her finger. Black sounds scary.

Buddly - It was -36c (-33f) here this morning after our wind chill. And sunny... go figure, it *LOOKS* nice out.

Hey, I'm new to this. Anyone: How do you add the weight tracker from below? I made one and then didn't know where to put the link. Also, how do I post a new thread? I can't seem to figure it out.

lynn I dont think you can do a ticker until you have become a senior member with more post? Im not sure how many posts! welcome to the thread.

aunty-its hard to hold things in for so long so of course things are gonna slip out!! lol

been a long stressful day. The finger tip is not going to make it but dr said cause shes so little it will grow over pretty normal.

I feel like a failure mom...my upstairs is trashed and I cant keep up with the house, homeschooling, dropping kids off and pickin them up, youth pastor stuff, gym, kids group music leader, vbs director,music lessons.....I know that it ALL can be done but I HAVE to be a great time manager and right now..well I flat out suck at it!!
I just printed out a weekly list from motivated moms and it breaks your big cleaning down to certain days a month and your daily stuff if I can get it done then I will be better...but I am going to have to sit down and plan out hourly and then stick with it...idk....just frustrated..and I couldnt get to the gym today cause all the dr appts and ate HORRIBLY...kinda disliking myself!!