I was never big as a child. I rode and showed horses from the age of 6 and was always very active with that. I also was on the basketball, volleyball and track teams in school. My father died when I was 11 and I remember sneaking snack foods, like ding dongs, from the kitchen and eating them in my room when I was sad. This was the beginning for me, but thankfully I was still active and that helped. I got married and had my first daughter when I was 19. My mom, who was a health fanatic, was still supporting my horse riding, but I slacked off a bit and wasn't nearly as serious as I had been. Then my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I remember sitting in the hospice room while she was sleeping and all I did was eat and cry. 9 years later I find myself 344 lbs still eating and crying. I know I use food to deal with stress and sadness. I no longer have anything to do with horses, which was a true love of mine. I joke around and say things like, "I would never do that to a horse, I'd break it." I would love to lose weight and start riding again...it was something I know I was really good at.

Thank you so much, MyBodyIsMyTemple. It means a lot.

I've never been "bone thin" because I was an athletic girl growing up. I was never overweight or close to it. But it started for me when I was 15..my parents divorced after 25 years (and it was a nasty divorce) and then my mom and I moved 5 states away. So here I was in this new place with no friends and it was VERY different from where I grew up. So I turned to food. It was a Friday night date, my counselor, everything...

And that began the bad habit of using food to deal with my emotions instead of actually dealing with my emotions.

I picked "bad habits," because my life has been full of them!

When I was very young, I wasn't a fat little kid, I ran around a lot, and food wasn't important. Around third grade, food became more of an activity for me, and I developed my love for sweets, and that's when the weight started pouring on. Unlike some others who have posted, my family never made me finish my plate. There was a rule that we had to finish our plates to get dessert, but I was exempt from that rule because I was the "baby." There were plenty of times when I'd leave the veggies on my plate so I'd have room for dessert. So it was around the age of 8 that I started the bad habit of eating junk food instead of healthy food. It was at this time that I also began munching on snacks while watching tv. I don't remember why. Maybe I was immitating my siblings, maybe I saw it on tv, maybe my friends did it. I don't know.

So I plumped up pretty quickly, and I also grew fast at this time. By fourth grade, I was a lot taller than many sixth graders, and I towered over my classmates. Sometimes I look back at pictures of this time period and call myself "the Beast" because I was so much taller and fatter than everyone else my age. No wonder I lost all my "friends" when I went to Middle School. The only one who really was my friend when I got to 5th grade was a fellow fat girl. And we would go over each other's houses have giant junk food feasts while watching movies and we even brought bags of chips with us into the pool. I think I may have learned some additional bad eating habits from her, actually.

Flash forward to high school. I stopped eating as much junk food, I skipped lunch a lot, I did a swim clinic every day after school sophomore year for three months, then started taking karate classes. I went from a size 22 to a 14. I was the skinniest I'd been since I was a little kid, and it was the only time I developed good eating and exercise habits.

Then I graduated, went to college, and got a job at Long John Silvers. I stopped taking karate due to work and classes getting in the way, and I started eating fast food more often. Then I got promoted at my job to Team Leader, which meant free meals, and it all went downhill from there. I stopped exercising, ate fast food 5 times a week, and drank at leat 100 ounces of Dr. Pepper every day at work. I ended up eating out on the days I didn't work, too. And that's how I went from a 14 to a 24 - I developed really bad eating habits.

So yeah... now I'm trying to change my eating habits and get back my exercise routine.