Don't sell yourself short. If that is something you think you can live happily ever after with, then by all means...DO! But if you are the type of person (like so many of us women are, myself included) who *needs* that love and affection, don't just settle because you don't want to start over. I can't imagine not hearing "I love you" back. Some people can deal with it, others can't. Look inside yourself and figure out what you need in your relationship. Find what you desire, what makes it passionate, what makes it sparkle and sizzle. If you can have that right now, then enjoy every second of it and soak it up. If you can't, there IS that out there. And you shouldn't go without it due to your comfort with this guy. You deserve a love that is full of all the things you need.

I can relate in many ways - sometimes I really question why I am with my boyfriend - we have been together 3 years this saturday.

He does not tell me he loves me, I had said it to him and usually he doesnt say anything back or says something along the lines of 'i know'

But he does show affection, like holding my hand when we are out, giving me a hug/kiss etc, calling me on his breaks at work, and all that. So I believe while he doesn't say he loves me, he shows me in every other way.

It really bothers me though, not hearing the 'i love you' sometimes i am fine with it and some days it drives me crazy! But like you, we get along awesome, never fight, etc.

anyway, just wanted to add my 2 cents and let you know your not really alone - I know for a long time I thought i was the only one in a situation like this.

I don't really have any advice though, I wish I did!

As a divorce lawyer who waited until she was 43 years old to get married, I've seen a lot of breakups. And been through them. Breakups are hard, but divorces are much harder. Especially when kids are involved! I know what it's like; you think it will get better, that he will change, etc., etc. But if you feel like something is "missing" after 3 years, then something is missing. I guarantee that in time you will wonder what you ever saw in him! I know that you feel like you're running out of time, but I was engaged at the age of 26 - and then again at the age of 30 - and then again at the age of 36 - and finally got married to yet a different guy at the age of 43. You can have babies in your 40's. Try not to feel so pressured into doing what you think society expects! I am SOOOO glad I waited - I am now married to a great guy who is really trustworthy and tells me he loves me every night before we go to sleep - and every morning before he goes to work. Not that he needs to; I feel it every waking moment. You will find what you are looking for!

What he really means to say is, "If I had a sexy blonde American girlfriend like you, you'd need a restraining order because I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you!" And he'd be praising God (or whatever diety he bows to) every waking moment for your mere existence.


I hope that you find some peace with this situation. As pretty as you are, you could have 95% of the heterosexual male population drooling at your doorstep. With or without the weight you want to lose. You're nothing short of a bombshell and you deserve SO much more than what you're getting. Good luck!