[AnnRue]

I started a diet plan and decided to tell my co worker just see if she wanted to do it. Shocking that she said no. Two days after I started she decided to throw a cupcake party that my attendance was required for. She told me at 11 AM on the day it was at 3 PM. So I guess I could not call out. I sat there and refused to eat anything at all. Fortunately my anger gave me the motivation even when my boss said "you can't come to my birthday party and not eat"

I just hope there is a little payback in the next life for this kind of thing.

[DLS1]

I started my diet 5 days ago, and my husband has started acting really weird today. He was initially very supportive, but he's become quite didactic (acting like a know it all). When I challenge him, he accuses me of "trying to start a fight". It's all very confusing. Is he just having a bad day, or is my desire to change somehow threatening to him? Any advice on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated.

N.B. I'm agoraphobic, and he's used to taking care of me. Could be a potential problem.

[mzshaunna]

Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that aren't supportive "you don't need to lose weight you look fine!" or "just have one it won't hurt you can just restart your diet tomorrow". It's really frustrating but at the end of the day it's people like that which help us to strengthen our motivation and self control

[schenectady]

Originally Posted by DLS1

I started my diet 5 days ago, and my husband has started acting really weird today. He was initially very supportive, but he's become quite didactic (acting like a know it all). When I challenge him, he accuses me of "trying to start a fight". It's all very confusing. Is he just having a bad day, or is my desire to change somehow threatening to him? Any advice on dealing with this would be greatly appreciated.

N.B. I'm agoraphobic, and he's used to taking care of me. Could be a potential problem.

I think it can be very threatening to our partners. They know how to deal with the "old" us, but not the potential "new" one.

What if people start complimenting you? What if you get wolf whistles? Or, what if other guys all of a sudden start noticing you and showing you attention?

I think the thought of a partner losing a lot of weight and changing significantly may make them worry about keeping the relationship the same?

[PorkyPiggin]

In all fairness, significant others may have realistic concerns about a spouse changing. Change is unsettling, whether positive or negative. We simply can't allow their fears or insecurities deter us from our goals.

I'm dating a guy whose wife left him after she lost 100lbs. He's always been thin and healthy. He wasn't sure whether she wanted to leave him before the weight loss, but only found the courage after. If she "settled" for him while overweight, if she ever loved him... He was supportive of her journey, but the end result was that he essentially got left behind. That's often a fear when a friend/spouse/loved one changes.

If someone you care for and can be honest with isn't being supportive, discuss it with them. Find out why & see if you can both resolve the issue.

[DLS1]

Thanks for all your support everybody. My husband has his good days (most of them), but when he has his bad days, I've just got to take it on the chin. He's a very sensitive guy, and is also uber-english. A lot of Americans with a British partner carry that burden. Men, in general, just don't seem to be able to identify their feelings, let alone want to talk about them. We've been married for over 20 years now, and I was at a "normal" weight for most of them, so I think he's more threatened by my desire to take charge of something even though it's only my weight. He'll get used to it because he has to, simple as that.