Hi Carol -- I remember you from the "How many kids do you have" thread -- I have 10 kids too

It seems to me that what you all are describing is exactly how I hope to eat once I get to my goal weight and am maintaining -- but I am not sure if I can stop myself from at least mentally counting the calories in everything while I am still trying to lose....

Karen, I still know all the calories in most things but it affects me less now. I was asking a lady at the store in town what the nutrition info for a certain bread was and when she asked about calories I said that I wasn't really interested in that but the fiber content and the calcium. I can't have calcium. I could hardly believed that I said that I wasn't interested in the calorie count.

carol -- thank you for the welcome! I hope to be around for a long time!

Karen -- a part of me feels the same way, like I want to do intuitive eating when I'm in maintenance instead of now. But I lost 110 pounds and I didn't maintain it (of course, part of that was pregnancy, but still), and I really just want to stop the madness now and get in touch with what my body really needs. So I'm going to do this now instead of waiting. I just believe it will work out this time.

carly -- thank you so much for your post. I was wavering this morning, thinking maybe I should go back to calorie counting, but when you wrote about how you have to have patience and have faith that you will become a normal eater, it reminded me that I need to just stick it out and work through the difficult beginning. Also, I'm a runner too, and when I was running to lose weight I got obsessive about it. I set mile goals for myself each week and kept them in a website that tracks miles, and I would freak out if I didn't run enough miles. I loved running, but it became something a bit crazy for me. I want to run now just because I love doing it (though it's much harder now that I'm so out of shape, so I don't love it quite as much these days). Now I just have to figure out when I can run (my two-year-old kind of makes it difficult).

I gave in and weighed myself this morning, though I had planned to wait until September. Surprisingly, I had lost a pound or two since the last time I weighed. It's funny how much stock I put in that number. I've been feeling horribly fat and disgusting the last few days because I felt like I ate too much, but as soon as I saw that the number wasn't up, I felt completely different. It's crazy that the number means that much. It just shows how reality becomes so skewed after years of dieting. I refuse to do it anymore. I just refuse.

I'm going to try my hardest to listen to my body, to eat when I'm hungry, to give my body the nutrition and exercise it needs (and by exercise I don't mean doing things I hate -- I mean running for as long or short, as slow or fast as I want, because that's what I love), and I hope I'll finally be able to heal and enjoy my life.

Lisa, 110 lb is really something. But I know what you mean about obsession. I obsessed for about 30 yr. So tired of that. Our bodies aren't really designed to loose weight but to survive famines for which we should be thankful.

I'll be gone for a few days visiting my DD up north. Hope all are doing well.

A note from Michelle May.

Coping with Cravings Mindfully

I had a limited view of the lake through the window from where I was sitting. The water was calm and peaceful when from the edge of the pane, a duck drifted into my awareness. I watched it bob in the middle then float away. The ripples slowly receded back into the lake and it was still again. Minutes later several ducks paddled in from the other side of the window. They splashed about, apparently struggling for something below the surface. The strongest duck swam directly toward the window, circled several times then paddled back the way it came, followed by the rest.

How like our cravings when we're not even hungry! They seem to appear from nowhere and capture our attention, some more than others. The difference is that I’ve never had a seemingly uncontrollable urge to jump up and devour a duck!

Instead, I watch a duck with a detached awareness. I feel curious, even entertained, but uncompelled to take any action. I allow the duck to just drift away, unconcerned about where it came from, where it goes, or when another will emerge.

The next time you have a craving, try this:

Stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. Observe the craving as if it was a duck, bobbing around in your awareness. Become curious but remain calmly detached. If the craving becomes stronger, imagine that is simply paddling toward you. If you feel compelled to stop and eat the object of your craving, smile as you picture yourself chasing down the innocent duck. Practice slowing and deepening your breath as you patiently wait for the craving to turn and float away. Imagine the lake returning to peaceful stillness.

Eat Mindfully, Live Vibrantly!
Michelle May, M.D.

Hello Everyone, I am so grateful to have found this thread. Hope it is ok to just jump right in with all of you!
I am 40 yrs old and have dieted my way to 318lbs. I am basically very unhappy and desperate to change my life. My husband and I would like to have a family but was sick during my 30's so was never able to concieve. Now that I have gotten a proper diagnosis I am ready to get the weight off. Tried everything and just can't make myself count calories or points ever again. I have tried Paul McKenna's system but so far no weight loss to report.
I have decided to just have some faith and patience and really work at making this a habit. It just feels so hard. Like I am totally incapable to tuning into my body and what it needs. It is great to be able to read all of your posts and see that I am not alone.
So Hello and thanks for letting me join in. Hope that you are all doing well!!

Welcome Dolly. You might try taking half as much as you think you need, eat that slowly and see how you feel. We really can get by with a lot less. If you want a dessert, just take a half and see how you feel about that. Think of the less dense foods that you love and eat lots of those. For me that is tomatoes and tomato juice. I put generic benefiber in tomato juice because I have trouble with regularity.

Carol-thank you for the warm welcome. Being awake, so to speak, when I am eating seems to be half the battle. I find that I just automatically zone out. I am definitely working on it.
Anyway, nice to know this thread exsits!

Hi again, Dolly. How are you doing?

Sheryl Canter from Normal Eating sent this in her newsletter.

Decision to Stop Dieting: Jumping Off That Cliff

For an emotional eater, giving up dieting can be terrifying. Suddenly there are no rules. You’re responsible for your own food choices, and you’re not sure you can be trusted. You may have struggled for years with lack of control around food. You may fear that Normal Eating can’t work for you, that you don’t have the ability to choose well. You may feel that the only possible way to control what you eat is through the external strictures of a diet.

The culture at large reinforces this fear. If you tell someone you’ve decided not to diet anymore, you're likely to be told what a dangerous mistake you’re making, how natural appetites have no natural limits, and the only way to lose excess weight is through a diet. You've probably been told every day of your life that you're not competent to choose your own food.

But it’s not true! Natural limits are part of our natural instincts. You just lose touch with your natural, internal controls when you become used to looking outside yourself for guidance. As you reconnect with yourself and learn to meet your needs in authentic ways, compulsion melts away and you are able to eat normally.
Normal Eating: Control From Within

Eating normally means eating as much as you want whenever you want, but it doesn’t mean eating without any limits or control. When you're on a diet, control comes from external rules that are unrelated to hunger, satiation, or how different foods make your body feel. When you're eating normally, controls come from within, from what your body is telling you it needs.

We are born knowing how to eat normally. An infant knows when she’s hungry, and knows when she’s had enough. If you try to put food into the mouth of an infant who is no longer hungry, she purses her lips and moves her head from side to side to avoid the spoon.

This body wisdom about what and how much you need to eat is still inside you – you just need to reconnect with it. You don’t need a diet to tell you what to eat. Animals in the wild manage to get exactly the nutrition they need. Have you ever seen a fat deer in the woods? We are born with this same body wisdom.

People with a history of compulsive eating are often so disconnected from their natural internal controls that they don’t even know when they’re hungry. A primary goal of Normal Eating is to put you back in touch with your own inner wisdom, and show you that you can trust it. (The other main goal of Normal Eating is to redirect the emotional needs behind cravings - check out the archives for more on that.)
Learning to Trust Yourself

Learning to trust yourself is key in Normal Eating, and I’m not just talking about eating choices. We are integrated beings. Either we trust ourselves, or we don’t. If you distrust yourself in one area, you will tend to distrust yourself in all areas – food, relationships, money, or whatever.

Happily, the spillover effect goes both ways. As you develop self-trust around food, you will trust yourself more in other areas. With self-trust comes self-respect, since you can’t trust yourself if you don’t respect yourself. And self-respect is the foundation of self-love. Just as you can’t love a partner you don’t respect, you can’t love yourself without respecting yourself. When you love yourself, you’ll take care of yourself. And when your needs are met, you won’t need to self-soothe with food. It all starts with trusting yourself!

Some newcomers to Normal Eating have likened the decision to stop dieting to jumping off a cliff with no parachute. But as they work through the Normal Eating stages they discover, to their surprise, that they can fly.

Hi, ladies...I haven't posted here for a couple of weeks, but wanted to come in and say that I've found out one of the major reasons I've just been piling on the weight, and haven't been able to lose.

It turns out that the medication I've been taking for hypothyroid hasn't been working, and most likely hasn't worked for a few years! I've been trying to go through life half-dead, with body systems barely functioning.

I've just started a new medication, and hope that I'll start feeling better and get some energy soon.

If I hadn't done my own research and gone in and insisted on having certain blood tests, I'd still be on the old medication, still feeling rotten. I've known for several years that something wasn't right, but doctors would dismiss me by saying that my blood tests were all "in range".

I think I'm going to stick with IE because dieting of any kind has only gotten me bigger.

I won't be doing much of any walking until it gets cooler. The kids in our town are back in school this week, and wouldn't you know it, we're in the middle of another heat wave. Ugh. I feel bad for them. It's just TOO hot. I'm waiting for fall!

Welcome to the new ladies that have joined us. Hope you all enjoy your day!

Hi Becky. I wonder about certain meds, too. I have been on a small dose of beta blocker for about 5 yr. and lately I have been trying to get off of it. I feel so much better. I keep a close watch on my bp. I know I need to do that. Hope you get straightened out with yours meds, too.

So I haven't been doing that great so far with intuitive eating. I know this will be a long journey and I have to give myself a break. After all, I've dieted for nearly 30 years. For some reason I keep making ridiculous decisions, like today I made homemade chocolate chip cookies for no apparent reason and ate ten of them! Ugh, tell me I can do this, because I'm starting to believe I just can't and that I should go back to forcing myself into the drudgery of calorie counting again.

Lisa, perhaps you should eat a regular meal before you make the cookies or time it so that you won't be too hungry when you make them. When I am full, even chocolate chip cookies don't look good. Maybe it takes time to feel that way. Because you have been denying yourself cookies, they look particularly good. But after awhile, even you favorite food looses it's appeal. I used to love Cadbury chocolate bars with almonds but now I have know desire for them.