Posting a tiny victory...I track my wt in excel and do a linear trend line with it. It has now been in the "down" position for 3 days in a row, that's the longest since I started tracking on April 4th. I'm still hovering in the same range, but it's nice to see that math thinks I'm on my way down.... (at least that one formula does).

Hope your day goes ok, Saef.

Went to see my therapist last night for an 8:30 PM appointment, dropped right into bed once I got home. Didn't help. Not happy this morning and once again in CT. I have to stop caring so much. Or bite my lip and just hunt for another job. It's hard. I've been with this company climbing a career ladder since 1998.

Weigh in: 140.1, such a large swing upward since last Friday. It's discouraging. Too much fruit yesterday, too many snacks.

Today's Meals:

Breakfast: Cranberry applesauce muffin; turkey bacon, broccoli & spinach egg bake; strawberries with 2% yogurt
Snack: Forelle pear, very nice
Lunch: Another expensed lunch, overlooking docked sailboats: Salad with beets, goat cheese & a hunk of grilled salmon
Dinner: Chicken leg quarter with cabbage and carrots
Dessert: Cookies n' Cream Quest bar (because I just got a 12-pack in the mail today)

Exercise:

At the gym: 20 minutes stationary bike, hill intervals, resistance at 10, not hard to pedal until the end; then repeating Workout A of Strong Curves Beginners Program, Phase 2. Hard to see the strength gains from week to week, but if I page back in my tiny spiral-bound notebook, in which I record the workouts, I know I have been gradually upping the weights.

Ugh, Saef, I feel your stress. Sounds like you have fears that the conditions won't improve after the dust settles. In that case, yes, shopping around might make sense. Best wishes.

I'm in that state of mind that occurs after prolonged stress, where I keep dreaming of escape, which in this case is reversion back to my teenage summers in Upstate NY, smelling fresh green trees and horses and suntan oil -- but this is irretrievable, I know. And I can't get away yet. I'll have new people to train, even if they won't report to me. My precarious new position will be what I make of it. I have to prove myself to my authoritarian and suspicious new manager. I feel so very tired at that thought: Having to overachieve even more, just to stay where I am.

Weigh in: 138.2, which is closer to what I *thought* I weighed.

Today's Meals:

Breakfast: Steel-cut oatmeal with dried peaches; turkey bacon, broccoli & spinach egg bake; strawberries with 2% yogurt
Snack: MacIntosh apple
Lunch: Arugula salad with roasted eggplant, marinated mushrooms, wild rice and grilled chicken breast strips
Dinner: Chicken leg quarter with cabbage and carrots
Dessert: Cookies n' Cream Quest bar

Exercise:

At the gym: 20 minutes Cybex arc trainer, hill intervals, resistance upped to nine, sweating hard in this weird cool wet weather, more springlike after a premature taste of summer. Then, just at random, three negative chinups (leap up, hold in place, descending as slowly as possible).

In the evening, back for a Pilates mat class. Some kneeling which, on my stainless-steel-enforced knee, is partly painful and partly numb.

Saef: I happen to be a vacation planning addict. Sounds tongue-in-cheek, but actually I spend part of every morning doing more and more research and reading. I've been on a Disney parks planning kick for over a year now. Why? Because it symbolizes escape for me, in the darkness of my early adolescence, a trip to Disneyland made life worth living again. So now, even though no one else in my family is nearly as gung-ho as I am, I'm planning my 3rd Disney parks trip in 2 years. So, yeah, I can relate to your fantasy binge in the midst of extreme stress. Best wishes for a smooth day today.

My fluffy fight seems to be paying off. Wt down again today.

Georgette, what do you do when you're at Disney, and when are you going? (I've never been there, though I was right next to it last July during our annual offsite meeting.)

Woke at 3 AM, laid in bed for an hour, then got up. I'm tired, my face feels numb and my eyes feel heavy, but I'm too wired to sleep, and I'm unsettled. I could walk on the treadmill at the gym, but I've got physical therapy later today, so it's not like I need to get out there. I could be cooking. I could also be working -- and in fact, I am kind of doing that at 5:30 AM as I write this, corresponding with a new manager colleague in the U.K.

Weigh-in: 139.2, up a pound, and up more than a pound from the previous Friday -- but I'm not too worried, as my injured leg was swollen up yesterday.

Today's Meals:

Breakfast: Steel-cut oatmeal with dried peaches; turkey bacon, broccoli & spinach egg bake; strawberries with 2% yogurt
Snack: Bare Fruit Apple Chips, the Granny Smith variety, the small, one-apple bag
Lunch: Arugula salad with roasted vegetables, goat cheese, pecans, pistachios, guacamole and Craisins
Dinner: Kielbasa, kale and sweet potato soup
Dessert: Cookies n' cream Quest bar

Exercise:

At physical therapy: 12 minutes Cybex elliptical, hill program; then 4x20 squats, alternating between 20-lb dumbbell goblet squat and two 10-lb dumbbells held upright, and also alternating with 12x reverse crunches; 4x12 quad raise and hamstring curl; 4x12 abductor/adductor. Walk on treadmill for about 10 minutes afterward.

Georgette-- I'm also a vacation planning addict. I don't plan every day, but quite often! By the way, I keep meaning to mention to you-- one of my very oldest and dearest friends lives in Silverton-- isn't that pretty close to you? She also homeschooled for a number of years there...

My user name comes from two things-- my love of traveling and several moves that required me to change my name-- the first time I was on a forum, I lived in Houston, so I was Michele in Houston. Then, we moved to South Africa, so I changed to Michele on Safari. When we moved here (California), I decided to eliminate the geographical markers in case we move again!

I took a cruise with dh in April, older dd and I are taking an Alaskan cruise in 5 weeks (can I lose 5 pounds in 5 weeks to give me a buffer?!?!), and I'm thinking of other shorter and longer possible trips down the road.... trying to talk dh into an overnight in Monterrey this summer.... and possibly a big trip to either London (most likely) or the Phillipines (less likely) this summer but if we don't start planning it soon, it likely won't happen. Older dd's lease is up in July and she is dead set against staying in an apartment-- she wants to buy a house-- we would really prefer she stay in an apartment longer but she is an adult. If she buys a place, we will likely help with down payment and moving her, etc. so that would likely derail any big trip this summer.

Dh came home last night. I have to laugh at his babysitting (dog sitting) abilities as they remind me much of when we had young children. He just watches them differently than I do! I had Ellie this morning from 4:45- 6:00-- she ate, went potty, etc..... Dh comes down at 6 and I go up to get ready for work. I told him she would need to potty again as she had been playing and drinking water. Within 5 minutes, she had peed on the dog bed, and he lost her. She had mosied around the baby gate and come upstairs to see me!

My weight is right at my redline today. Not sure what we will do for dinner tonight, but knowing I weigh in on Saturdays should hopefully keep me focused today.

Saef, about Disney Parks, I hardly know where to start! I just like being there!

I'm a budget traveler. We are voluntarily low-income as I prefer to work part time and DH does not work. DH has no interest in Disney Parks, so I've been going without him. On my last trip we went to Walt Disney World in FL, and stayed at a fleabag and took the city bus to Disney World property. DS (6) and I went to theme parks 5 days and spent 3 days visiting resorts. I loved the whole thing! My favorite thing to do is just stroll around after dark enjoying the ambiance.

I am a definite escapist and wanderlust sufferer. I love the tropics and all types of themed environments. I don't gamble but loved Las Vegas. I like zoos and greenhouses. I love Tiki Bars. These are the things that get me through the stressful days of trying to do a full-time job in 24 hrs a week so I can homeschool, and get me through living with a brilliant but enfuriating husband with undiagnosed asperger's disorder. (Non-medical opinion)

Michelle, Silverton is about 1.5 hrs from Eugene. It's a great town, have you been there? They have done a lot of work to attract tourists with their "small town charm", and have pulled it off nicely. I haven't done a trip there, but we pass through sometimes when we take the backroads to Portland.

Where are you at in California?

Yes, I've been to Silverton a few times. She lives in the middle of nowhere. I can't imagine how desolate she is. I know "the town" isn't far away but her neighbors are.

I live in N. California (East Bay-- 45 minutes from San Francisco)

Michelle, have you been to the Tonga Room in SF? It's on my Tiki bucket list.

When we were in SF last, we really enjoyed the floral conservatory in GG Park. SF is another Chinese food paradise as well. Could easily spend a month there!

Hi ladies. I haven't been on the forum since 5/4 and decided to check in tonight because I've been eating boatloads lately and need a reality check. I am completely relating to the escapist mindset. I work in the schools, summer is coming, and it just can't come soon enough. What really caught my eye is that Michele and I could be neighbors!

I think we discussed this at one time. The end of the school year is quite stressful! When are you out?

No, I've not yet been to the tonga room.

All weekend, I'm going to be considering the problem of our newly hired writer, who'll be starting on June 1st. His emails to his HR contact through the hiring process turn demanding and borderline rude, especially when inquiring about money, like expensing his home Internet and his travel to CT for a week of training. But with me, he's ingratiating and smooth. My gut tells me this means he's trouble. Do I terminate the hire? Especially at this politically delicate moment of transition, and when he's going to report to someone else? That's the first thing I thought of when I woke at 5 AM on this damp Saturday.

Weigh-in: 139.4, fractionally higher than yesterday. My charmed, stress-caused weight-loss period seems to be over, even though the stress hasn't relented.

Today's Meals:

Breakfast: Steel-cut oatmeal with dried peaches; turkey bacon, broccoli & spinach egg bake; blueberries with cinnamon & 2% yogurt
Lunch: Arugula salad with roasted vegetables, walnuts, pistachios, Craisins and gaucamole
Snack: Small bag of Bare Fruit granny smith apple chips
Dinner: Grilled swordfish steak, roasted kale and sweet potato
Dessert: Cookies n' cream Quest bar

Exercise:

20 minutes recumbent bike, the good one with the decent resistance level; then Workout A of Strong Curves; then a 60-minute Pilates mat class.

Saef, tell me what you decide. I have no idea. I was a manager (without power to hire and fire) of a really rotten worker for 3 years, my only managerial experience. I can't say I did a good job AT ALL.

I love the end of the school year, but things do tend to go nuts. Tonight I help run coat check at Prom. Looking forward to that!

My weight is up today, but that is a function of hormonal water retention I think more than fat gain. This past week I've fluxuated 4 lbs. That's a lot! I'm 1/2 lb below redline.

Today I am celebrating a full 2 weeks of below redline wt! My excel linear trend line has pointed downwards for a week. Hoping to keep that up!

"Nie mój cyrk, nie moje malpy."

(Polish saying. "Not my circus, not my monkeys.")