Susan - underwear

It's v important. Some of the dresses I've been trying on however have been so flimsy that it wouldn't matter! I at least made sure that I was wearing frenchies rather than strongly elasticated knickers that cut in and bulge wherever they touch! Sorry TMI!
lucky - scales, they're a pain in the butt!

I think it's best to keep plugging away - I know when I'm "light" I feel like I can be a

all day because I weighed "light" in the morning! As for micromanaging and obsessing - I think if you pay attention to the days where you can eat lots for less than 1500 and try to replicate them most days then you're learning about what fills you and how you respond to certain foods. I know I was surprised when I planned my food for today that it all came to less than 1500 and I knew all that food would be filling. Ok so I've eaten a little more, but that was more head hunger (I used a pear for one head-hunger issue

). I think we're getting there!
I also had a thought last night after this huge blow-out thingie, that, well, what if I'm placing too much pressure on myself to be "perfect". The exercise plan about lifting in the morning, running at lunch and kickboxing. If I screw up one of those I feel like a failure. If I eat more than 1800kcals in a day - even though I'm hungry - I feel like a failure. If I eat a cookie when I'm trying to have a clean day - you guessed it

I was really tempted to "wing it" from now on, not obsess over calories or having a week where I get all my exercise in (I don't think I've ever done that!!). Then if the opportunity of a meal out arises I won't be beating myself up because I was trying to have a "clean day". I also remember thinking that I need to listen to what my body is really telling me. If I'm tired I must nap, or not go to class, or not go out trekking round London where junk food is easily accessible. If I'm sick I must rest, if I'm hungry I must eat what my body needs, not what my head needs. If I'm fed-up I must watch Wallace and Gromit
I almost threw the "winging it" approach out with the bathwater, BUT I do feel that, for example, if I want / "need" a bag of Maltesers because of crappy wedding dresses, then I should have them, then this will stave off a huge eat-all-the-chocolate-you-can binge later on in the evening. So I think the best plan at the moment is... Plan the next day's meals (DON'T wing the healthy food) AND if they're as filling as today's food, then I have flexible calories to "spend" on maltesers, creme eggs, pears, toast, eggs, chicken etc! As for exercise - I just think if the alarm goes off and I feel like lifting, then lift. If it gets to lunchtime and I feel like running, then run. If it gets to kickboxing class and I feel like so much doggy doo, then go home. No-one's going to appreciate me collapsing on them in class!
So I think a little balance is called for, some planning and some

listening to what my BODY needs, not what my head feels like.
Phew - novel anyone?