Just a flying visit, i have three 2 year olds demolishing my house lol. Weigh in not flash this week holding at 232 which is driving me mental (I feel your pain Diane) TOM this week so craving, okay and eating, carbs!! Another shooting myself in the foot week, I just can't seem to fully commit! Report card reads must try harder ... but why does fresh bread and butter taste soooo good - darn winter

Yay Laurie so awesome to see you posting again!!!

Good morning, ladies. I was 194.0 this morning. That's exciting! I'm slowly getting to those coveted 180s.

Got on the scale this morning, just to check and it did show me 219. Not official yet, but I just so wanted to see the teens. It made me feel better anyway. I did some lawn mowing last night after work. It just about killed me, so I looked up what the calorie burn would be for something like that. Not bad! 45 minutes is 411 calories. That might be a little high, but with my crappy lawn mower, I'm sure there is a good burn. Anyway, that's how obsessed I am.... Went to Spin this morning. Dang good workout! I think the weather will hold, so running tonight.

MissLoud: Boy, I hear you on the bread and butter issue. Love that stuff! I think you can still have it, but it is hard to limit how much. Glad you posted though! Good to "see" you!

Paulitens: Glad you had some scale love this morning!!

Good morning!

Kelly - Great to see you're still here, with those super-active little ones keeping you busy.

Paulitens - Woot! Keep on keeping on! The 180s are awesome, and you will be there soon.

Diane - Oof. The balance is the worst. Glad your husband supports your priorities, whatever they may be. Also cool that you are doing stuff that supports both your goals. Lawn mowing - calorie burning and taking care of business. I am so excited for you to see that you saw the 2-teens! You have absolutely earned it. And while I greatly appreciate the compliment regarding my ability to write inspirational stuff, I hope you know that you have written several posts that I call to mind when I really need inspiration. And your longevity in your commitment is awe-inspiring.

I am not on track, but I feel like I have done some re-focusing this week, and am closer to being on track. Yesterday was my birthday, and in 2006 (I think), my birthday propelled me into losing almost 100 pounds. I am thinking about that. I don't want to make it an "all or nothing" thing--if I can't recapture that success, I have squandered the opportunity thinking--but I am trying to use it to motivate me to go in the right direction.

Going to do daily goals, I think, for the next few days.

1 - I am going to drink 5 17-ounce bottles of water.
2 - I am not going to stop for fast food today.
3 - I will limit myself to 1 ice cream treat (there's a ton at work), and will only have it if I really want it.
4 - I will eat the cherries I brought to work and the tuna or salmon I have at my desk. (Sometimes, I don't eat at all, and that can lead to a disastrous evening.)
5 - I will stop whatever I am doing by 2:00 p.m. and either go to the gym or go for a walk.

Another day. Another opportunity to change the world for good.

Slashnl Turns out the scale will show me some love if I eat what I'm supposed to. Who'd have thought?

Looks like your lawn mowing is a great work out. I should do that! I have to lawns to mow but I hate the mess, the mosquitoes, the humidity, the heat... ew. Hahaha! That's why I don't ever go out for a run.


LaurieDawn I love your daily mini goals. This lifestyle takes daily commitment, choosing the right foods and the right activities constantly until it kind of becomes second nature, our regular routine. I started taking really good care of what I ate on Monday and it's already paying off. I was complaining so much about plateauing but really I wasn't taking care of those tiny little choices that make all the difference. And after four days I'm loving the results and I'm getting to that point of going on auto pilot so to speak. I do look forward to a splurge on Saturday, but I am not thinking about what my next meal will be, about what to snack on. Every day I think "today I'm going to rock this thing." And every morning after I weigh myself in I renew that commitment. One meal at a time, one day at a time. I am just loving what I'm doing because the love the scale is showing me is far more rewarding than the sugar-free candy. Even if it's sugar-free.

With that being said, I saw the glorious 193.6 this morning. I am hoping to have lost 10 lbs by the 20th (one month since I began); so far, I'm 1.4 lbs away from that goal and I think it's reasonable.

Made it to Thursday. This has been a tougher week in getting to the gym on time. I get up ok, most of the time, but then I just drag around until it is pushing the deadline. But, made it to Body Pump this morning and I ran last night.

Yesterday was one of those days that you remind yourself to keep your goals and weight loss efforts to yourself (except for coming here). Two coworkers and I were talking and the one was saying how good I look, blah blah blah, and then asked how much more I wanted to lose. Normally, I wouldn't say, but it must have been a weak moment and I said that my first goal was about 40 more pounds, and then we'd see how that looked/felt. The other one, who is very heavy, said that there was no way I should lose 40 more pounds, that I'd be too skinny, etc. UGH. 40 more pounds will only put me at 180. Not exactly skinny. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but I really don't need that crap from her. Oh well, reminder not to share info!!

Paulitens: Way to go!! Staying on track is working well for you!

Laurie: Yep, daily goals is a smart thing to do. They are reasonable and I think that's a great way to go. Oh, and belated happy birthday! I think that using it as motivation to move forward is good. I think that all of us have to be careful with the all or nothing mentality. If we have a bad day, then we need to forgive ourselves and start back again the next day. When it gets to be more than just one bad day, you can feel like giving up. And that just can't be an option! (I'm talking to myself as much as anything with this!)

I am just doing an afternoon check-in to do a bit of bragging and to keep focus.

I FINALLY took off during the afternoon to do a work-out. I haven't really developed my "plan" yet, so not a gym work-out, but a walk (with some running -- it's hard not to, even though I'm really not "supposed" to) with some stair climbing. Usually, it's mid-afternoon where I am desperately searching for sugar. Even though I have given myself permission for an ice cream treat, I genuinely don't want one at this moment. It's a nice break from the compulsion I have been feeling at this time virtually every day.

Will do a full check-in in the morning. This place helps me be accountable, and right now, that's what I really, really need.

Right I finally have some time to check in properly! I've had a but of a dodgy week foodwise, TOM was evil. Was surprised to see no change on the scales so a real knuckle down this week might just get me to the 220s - surely! I had a try on with some of my 'almost fit' clothes and even though the scales haven't been moving I must be loosing inches because alot of them are fitting now so thats cool. Also another NSV I sat on the swing at our holiday home and it doesn't dig it to my butt anymore!!! I need to find time to take some progress pictures, I like to do it when I'm alone -- which is pretty much never lol. So all in all things are okay even if the scales have plateaued -- I should be happy about that right??!! Why can't I get into the groove then. I'm guessing I'm just feeling down at the moment, coming into winter and June is just a plain sad month for my family, its my brothers birthday and the anniversary of his death two weeks later, I feel like I want to cry all the time. Also have the worst UTI ever!!!! Off to the doctor shortly, haven't had one for 10 years! Eek.

Well aren't I just a Debbie Downer

So Laurie you asked the question is it worth it, well thats been spinning in my head too. I think it is, its so hard when you've lost weight and feel quite comfortable where you are - why keep trying? For me I would love to say its for my health blah blah bla but if I'm honest with myself its purely vanity, I want to wear nice clothes and I also don't want my sons to grown up with the fat mum who picks them up from school, I don't want them to be embarrassed by me. Sooo I'm no help am I lol

Diane I hear you on the, oh you don't need to loose that much front. My friend told me I was looking good (sorry I actually thought I looked good at it my start weight too but whatever) and when I said I want to loose another 30kg she thought I was joking, shes teeny tiny, I think from her perspective she just can't imagine that extra weight - but it does come off as a bit condescending.

Whats everyones thoughts on #effyourbeautystandards ? To me its kind of like a grey area for those of us striving to loose weight. I mean more power to you if you are happy at whatever weight you are. It just got me thinking when there was a article on it on the news the other night, and the announcer guy made the comment that to him it looked like people were trying to justify being overweight, it got me really annoyed and thinking why should I justify being over weight?? Its like my mum saying there is no way I was happy at my heavier weight -- well, I hate to tell you, I was, I had no health concerns and was active why should my thighs being bigger make me unhappy! Okay I've gone of on a tangent lol

Oh Paulitens soo close to the 180s yay, numbers on the scale are so encouraging!!!

Right off to get my groove on

Slashnl -- I hear ya! I don't tell people how much I'm trying to lose either, because at 5'4'', when I tell them I need to lose 70 lbs they look at me like "that would be too much for you." But the truth is, I do have a big frame, and I am naturally thick. No matter how low my weight goes, I am still thick. Losing 70 lbs would put me at 132, and even then I could use losing a few more because I know I would have a pooch around my tummy (just an educated guess, because the only time I was 132 I had not had babies yet and I didn't have a flat tummy). Our bodies are all different, and we're not doing this because we want to be and look anorexic. We are doing this because we want to be and look healthy.

LaurieDawn-- Bragging about good things is good! We're here for good things and inspiration, and sharing your good news helps others. You never know. Way to go on the walk/run!

MissLoud-- Yay for clothes fitting! I can't wait to fit in my old skinny clothes from last year. I do but they're snug and mark my fat rolls. Haha! I need to take my progress picture too. I took one on April 20th, I guess I should take another next Monday. I'm sorry about this time of the year that makes you feel sad. We all have times like that and we need to give ourselves a bit of time to feel down, and then kick ourselves back into gear. Nobody can stay happy and positive 100% of the time.

About #effyourbeautystandards... ugh... I'm just so annoyed by the whole campaigning for skinny people, campaigning for fat people, "fat shaming," "skinny shaming," "real women have curves," #imnoangel, etc. Why do we have to justify ourselves and our life choices/lifestyles? Why don't we just say, "to each their own" and stop judging, and trying to validate and seek validation? If others feel happy with their bodies, even if they're obese, good for them! It's not my body. But I am obese and I don't like it. And I know I'm no angel with my DDD breasts, and I don't like it either. And my "curves" are fat and it is not okay. I don't want people to validate my poor eating and exercise habits saying that I'm all good. I'm not all good if I don't feel all good. I never liked being fat. Don't tell me it's okay. Ugh. Just... ugh. Seriously. This topic is something I'm passionate about and I could go on for hours on a rant against it.


Anyhow... today I was shown some love by the scale, putting me at 192.4 and I'm feeling fabulous. Too fabulous to even entertain trying the junk food my husband bought last night.

Good morning!

Paulitens - The honeymoon phase! That's absolutely the best. When it's also accompanied by consistent scale results, it's hard to even imagine how difficult the journey can be. May your honeymoon phase last forever! And congrats on the new numbers.You are doing incredibly well.

Kelly - What a trifecta you are dealing with. Winter blues, mourning the death of your brother (which, I know from experience, has no expiration date), and a UTI. UTIs are the worst, and it's so hard to stay focused when you don't feel well. But I treasure your cheerfulness even in the fact of obstacles (though I would also treasure any other expression of emotion, including a rage-fueled rant, if you're feeling it).

On the whole #effyourbeautystandards movement, I whole-heartedly embrace it! Skinny. Fat. Pock-marked. Chicken legs. Tree trunk thighs. Lines. Scars. Completely symmetrical and ethereally beautiful. It's ridiculous to make people feel bad when they don't meet some (almost always genetically-unreachable) standard of beauty. It's also ridiculous to assume that those genetically-gifted people who also prioritize health (or, let's be honest, vanity) enough to maintain an "ideal" figure must be inferior in other ways. Instead, I believe fully in embracing our own beauty. My C-section scar that is now accompanied by an apron of skin and fat? I hate it. But when my husband rests his hand there, I will myself to recognize it as an act of love, and try to banish the thoughts of, "Doesn't he realize how gross that is?" from my mind. No need to try to transfer my own neurosis. And to the comedian who thinks he's funny when he makes the unoriginal observation about the DOT employee who has a "front butt?" You are not among the people whose opinions matter to me. To him, I say, #effyourbeautystandards Also, you're not very funny anyway, so try not to alienate a huge portion of your audience if you're really trying to make money doing this. Whew. Lots of words. Lots of feelings about this. And one more. People who "let themselves go" by not going to the gym regularly and eating poorly have genuine, real reasons for doing it. I have posted it before, but I will say it again. I grew to my highest weight in law school. I also finished my degree with highest honors and kept my five kids alive and relatively healthy after my then-husband left me (and them, for about a year). I know almost no one who would say, "Yes, you sacrificed a lot and accomplished a lot, but all I hear is excuses from someone who is too lazy to do what it takes to deal with her weight problem." Why would I say it to myself?

Diane - One of my biggest pet peeves - people who don't know what they're talking about, but decide that their evaluation of a situation where they know about 2% of what you know is more accurate than your evaluation of the situation. Oof. Really glad that you're still getting compliments, though. They are well-earned and well-deserved. You're an inspiration to countless people, and I'm definitely included in that.

I did a Toasted and have had this open for about four hours now. And I have also written a book. Gotta close, but need to add my daily goals.

Weight this morning - 221.2. But I remembered to weigh!

Day 1 was wholly successful. Day 1 is, in my mind, the hardest, except for perhaps Day 2. =) Today's goals:

1 - Eat my healthy food. I have yet to eat today, so I need to get on that.
2 - Get in my 10000 steps. May be difficult, but I am committed to doing at least 7000.
3 - Finish my weight lifting plan. Getting there, but not yet done.
4 - No fast food. Instead, I will stop at the grocery on the way home. Yesterday, my husband made tacos. Not only do I hate his taco recipe, but it was more calories than I wanted. Luckily, I had prepared a meal to eat instead. Just as I walked in the door, I watched my stepson pack it for his school lunch. So, I ate a quesadilla with the family, which was way too much nutrient-light, calorie-dense food, and quite unsatisfying (but still within calories, though I had to be much hungrier than I wanted). I will be better prepared.
5 - No sugar this afternoon. I don't need it, and I'm not really fighting cravings for it when I walk. So, gonna make sure to do that.

Have a great day, everyone, and a fantastic weekend!

So, went to Spin this morning, but I just realized I might not be able to go running tonight. I was going to go, but today is my son’s birthday. We are going out to lunch together, and he’s going out tonight, but I didn’t get his cake made last night. I totally forgot to do it. So, might need to run home after work to get that done. We’ll see what his plans are. I can always go tomorrow, I guess. I was pleasantly surprised at the gym today, though. It is fairly cold here today, so I couldn’t wear my capris like I wanted to, and brought my jeans instead. I was a little worried because these jeans were really tight last time I wore them. They were ones that I bought smaller, so that I could still wear them as I continued to lose weight. Well, they fit way better than the last time I wore them, so I’m really tickled about that. Little victories!!

Laurie: Hey, that's great that you had a victory like that! So cool! You definitely need to let us know about the good stuff too! Sometimes it is really hard to break those cravings at certain times of the day. I had trouble with having little desserts while I was doing the dinner dishes. It took a lot of effort to break that nasty little habit, but I know it was hurting my efforts. Oh, and nice job on getting the exercise!

MissLoud: I'm sorry you have a tough month coming up. I'm sure that it is hard to have those memories. And then, heading into colder weather never is a good thing to me. I am glad that we are getting into warm weather here, although it seems to be taking forever to get here. Good news on the clothes fitting! It's always fun to be able to wear what you haven't worn for a while. As for the #effyourbeautystandards campaign, I hadn't heard about it, so I looked it up. I agree that it is good to feel good about yourself, but I don't like it when either group judges the other body types. It is kind of like that song "All about the bass", which seems to be a positive message, but my niece who has been very thin her whole life pointed out to me that it criticizes those who are "stick figures" and puts down those who are trying to improve their body/health. Everyone needs to live and let live!! It is the same thing when the person here at work told me I would be too skinny if I lost 40 more pounds. Why is it ok for her to judge my goal? Anyway....

Paulitens: Yep, you said it better. I am with you on not being ok with the amount of fat on my body. That's why I am working hard to change it. If anyone else is ok with being obese or overweight, that's cool too. But for me, it isn't ok.

LaurieDawn -- I have very long honeymoon phases when I finally decide to tie the knot . I don't think of this as a diet, and as the means to reach a desired weight; this is a lifestyle that requires consistent right choices, patience with the process of building healthy habits, and patience with myself if I make a poor choice in the process. I think I would be at my desired weight now if I had not gotten pregnant last year because I was building a lifestyle, and over 5 months I slowly but surely lost 40 lbs. It is hard for me to get into the mindset of making healthy choices and building healthy habits but once I'm in that zone, that's it. It becomes my life. I just get very moody while pregnant and... eh, the heck with everything! Literally. So I wouldn't say there is a honeymoon phase, or if there is one, it's very long lasting. In any case... it's all good. Whatever leads us to eat healthy, right?



I like your perspective on#effyourbeautystandards because you have the same view as me, only I don't care for the need for a movement itself. I agree -- there should be no "standards" to beauty. We are all different and what some consider beautiful may not necessarily be beautiful to others. And what other people think is gross about my body... really, what's it to them? They can look some other way instead of trying to shame me. That's why I don't think a movement is necessary. We just need to drop it all together and keep these hurtful opinions to ourselves. It's like (and I hope I don't ignite a racial discussion; it's just my opinion as an outsider living in the US) talking about "diversity" in the US. It's like the more we talk about it and the more we try to encourage diversity, the more we end up pointing at our differences and what colors we are, and what cultural baggage we have. Let's just drop it. The more we talk about these things as a society just seems to achieve the exact opposite of what we're trying to do: talking about differences, and thus allowing bigots to make those differences matter. And we know how it goes--idiots seem to have big mouths. I have realized that I feel the happiest when I focus on my own inner beauty showing through my smile and through my attitudes, than when I focus on how my inner beauty is different from other people's. I don't know if that makes sense. Anyhow... I agree with your approach, I just think a movement is kind of unnecessary.

Slashnl -- Yay for non scale victories! I am noticing that my clothes are fitting better as well.



OMG. All about that bass. HOW I HATE THAT SONG. From the singer's annoying voice to the fact that it puts down girls with big boobs (ahem, me), that it puts all human value on having a big booty, etc. I have a friend who's also struggling with her weight who loves the song because she says that it's positive about loving yourself the way you are. Um, really? It's about loving yourself fat by comparing yourself and putting down others, putting an emphasis on who you are on the outside, while completely ignoring the fact that it's the inside what makes us valuable. Anyway. My friend and I went back and forth about that song so much! I just decided to drop it. To each their own.

********

Okay, so last night being Friday night I indulged in a little bit of yummy treats but I still managed not to go over my budget. It felt SO good to realize that at the end of the day! But I needed to use the restroom really bad and that didn't happen until after my weight in and after I had some food in my tummy this morning. So my weight today was the same as yesterday, 192.4. Maybe tomorrow it will be down a bit thanks to my visit to the loo post-weigh in.

191.2 this morning!

Hi Everyone!

Sorry it has been a couple weeks since I posted! As I think I mentioned in my last post, I traveled a couple weeks ago. I really tried to stay focused on my eating and not fall into my "I am on vacation!" eating habits. I think I did pretty well. For the most part I kept the food in check; the alcohol was a bit tougher, but not bad. When I came home, I had an appointment with a dental specialist. I was pretty certain that the ultimate prognosis would be that one of my teeth would need to be extracted and I was right. So, I had a tooth pulled last week. And, now I grading finals (I teach a law class on the side).

I am holding steady at 15 pounds lost, which has been okay, actually. Although I did pretty well on my vacation, when I returned, I was off plan for a few days, so holding steady has been fine. But, now I need to get back on plan and get back into the groove.

Laurie! I am so glad to see you here. When I first came back about a month ago, I was hoping to see you here.

Paulitens--you are doing great! So close to the 180s now!

I will try to catch up on the posts I missed when I was gone, but just wanted to let you all know that I haven't dropped off of the face of the earth and I will try to post more regularly.

Good morning, all!

LotusMama - It's so great to see you back here! My sympathies on having to grade law school finals. Regular finals are painful enough. But with an entire semester's grade riding on a single class. Well, that just has to be the worst. Besides tooth pain. Yay being down 15 pounds! And keeping it off through vacation!

Paulitens - You are cooking right through the numbers. Staying on plan with food (and maybe exercise?) is really hard with babies crawling all over. So impressed that you are doing it. I think we'll have to disagree about the need to organize, however, for either fat acceptance or racial equality. =) On just a practical level, fat women (and men, to a lesser degree) are offered fewer job opportunities, are paid less, and are promoted at a much slower rate. It's not just a matter of self-acceptance. And look at the statistics for percentage of people of color spending time in prison, for example. People of color in this county are pulled over at a much higher rate, are arrested at a much higher rate, are convicted at a much higher rate, and are given much harsher sentences. And I am talking about when everything else is constant, so the easy (and probably racist) answer that people of color are just committing more crimes is not accurate. These, and many other things involving people of color, have to change. (I also have a little rant about sexism, if you're interested. ;-) )

Diane - Oof. Baking a cake versus going for a run. Those are the really hard choices. I struggle with those choices all of the time. I know I need to prioritize my own health, but I also want to make sure that I am a whole person and not ignoring the other responsibilities in life. With you having a full-time job and all the household responsibilities, time just gets really tight and really precious. I admire you for having balanced it so consistently for so long. And you're a success tonight, whether you bake the cake or go for the run, because you did something that really mattered. (I say this largely because I would tend to allow myself to feel like a failure for either choice, and it's just not true.)

My scale read 218.0 this morning! The water weight is starting to come off. I have 4 days under my belt now, and I'm clicking into the "this is so easy, I don't understand why I don't always do this" mindset. Gonna ride it as long as I can! My husband also bought me a new bike for our anniversary, and I took it on its inaugural run Saturday with a fairly short 4.25 mile adventure with the family. Yesterday, though, I decided to ride the 8 miles to my work to see how long it would take me. It takes just under an hour each way. I am going to make it my goal to commute to work on my bike once a week until October. (And yes, after the 16-mile ride yesterday, my butt is really, really sore, despite the gel seat my husband so considerately installed.)

So nice to be checking in again with this community! Thank you to everyone for all the support.