Amazing... if your name wasn't signed at the bottom I would of thought I wrote that!

Well.. I started fitday.com again.. for the billionth time. I just want to start losing. I am such a food addict. I feel like I'm at the beginning of a realization that this is really is a problem.

I'm starting to notice that I get ignored or people look at me. I suddenly realizing that it's weight discrimation. It's all around me. I just can't get over it. Very humbling, it is.

Dana

[QUOTE

I'm starting to notice that I get ignored or people look at me. I suddenly realizing that it's weight discrimation. It's all around me. I just can't get over it. Very humbling, it is.

Dana[/QUOTE]

It's funny, well not really funny, but I would always say "How much bigger do I need to be for people to notice me?" I could be the biggest person in the room and still not be noticed. Why bother talking to the fat person? It's discrimination and it's downright dispicable.

While I definitely agree that it's true that we are treated differently when we're overweight, I know that I behave differently the heavier I am too. When my weight is up, and especially when I was at 330 pounds, I tended to try and stay out of the crowd, not meet peoples eyes, and try not to be noticed. I wasn't outgoing and friendly because I knew what people were thinking about me. I think that's part of the reason that some people treated me differently when I was heavier, it wasn't just them it was me too.

Yes, I was definitely going to add that to my post, that I'm sure that there is a part of me who holds back and TRIES to be invisible.

But with being 100% honest there are many times when I feel I have been ignored for no other reason then my weight. If you ask anyone that knows me I am a very social person and have tried hard to maintain an outgoing personality even through all this weight. In fact I think I many times overcompensate for it. I

One time inparticular comes to mind, when I was at a function at my daughter's school and 2 women, who had kids in my daughter's class needed to get past me, we were in the auditorium and seated and they literally had to get by me. Neither of them said hello or excuse me, they just kinda shoved past me without saying a word. I just think they wanted nothing to do with me, I wasn't their type, skinny and pretty. Well now that I think of it - I'm really not their type - stuck up and ignorant.

I'm definitely skinnier in my head than I am in real life. I am SHOCKED when I see photos of myself near people that I consider to be larger than I am (and in the photo I'm larger than they are!).

It's a good reality check. It's depressing. I had been thinking my face was looking thinner, but in the non-posed Thanksgiving photos I have multiple chins.

Well... I can look at it positively: It has inspired me to work harder.

Like most everyone else, I was in denial when I was heavier. Looking at my before picture is horrifying, actually. While I know that I'm a lot thinner, I now tend to focus on the "bad" body parts in the mirror. Body image is so fickle.

That's just rude the last line made me laugh a little, but mostly I'm glad you can stand up for yourself to yourself, if that makes sense

I have definitely experienced what everyone's written about. It's amazing how our mind works! I don't mind if I look big now because I am losing it and I am committed to losing it. I don't like the idea of friends and family having absolutely unflattering pictures of me but then again, I can't do too much about that. I will however, make sure I give them tons of opportunities to take pics of me when I am happy with my body size or just look good regardless of weight!

I have one full body picture of me from 9 years ago when I was under 200 pounds, all other pictures from then until the present are from the shoulders up.

It was a huge shock to look at myself in a mirror at 310 pounds while trying on clothing at Lane Bryant. I had been avoiding my reflection and cameras for so long that I was living in denial about my weight. Mentally I was still 180and physically I was obese and sooo uncomfortable.

I recently bought a full sized mirror for this apartment, it's the first big mirror I've ever owned. I look at myself each day so I don't forget.

The tummy and the weird sagging flesh on my thighs are HUGE reminders that I need to stick to exercise and eating right!!!

I hope my boyfriend will get us a digital camera so I can take pictures each month. Seeing everyone that has all the before and after pictures are great motivation and I want to do the same!

Sometimes I feel really good... I feel like I look good in the clothes im wearing, but if i see a picture of myself in those clothes i cringe. your not alone!

Pictures are the worst! I can fool myself when I look in the mirror, but the pictures are horrible. I had a shirt that I thought was very flattering, and then somebody snapped a photo of me wearing it. The person in the picture was so FAT and that shirt just emphasized how large I was.

Yeah, how do I do that? When I look in the mirror somehow I look sort of normal to myself. I have been large my whole life, so maybe that's part of it. It's just those passing glances that I catch that make me do a double-take and realize just how big I really am.

Oh yah. I've been much smaller in my head for a long time (and I wonder why I put on the weight? Duh Lisa!). I saw some pictures of me taken at my highest weight and it was humiliating to learn how big I was. Absolutely humiliating and the BEST thing that could have EVER happened to me. It snapped me out of denial and made me realize how BIG I really was (and still am, but we're working on that one )

I know, it's terrible. I'm so sick of it; can't wait until that stops. I'm ready to be checked out, darn it!

My mirror at home always makes me appear skinnier than I do in any other mirror/window! It's depressing to realize that I don't look quite so good as I thought I did that morning getting dressed!

I can't comment on how I would behave were I thin (as I've never ever been thin, not even as a child), but I am generally a very outgoing and friendly person. I always make eye contact (in fact, I've asked a friend to take off her sunglasses before because it bothered me that I couldn't see her eyes when I spoke with her!) and very rarely have any hesitation in going up and talking to a stranger. In general, people respond very well to me. However, in some cases I literally have to stand in front of a person to be noticed - I can feel there eyes sort of quickly pass by me, not focusing on me, until I essentially 'force' interaction...once I have their attention, it's no problem, as I'm very friendly...yet I always feel a teeny bit sad about that first reaction 'dismissal'.

I'm actually interested to see how/if my personality will change once I reach a more normal size (and whether I will be self-aware enough to notice a change). Will I become even more outgoing? More fearless? Or will I become more bitter? (There are many situations where I have a snarky thought that I keep to myself because I always think someone will respond with "Well, you're fat!" And then I'm never sure how I would respond if that were to happen...so I keep most snarkiness to myself!) I'm trying to think of situations where I feel that my weight has stopped me from doing things...what's coming to mind are certain sporting activities. In those cases I may have opted out likely because I thought I was too heavy or too big to use the required equipment etc. I suspect that as a thinner person I might become more willing to risk embarrassment (i.e. do karaoke - I cannot sing, dance when there are very few people on the dance floor - can't say that I'm a good dancer either, etc.).

I was definitely in denial. Although the scale showed almost 235, I told myself, my DH and kids that I weighed 185. I would even make excuses not to weigh at the Dr.'s office and tell them, "oh, I already weighed myself and it's 185". I couldnt' admit to myself how much I weighed. I actually believed that no one could tell that I was lying about 50lbs. LOL. When I started this journey of a lifetime, I finally came true with myself and others about my starting weight. It took time, but I was excited and didn't want to have to lie every week and say I'd lost less than I actually had to have the numbers come out right in the end. Coming to 3FC's made it easier for me, as everyone else posts their high weight so I felt that I could do it too.

I think I'm definitely more out-going now. I don't avoid eye-contact like I did before. I was too afraid everyone was judging me by the weight.

Yes, yes, yes. I find myself avoiding situations where I might see people I know, too, or I'll avert my eyes to make sure they don't recognize me.

I've always been very shy, but the weight just adds to it.