Hello!
Thanks for all the welcomes! It's nice to be back...
I really am feeling better. Today i started my day with healthy breakfast and what a difference it has made!

I've been doing chores I've kept moving to tomorrow... and now they are done. I see difference in everything: I love my life, I love my family, I love my home(month ago I hated everythin in this house) and I even love myself! I have this "wonderfull life"-project going. Actually it was my DH's idea, he gave me the most wonderfull birthday present: it was a pile of gift tokens; to hairdresser,to massages, to etc. facials...clothes stores, lingerie store etc. busstickets to go to visit friends. He said that it was time for me to start being the woman he know I am: active and social. so everyday i start my day by doing something i really like. Today I started my day by reading a really good book! 2hours i just read. yesterday i waxed my legs

I didn't exactly love doing it but I love the feeling

This project includes writing down everything that makes me happy. I spend 10minutes everyday writing down those, the list is long already.
KAyley: I have similar experience in amusementpark, Särkänniemi in Tampere, We go there everyyear and 2summers ago I decided to try one ride called tornado. I was on line with DH and he got on but I didn't(he is only 20lbs lighter than me...) talk about embarrasment

last summer he went there alone. This summer I have promised my son that we go there, but let's see if I can go there.... i'm still too big for the rides. But maybe next year!
I bought a bike. now i go everywhere biking. I must look funny but who cares

I have done this summer so many things I have wanted to do but thought "after I get my goal weight..." . Biking is one, a day in beach with family swimming included...
I have fears and doubts, but I have decided not to notice them. And NOTHING has been so bad as I thought it would be...
Have a nice day everyone!