Oh, phew! Yes, I knew what you were saying.
It's tricky sometimes trying to get across online what we really mean.

Exactly! When there is no body language, can't see facial expressions etc. things don't always come across as we mean them! All the icons help but still not the same.

Have to say though that cyber-friendships can be very real. In fact, three of my best friends in the world I first met online!

Occasionally, I feel the need for the ones surrounding me to "join" me in my eating habits, but it almost never happens. There's always someone that 1) could eat healthier 2) shouldn't be eating the junk and sometimes 3) overweight or obese, or with some heart disease. I can't say enough, but I think I have, at least to them. The other day, I had a conversation with my mother. I think she avoids checking her cholesterol levels and blood pressure. Now she phoned me and said she was having sausage for breakfast. I asked her, "Did you know that one sausage link has roughly 240 calories and 120 of it is usually from fat alone? Provided that the diner you're eating in gives you 2 sausage links with 3 scrambled eggs and homefries (her usual favorite) you'e chugging down a whole plate of saturated fat and cholesterol!". And she ignorantly said "no, I didn't know that" even though I KNEW she did. I obviously care for my mother, but seeing how she couldn't possibly care to exercise or get a health checkup, I couldn't say more. I love my mom, I know you probably love your hubby, but we can't press them to do things if they choose to ignore it. I think bringing the topic up occasionally would help his understanding of why its important for all of us to eat healthily, but doing more than that seems futile .

I know how you feel about being selfish. I feel like that too sometimes. But we have to do this for ourselves.

But it's better than no support at all

Me, I'd just let him be that way if he wants to and ignore it. I know it's tough to watch someone you care about trash themselves with junk when you're trying to get your own self healthy, but what can we do? That's his body and your body is yours. Treat yourself well even if others won't do the same for themselves.

Exactly.

Never feel selfish and guilty for doing good things for yourself, EVER.

You've only got one you.

When I started my new way of life 14 months ago, my husband rolled his eyes and said nothing. I could tell he had a "well, she's on another kick, she'll get off it soon enough" attitude. He brought home the usual fatty foods for me (like a 1 lb chocolate Easter rabbit for me last year), and in general just acted like he didn't think that I was very serious or that I do very well with losing weight.

A couple of weeks ago, I told him that I was at a new personal low, 195.5 lbs. and that I had lost 62 pounds. He seemed happy for me. Then I asked him if thought I was going to get to my goal weight. Without hesitation, he said "Of course you are!" I asked if he thought I would hit goal weight when I started. "I never thought you'd get under 230." He still buys junk food for himself, but if buys something for the both of us, he makes sure he something lean. "I bought some steaks, honey. They have very little fat on them!"

Just because a man isn't supportive at the start, doesn't mean they can't become so when they realize that this is real, and it's not going to go away. Seeing is believing, and now my man believes in me.

Annie, woooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooo good for you! Glad you were able to prove yourself to your hubby! Wow your pictures are incredible; thanks for sharing. Love the humor you used. And LOL I understand all too well about the belly shading the feet! Your pictures made me think that maybe... just maybe... there is hope that mine will retreat a bit someday! Great job!

Amen. Thank you, Tealeaf!

My husband had constantly asked me if I've been exercising. Not in a nagging way.. but in a way that I knew he just wanted me to do it but knew that there was nothing he could do to make me.

So now I am finally exercising. He is pleased, I can tell because he respects my decision to keep certain foods out of the house and always makes sure I am not planning to get on the mill before he steps anywhere near it. Yet he has not verbally praised me AT ALL.

I have to say that I was disappointed. I expected him to say something like, "You are looking good." or "Wow, you did X miles today." But he hasn't. I saw his lack of positive comments as a lack of support. Now I realize that just as he didn't nag me when I didn't move, he is not praising me when I do. I know that when he sees I am serious for the long term there will be a nice comment. But even if there isn't. My own sense of accomplishment is enough.

oh, wait.. I think one of my points was that my husband couldn't make me exercise.. he knew that, I knew that.

But one of the factors that got me moving was his constant question... almost a daily question. "Did you exercise today." Just to hear myself say no.. or worse.. to hear myself lie about it was one of the defining factors that got me moving.

I know because the day I exercised he asked me again; I said with a clear conscience, "Yes, I walked on the mill today for X miles. I feel great." Indeed the workout felt great. But the honesty felt just as good.

It's so nice to have all you supporting me with comments. I was so mad at first at my hubby I had to vent to all of you, but then I sat back and looked at the bigger picture. I am doing this for myself not for him and regardless of whether I get support from him or not I am going to do this!! Thanks from all again. I think 3FC forum is the greatest thing I have ever found helping with weight loss and everyone has been so great that has posted. Just wanted you all to know how much you do mean to me
JIll

I hope that as you continue to lose weight that you will find support from your husband. Mine didnt' think I could do it at first, but now knows that I will eventually meet my goal. He has became more supportive verbally , but still brings junk foods to the house. I'm the cook and he knows that I don't keep junk here. He did say yesterday that he thinks he going to start working out. It's about time, I've been at this for 9 1/2 months. I used to weigh more than him, but weigh 30 lbs. less than him now. Guess this gave him some inspiration.

Wow, Lilybelle. If I ever pass my husband's weight, I know he wouldn't wait 30 pounds to step up his exercises and eating habits. (He eats such terrible things.) I've never weighed less than him. What a thought! I'd say he would be "inspired!

Jill, that is the best!!

My DH is supportive but hasn't said one word (not one) about what I have lost so far. His mom came home this weekend and was amazed and went on & on about how great I look - that made me feel good! Yet he still says nothing. I think he is just waiting for me to fail (more like give up). I have news for him! Not this time, it is working this time.