This is too funny. I just got an invitation to this year's activity day. June 27. I don't think I'll be able to fit into the XL shirt this year. Maybe I can request a 2X? LOL.

I have been thin. And I hate that I let myself get fat. I look at those pictures of myself and I remember what it felt like to be like that, and I'm mad at myself for coming here. It all happened so gradually. I didn't see it hitting me. Part of the reason it got so bad, I guess is that denial is so strong. Even now when I imagine myself, what I look like, I see that thin person I used to be. My body image is of myself in the kind of body I used to have. It is a distorted image, I really don't look that way any more.

Photos are the worst. You look at them and say "OMG is that ME?" You can't believe you look that bad. Your mind doesn't look in the mirror, it just remembers the mirror of old. Weird.

Part of the struggle to get back there is the fear that "What if I lose all the weight I need to lose and I still don't look like my mental image?" With myself that is a very real possibility. The last time I was that thin (as thin as the image in my head) I was 17. I'm 50 now. No way I'll look that good again.

A part of me hates it. Hates that I allowed so many years to go by as a fat person. Why didn't I take this weight off years ago and really enjoy my youth? Why put up with this much extra fat for so long? Why even now am I finding it so hard to take it off?

There are two sides of the street. Having a body image of yourself as fat and that is "who you are" and finding it hard to lose because of that. OR having an image of yourself as a thin person (although you aren't) and mentally denying that you need to lose weight. Either one is a distorted sense of reality. Actually seeing who and what we are, and actually knowing that we have the potential to be something better, and then making the commitment to make it happen.... Well that is the struggle we all have no matter whether we've ever been thin or not.

Thin Oh wow I dont think so the smallest I ever was when I became adult was a 16 and that was it back in high school I wasn't thin but, pettie and thats where i want to be at again. I don't see myself beening a size 2 or anything just long as I am health at a smaller size then what i am now that fits my height of 5'8 and my weight for 5'8 is to be 160 and thats it. I don't see myself been any smaller then that. A size 16 is good for me. I am ok with my 18 20's now mainly coming from a size 24-26 this feel better. But, don't see myself beening smaller then a 14. I am just beening realized.

At my lowest weight of 147, I suppose I was thin, but I never thought I was thin--ever.

I agree with Wyllenn that you cannot rely on motivation, willpower or even inspiration to help you lose weight. All that is helpful, but you just have to be committed to the process no matter what. You will have good days, and you will have bad days that can stretch into weeks. But if you commit to losing weight and persist, the good days will outnumber the bad and eventually your inner thin woman will show herself.

Too often, people have incredible expectations about how fast they want to lose weight (which makes those Medifast ads awfully attractive!). Don't do that to yourself. Make small changes that you can live with, then once you see some results, you'll want to make bigger changes.

Will it be worth it to be able to get up a set of stairs without your knees hurting or being out of breath? Will it be worth it to know that you can sit in any chair without breaking it? Will it be worth it to have people stare at you with admiration in their eyes and not disgust? I don't think you need skinny photos of yourself (and most people with weight to lose don't recognize themselves as ever being skinny in photos anyway) to help you figure out it will be worth it.

You can do this!!

I had never been thin before starting this. In fact, I was so convinced that I was genetically fat and destined never to be thin that I never even tried.

Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy!!!

Even when I started losing weight, I didn't expect to get below a UK size 16 (US12) which is the size I remember being at school. I assumed that that was my natural size, and if I could get back there that would be as good as I could expect. When I got to size 16 I felt the thinnest I'd ever been (probably because I was )

I'm now a UK 12/US 8. I still feel fat sometimes, but I realise that I'm not, although I could probably lose more weight, and suspect that I may well do once I get out of my honeymoon period where I'm just happy to be this weight without focussing on losing any more.

I've never been here before, and I never thought that I'd be able to make it. But you don't know unless you try, and the results may just surprise you!

<raises her hand>

Yep, I'm one of those that has NEVER been thin. Even out of the womb, I outweighed my twin sister by two ounces.

I cannot even begin to envision myself thin. ThinNER, maybe, but not thin. For me, if I get down to about a 14, I think that would make me happy. To be honest, I don't really want to be THIN. I rather like my curvy body--would just prefer a little less of it.

Me too... I was even a fat toddler. Mom and pop owned a mom n pop store and let me sit under the candy counter all day long. My babysitter was Baby Ruth...

Wyellen is right, it's more than finding motivation it's finding dedication. Habit, persistence. Why do I go to work or school every day, unless I'm sick? 'Cos I have to. I'm not "motivated" to do it, I generally dislike it, but I just have to go, and so I do. By the way, follow Wyellen around a bit, she has some briliant posts....

Good luck and don't give up... we're here to talk anytime!

-lala

I've never been thin either. In pictures I can see that around age 5 I started getting "pudgy" and it just continued on from there. By 7 I was "fat".

I haven't been thin since I was a small child, and I don't have any concept of what it's like. I'm hoping to get there someday though.

Nope, never been thin. I think in high school I was 170lb. not that big but bigger than all the other girls. I did play sports but was always big. I never thought of using pictures for motivation. I have couple from highschool that I could use. It's funny, I always thought I was fat in high school but looking back now from this weight, i looked good! I'd like to be there again.

I feel that this that this can't all be done by motivation because we all lose motivation, it doesn't last long, same goes for will power. But I have a commitment to myself to be healhtier and to do that I need to lose a lot of weight and I need to exercise and eat right.

It so easy to look for the easy way out but I knew that if I wanted this to work, I had to be willing to put the time in and it's a slow process but I know that these little results I see now, like inches lost, breathing easier, walking farther and faster, I can see big results down the road and that's what keeps me going.

i wish you luck to accomplish your goals and find the resolve that will work for you.

I havent been thin since I was like 6 years old and now I'll be turning 40 in a few months. Yes, I can totally empathize with your feelings of not being sure if the work to lose weight is worth it when you have no idea what thin FEELS like. I also found Sherri's post interesting. From someone who has been thin and still thinks of herself that way. I just found it really interesting that it works both ways.

I had dropped a buttload (literally!) of weight in high school and at the time, I still felt I was way too big. In looking at those pictures now, how I WISH I still looked like that!

Hmmmm....
I went thru a "chubby phase" as a child...probably in the 3rd grade or so. Then I got very active in sports and just plain running around...(I was kind of a tomboy)....anyways..I thinned out again after the 3rd grade and stayed thin until the summer before 8th grade. I don't know if making the change from grade school to middle school did it to me or what....but I think I weighed 168 to 170 in 7th grade...(which was a lot for me back then..due to my height,etc.) Anyways....the summer before 8th grade, my cousin and I decided to diet. We were horrible and got into the binge and purge thing...uggghhhh.....yes..I was bulemic in the 8th grade...yikes!!!!!! Well....I got down to 125 or 130 and probably stayed between 130 to 145 all thru high school.....
Then came college....I was going to school about 200 miles from home. I lived in a studio apartment all by myself....no close friends or family. I must admit..I got bored and lonely..... My parents would give me money each week...needless to say...I spent it on food...and I mean a lot of food. I'd have no problem finishing off a medium pan pizza and a family thing of breadsticks...uggghhhh....it makes me sick thinking of all the food I ate there...geesh.

Anywho...it took awhile for it to catch up to me...and when it did...it really did!!!!!!! I gained 100 pounds in a year...it was horrible. Before I knew it...I was up to 255...ugghhhhhhhhhh. I know the away from home binge had a lot to do with it...but I would also be diagnosed with pcos a few years later....which may have contributed to the situation a little.

I am so glad to be on this road to a healthier me. I still look at pictures and can't believe what I did to myself. I notice too...my hair looks crappy in those highest weight pics, I don't have makeup on, etc...I just completely gave up on myself and my looks...which is not like me at all. I keep all those pics..although there aren't a lot of them......I never want to get back to that again...never.

Ok..that's kind of my little story....so in answering the question...yes..I have been thin...(although like many others...I never thought I was actually thin at the time).

hugs,
Liv

Ya know, I have always been fat, but I have still have "skinny" pictures to look back at.
I have looked at some high school pictures, and ones where I was around 250lbs, my jeans size was 40/36 (men's jeans fit better), I was active, and happy (and only needed to lose a few inches in the hips to be in a size 18)
I am 100lbs heavier, and looking at those pictures now, I think I must have been crazy for thinking I was fat, when I didn't look too bad - and I was happy!
I just want to be that way again.... I don't know if I will ever be "thin", but I know where I can be happy. (btw, I was a fat kid too, I weighed 230lbs in 8th grade as well).
If I were you, I would find those feelings again... at what weight would you be happiest and feel normal. I guess.... I don't know if that helps, but I certainly know where you are coming from.

Before school age days and maybe the beginning years, perhaps I wasn't overweight, but that changed. Really most of my life I have been though. So I don't know what it's like to be thin, so I'm on a mission to find out!