Ok..details. So our "anniversary" has always been on the 28th...our 1st date was on the 28th and every month since we have always done something on the 28th of each month to at least acknowledge it. So I may have mentioned that Jason got me a beautiful diamond/silver necklace as an early Hanukkah present which he gave me on Saturday. Based on that, I figured that the engagement was another month or so away and I was cool with it. He is a tricky one.
So last night we went out to the karaoke bar like we always do. I was tired and sort of cranky and wanted to leave around 11:20 or so...but somehow or another he got us to stay until nearly 12. I had no idea he was stalling. So we finally get home adn we're both getting ready for bed, getting ready for the next day and so on. Jason calls to me from the bedroom "What time is it?" So I check the clock and tell him "It's 5 after 12." Well that made it officially the 28th. (aha!) So I finish up in the living room and am coming into the bedroom to go to bed and there he is on bended knee holding out the ring box. I was in shock. He asked me to marry him and I gues that somewhere in between "Oh my god" and "What did you do?" I said yes. It was a total and complete surprise and I kept waking up last night to look at the dresser to see if the box was still there..I almost couldn't believe it actually happened. So we called my folks...it was 3 am their time. But my dad took advantage of the time difference and by the time I woke up this morning he had sent out a mass email to all of his friends and family...which was nice.

The ring is gorgeous...actually he gave me the setting I had picked out. We are resetting my Grandmother's diamond from her engagement ring, so tomorrow night we are going to the jeweler's to have the ring set and sized. It is an 18k white gold 3-stone ring with a 4-prong setting. The way the ring is set now it is a round stone in a square setting and I want to recreate that as much as possible.

Thank you all again for your well wishes and support...any more questions? LOL

Hey all,

Its been quite a while since i've posted, and during that time i've had an absolute **** of a time.
I fell off my diet, i stopped going to the gym, one of my birds died and my lizard died too :/
I let my depression over my weight get the better of me but im ready to try again.. a different avenue this time.
My doctor recommended that i go on optifast a few months ago, so i bought 2 boxes and ive got them sitting on my desk, ready to start tonight for my dinner.

Does anyone here have any experience with optifast?
I did try it last year but after two days of hungerpains i gave up
But on new recommendations im going to try it again and im going to stick to it even if i feel like im dying.


-Stefanie

One more thing, i just need to have a little rant here. so stop reading if you dont want to read my rant.

People that say they understand how you feel (ie depressed, lethargic) and then back it up by saying "I used to be fat" and proceed to show pictures of them at their heaviest (size 14) really drive me mad.

Today i saw my job network member (a person helping me find a new job) and she gave me the whole "you only have one chance to make a good impression" and that most employers will choose a thin person over a fat person even if said fat person is better qualified for the job... it made me feel this - - big, i left almost in tears because many things she had said did hit home, but now im quite angry over it because when it comes to work, unless my work hindered by my weight ( in the industry i work i'm not) it should not even come up as an issue.

anyway, if you're still reading, I apologize for the length of this entry but yeah *shrug* i had to get it off my chest...

No probs with the rant, Stephanie, if it helps you that's fine. I feel that this person, though telling the truth could have phrased it a bit better,"people who dress more smartly get the job" or something less personal. As a fat woman I see this all of the time, it makes my blood boil, but, hey, who wants to work for a company where looks are more important than brains/experience? I don't!!!!
I haven't heard of this weight loss method but if your doc. reccomends it it must be worth a try.

I have my presentation at college today, (Aiden is now well enough to go to the creche) not too worried about it though. Julee ceee CONGRATS!!

I am not doing so well diet-wise, I keep worrying about the op & if it will affect our move to NZ, if its's cancer will they let us in, or will the medical bit say no, it's too much of a drain on our resources? I am walking today so hopefully it will lift my spirits up a bit. Gin and tonics AND chocolate ARE NOT THE ANSWER! even if they help me feel nice for 10 mins!!
bye for now,
sharon

Well, today is my 38th birthday and lots to think about. I can either greet ages 48 and 58 at 300+ pounds and unable to walk or in a wheelchair, OR I can meet those ages smaller, healthier and more active. This is where my mind is today. I'm going to keep that as my focus. It is up to me what I do with the next 10 days, or the next 10 years.

Last year, I had a goal to lose 4.5 pounds a month in one year. I have actually gained and lost the same 20 pounds several times this past year. I have wasted another year. No more wasting time, girls! I've got to get down to business!!! That's why I came back here -- so I could stay motivated.

My birthday present to myself is to get it in gear and strive for health. I figure that if I eat right and exercise, the success is bound to follow (even if it's down the road a ways). Catherine has taught me a lot about perseverance. She is a great role model for us all.

Thanks for being here for me. I might need you guys to light a fire under me, but it's nice to know you're here.

(Now if I can just stretch out my enthusiasm over the next year!)

Dogpal: I'm so sorry about your brother. I hope you will have peace in your heart.

Brandnewme: I don't blame you for not taking the pills. I have to take them to keep my bleeding under control (from the PCOS), but they do cause weight gain and they also cause depression and anxiety (which I have to take other medication to control). It is a downward spiral of one problem leading to another to another. I think you're doing the right thing, especially if you want to make a healthy baby.

Boeh: Congratulations on your baby news. Just be sensible and you should do fine! Do what's best for both of you! You know in your gut what that is. Trust your instincts.

Swallowedup: I know you feel bad, but let me tell you that the people on this forum are some of the brightest, wittiest, nicest, kindest, most wonderful people I have ever come across in my life. We might be big, but we also are big, wonderful packages. No one here has anything to be ashamed of at all! We are still trying so that's something too. Don't ever discount yourself because of your size. I know a lot of skinny people who are a**holes. We're just as good as anyone else, if not better because we have dealt with a lot more in life than most people. Chin up! Think this: "I'm better than that."

Hello all - one last post (probably) before I hit the road tonight.

Adasiyan - Welcome back. It makes sucha huge difference, to me anyway, wo know I can come here to share the successes, challanges and set backs that we all face. I'm so sorry that the conversation with the job worker was so painful and angering. I don't know the spirit in which she said it, but it is true, people want to hire thinner employees, regardless of qualifications. I had a great phone interview once and my experience was perfect for what they were looking for, but when i walked well dressed into the interview I knew pretty quickly that it was pointless - he was just going through the motions as soon as he saw my size. It's wrong, it's painful... and it's too often true... but NOT always! I know that everyone here can beat this weight thing. We can show them what we have inside, our skills, our talents, our heart. We're going to to show the turds! ...I'm taking my masters in HR right now, so at least I won't BE one of those turds!

Bill's calling - got to go pick up the truck at the truck doctor. Then off to Kentucky tonight and on to Wyoming tomorrow... oh, the snow =(

I'll check in when I can, and I'll do the very best I can to eat right, make my exer-goal and do you gals proud! Promise!
-Valerie

Hello All,

Well I just couldn't do it today, I couldn't bring myself to exercise. But my goal is supposed to be 11 minutes (one mile) of Walk Away the Pounds, 5 days a week. So I can always do two lots tomorrow, or even exercise on the weekend before the kids get up. All is not lost yet. Diet wise, although I am still sticking to the honey and lemon drinks I am not doing too bad. With this cold I am either not wanting to eat at all, or I am starving. I guess it all balances out. But enough about me -

Julee - aww isn't your FIANCE a sweety, he really did surprise you didn't he!! I was smiling from ear to ear when I read how he proposed, and about you ringing your dad and how he sent out an email to everybody. He is one proud daddy isn't he. I love your idea for the engagement ring. I have a solitaire, it's a round stone but in a square setting. It's really pretty, so I can just imagine how gorgeous yours will be when it's done, and so sentimental too. I hope you take a picture of it to show us

Christine - oh that sucks big time having your sleep study cancelled and nobody actually told you until you turned up for it. How very frustrating. I just hope that they can reschedule it sooner rather than later.

Valerie - wow you really do love Christmas don't you. I am surprised a live tree lasts that long anyway In all honesty if I was living in my big house, my ex marital home, I would be tempted to leave my stuff up a bit longer too, but in this house you kind of look forward to it coming down. Although it's gorgeous, it's also very claustrophobic because the living room is so tiny. Well the whole house is tiny. So when everything comes down there is a contented sigh from me when I see the place looking bigger I am glad you will be getting a tree this year, and I reckon that you should dig out those crystal ornaments, nothing like the real old fashioned good quality ones. I have some old wooden ornaments which I couldn't use last year because of the theme of the tree. But they are safe ready for when I can persuade Daren that green trees are best I also have a gorgeous angel with a porcelain face. She is stunning, but alas she got relegated last year for a big silver star Never fear, she will have a comeback though

Take care back on the road, I hope the roads won't be too awful in the snow. Check in when you can, and until then know that we will be thinking of you

Stefanie - you know the best part about this place, we are a group of people who DO know what you are going through, what it feels to be fat and suffer depression. As a whole we have been through divorces, rough family lives, illnesses and we all are or were over 300 lbs. I know it's not nice to come across the kind of people you mentioned who think being fat is like being a size 14, but try to ignore them. Come here, talk to us, we know how you are feeling we really do. Personally I have depression and health issues and am still over 300 lbs. I love this place and the people here, they are one of the main reasons I don't give up on myself and getting this weight off.

Good for you for making the committment to try again. I haven't heard of the diet you are going to try. Is it a liquid diet type thing? Perhaps you could use that as a kick start to getting the lbs off, and then try to eat ordinary food but in lesser portions. I think a liquid diet will always feel like you are missing out on something, which is why I could never last on one. I did try Slim Fast shakes when it was only them and not meals that they did. I didn't last a week. I hope you do really well on the Optifast though and that you don't find yourself starving on it like before.

Sharon - OK MSN is on and working, waiting to hear from you. I hope your presentation went well at college and look forward to hearing all about it.

As for your worry about your health and getting into NZ, didn't you say that they are far less strict than Australian Immigration? Also if hubby's work experience is something they are looking for then I think they will look at what good he can do for the country rather than what your health can take from the resources over there. Besides, I refuse to believe that they will find any cancer when you have your operation, so they will just do what they need to, and you will be fine. Think positive!!!

Tashabelle - happy birthday. I think you have given yourself the greatest gift, promising yourself that you won't see your 48th and 58th birthdays in a wheel chair and over 300 lbs. I am like you, I can lose 20 or 30 lbs about 6 times a year, but it's the same 20 or 30 lbs I lose and then I put some more on as well. When I had my 37th birthday in July I too felt like you do. Thinking of all the time wasted over the years trying to lose weight unsuccessfully. So now I have to stay committed. We can do this, we really can.

Ok well I have to go now, I need to answer some emails. Everybody take care and bye for now,

Hugs,

Ammi

Julee- Congratulations!! I know how excited you must be. My own feet haven’t hit the floor since.

Dogpal- I’m so sorry about your brother. I lost a nephew to addictions. You’re always at a loss as to how to help. At least his burden has now been lifted even as it weighs heavily on you and your family.

Swallowed- I’ve never fit anywhere in my life, but I fit here, and you will too.

Tasha- I was in a wheelchair on my 38th birthday, but won’t be on my 48th, so I understand exactly what you are feeling. I figure that it is going to take me at least another 4 years to reach goal, and I’ve been doing this 4 years this week. I’m going to be 4 years older in any case, and I can be 47 and fit, or 47 and miserable, or worse yet, not even see my 47th birthday. I try very hard not to get high or excited about dieting. I can’t afford to have a “tent revival” mentality that might burn itself out. I have to take life slow and steady, a day at a time. I treat eating like something ordinary and boring, and I treat exercise like my life depends on it, and go as hard as I can for as long as I can without hurting myself.

@ Stefanie, No worries with the rant, we all do that... welcome back!

Hello everyone.... I am going on holiday in 34 hours! I am off to the snow of Stockholm, Sweden for 5 days... I can't wait, so I wish you all a fun filled days while I am away!

Hi Everyone,

The funeral was yesterday and Deb held up as well as to be expected. Dear Dan had at least 30 cars in the procession - God love him - it was SO cold at the cemetery - he was buried at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery for Veterans and it was a beautiful military ceremony -

I am so sick with a bladder infection - I'm actually bleeding and it scares me because my lower back is killing me too along with a fever Called my MD and they called the pharmacy and we waited until 6:00 and they hadn't filled it yet - then they claimed they never got a call - so I called my cousin the ER doc, and he called the pharmacy immediately - All of a sudden the pharmacy had TWO scripts - imagine that -

Thanks for all of you who were asking about me - I haven't been reading, but been thinking of all of you just the same - hope you are all well!

And Dogpal, I'm so sorry about your brother -

Take care everyone~~~~

I don't have time for a long post (and so many things have happened to people!!)

Just a quick reminder -- Dec 1 is coming -- have you set a monthly exercise goal??

Don't worry if you haven't started yet -- neither has December! If you're interested, get yourself over to the exercise thread and post a minutes/month goal of whatever exercise you like!

And if you had trouble starting this week -- it's okay -- December hasn't started!!

As for me, I will have to try to finish my November goal tomorrow (isn't that what the last minute is for??!).

AND, AND -- I made my first mini-goal weight of 250 yesterday! 45 pounds gone! I set my first goal at 250 because this is where I started off the LAST time I got healthy and lost weight, back in 1998 I think. Man, back then 250 seemed much bigger than it does now!! Funny thing, perspective.

I'll get back to regular postings soon -- hopefully tomorrow!

wyllen--that is AWESOME that you reached 250 That's my next major goal. Gotta get below 270 first, though, so I'm working on doing that within the next week or so.

As for me, I peeked at the scale this morning, and it said 273.5 The TOPS scale is always lower than my home scale, so at my last TOPS meeting, my home scale said 274 when the TOPS scale said 270. Obviously, I choose to use the TOPS scale as my official weight But that means that I am back down to normal after the disasterous holiday weekend. When I weighed Monday morning, it actually said 278 So I am quite relieved and not so afraid to go to my TOPS meeting tomorrow night

I wish I could take a vacation in Sweden!!

It's a Christmas miracle!

I lost two pounds!

(Thanks, everyone, for supporting me!!!! The needle is moving in the right direction!)

Hi Everybody~~

How are you all doing today? I'm feeling so good about myself right now--I'm officially in a new "decade"--I weighed in at 279.8 lbs. this morning so the 280's are (hopefully) behind me for good. I weigh myself every morning to keep myself accountable for what I eat and do. Now--if I would just go back to the gym my life would be perfect. I'm doing really well with my eating, but there's been so much going on here that I haven't been able to go in the mornings and to be honest--if I don't go in the morning then I'm not going to go at all. I just have so much to do at night that I can't get there.

How exciting all of this wonderful news is. Julee getting engaged, Tashabella down 2 more lbs. , Jill's home scale news , Wyllenn reaching her 250 lb. goa --my goodness there is just so much wonderful news! I am so excited for us as a bunch.

Dogpal-- I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. Even though you weren't close, he was still your brother and it hurts. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Swallowedup-- I'm glad that you're here. We're a nice group of people--if I do say so myself -- and we're always happy to meet new friends. I so totally admire you for having the courage to come here and do something about your weight now. I wish that I had done something when I was your age. Believe me, I understand how you feel and as long as you don't give up on yourself you will always have the people here to believe in you and to help support you. Honestly--if I can lose all of the weight that I've lost so far, then I KNOW that you can do it too. Remember to just come here when you're feeling a little less strong and we can either kick you in the behind to wake you up, or we can give you a big hug to let you know that it'll be okay. We ALL mess up and it's okay. Just don't forget that and you keep on trying.

Christine--that is so rude that they didn't call you to tell you about cancelling the sleep lab. It's not like it was a 10 minute drive for you. Hopefully everything will be okay next time.

Stephanie-- it's good that you came back since that's what this site is for, right? I felt so bad when I read what that women said. It sounds like someone's Mama didn't teach them some manners and she needs a bop on the head. Like looking for a new job isn't hard enough or stressful enough without people being jerks! Good luck with the Optifast and keep coming back.

Valerie-- We used to throw our trees out late too. You made me laugh.

Hi Ammi--I haven't been on MSN which is why you haven't seen me. Sorry you're not feeling well.

I have to go. I'll try to come back later because I wanted to say more.

Vicki

Hello Ladies!

Gosh, I know so few of you these days I almost feel odd posting. But just the same, I thought just had to drop in!

Julee!!! Congratulations!!! SO much more romantic than my apple-pie story! I'm sure the ring is lovely. You must post a photo of it! I'm very happy for you...I know how much you've been looking forward to really being engaged!

Jilly and Tashabella and Wyllenn and Vicki and all you other "losers": Always good to hear successes!

Dogpal: I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. My brother and I are not really close, but I can imagine how awful it is for you nonetheless. Take care. You are in my thoughts.

Mom2five: Please accept my sympathies as well. So much sad news so close to the holidays. Take care of yourself and get better soon.

Catherine: Can't wait to see those wedding dress photos! Everyone looks good in a wedding gown and I bet you'll be stunning!

Stephanie: I personally could never do a liquid diet. To me a beverage is something you drink with a meal...it isn't a meal itself. But I do hear that some people have success with it. I wish you luck. Don't get down about the job search...keep trying and something will happen for you.

Valerie: The Old Hens have been paging you! We thought you might already be gone...you need a laptop and wireless internet lady so you can keep in touch on the road!

I know I have to pick and choose who to respond to these days...I just can't keep up! But I do hope all you ladies and staying OP and feeling good! Take care!