Sharal, do you measure and weigh your portions? I ask because I used to eyeball mine and my weight loss results were less than spectacular. Once I started using fitday.com and logging every morsel, and I do mean every, single morsel, of food that I put in my mouth it turned out that I was consuming more calories than I thought. I bought an inexpensive kitchen scale and always use measuring cups and spoons (leveled off, of course!) when serving myself. I've lost weight steadily ever since.

Well, as for the people who get nasty comments, I can empathize and sympathize: people are terrible to me about my weight, even though i am only "chunky".... oh youth is a blessing

Still chuckling about the line "What?! I'm fat?! Oh my God, when did that happen?!"
I have used the line - 'I'm not pregnant, that's just ice rcream" before...but i like the above better...
kudos to Jawsmom for being the bigger person - no pun intended. We all need a little reminder to be nice sometimes.

chick-in-the-hat.....

I love your little Woody Allen quote..."I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

Hey Sharal ... thanks for responding about the testing. Interesting but puzzling, yes?
There's a forum for calories counters under general diet plans I think. Come on over and have a read. It's amazing how different people have to tweak plans to make them work.

Jawsmom's posts (both of them!) were very good advice. How sure are you about the quantities that you are really eating?

I started my weightloss journey at about the same poundage and fitness level as you, and for the same reasons. I was scared to death of the possiblility of diabetes. At 180 pounds, I played tennis, ran, swam, lifted weights (but not the way I do now) but I was also fat.

I'm pretty sure I averaged 1000-1200 calories a day while I was losing the first 45 pounds. I've had the metabolic testing, too, and I would gain on what I'm supposed to be able to maintain on. How old are you? That is a huge factor. I find I can lose slowly at 1400 calories now (at 120 pounds) even though calculators say that based on my activity level I should be able to consume at least 500 calories more and still lose.

I'd look at your exercises too. If you've been doing a lot of cardio, try adding some heavy lifting. Change the composition of your body and force it to burn more fuel.

Well, it's good to know that I'm not the only one struggling even though I get plenty of exercise.

Thank you to everyone for the advice. My body fat % is 33% when I was measured two months ago. I am very sure about my portions. More than 18 months ago when I started with my nutritionist she put me on an eating plan that's close to what my diabetic mom follows. Back then I learned to weigh my proteins and figure out my starch portions. Now I can eyeball them (once in a while I check myself just to be sure!).

Mel, I'm 33 so hopefully age isn't a factor! I do a lot of cardio but weights too as well as body-weight exercises which I find much harder and more exhausting than just plain weight-lifting!

My muscle mass / strength is pretty good, I think, although I have nothing really to compare to since I work out at home. I'm guessing at this - my husband is one of those disgustingly fit people who can eat anything and he lifts weights all the time. One day he came home early and found me lifting weights. He looked shocked at how much I could squat. Later on I caught him checking the weight plates, guess he didn't want to offend me by doing it right in front of me.

I can't count on one hand the number of people that have asked me when I'm due - I carry my weight in my stomach and middle part and have thinner arms and legs - the first time, I was 20 and newly married and a guy at the CA state fair running a ride pulled my hubby aside and told them pregnant women couldn't ride that particular ride . . . hubby came back but didn't say a word . . . I kept hounding him until he finally told me what the guy said to him. The last time it happened was about a year ago. When I told my husband he said to tell the next person who asked me that "yeah, I was pregnant with twins and one didn't come out and that my baby is nine years old".

I had a hysterectomy in December and I'm DREADING the next person who asks - especially since I am one of the lucky ones who has the "swelly belly" and it can still expand four more inches without any weight gain. I'm actually surprised that no one has yet.

This past wrestling season for the younger kids, I received a letter in the mail from one of the moms - I have no idea who it is (well kinda but not for sure) - I only know a couple of the moms by name mind you and there is no way a "friend" of mine would do such a thing:

"Dear Rochell:

I wanted to bring this to your attention as an anonymous friend.
I saw last weekend at the wrestling tournament and wanted to pass on to you what some of us gals thought about one of your outfits.
The bib overalls do not flatter your figure whatsoever. They only accentuate your large tummy. We heard some very cruel remarks from some of the men, so just thought you might want to know what is being said behind your back.
Please don't take this the wrong way, we just wanted you to know that those bibs are not the most flattering thing to wear.

Friends"

People can just be NASTY. Nevermind that I had to wear elastic waist or bibs as I couldn't stand anything tight around my stomach for months and months after surgery. I can just imagine what they will say to me this next season since I'm not losing weight.

Rachelle

I am fortunate enough to never have had anyone ask when I am due. I have also not had anyone make very blatantly rude comments to me in public. However, if they did, I would DEFINITELY retort with a sarcastic or like-minded response, and this is for 2 reasons:

1. they deserve to feel as humiliated as they have made me feel so that maybe next time, they will remember how they felt and will keep their mouth shut
2. if they are not embarassed to make a rude comment to a stranger in public, then they probably won't be very uncomfortable if you respond in a kind way--you would merely be reinforcing the fact that they made a correct observation and did nothing wrong

Maybe that makes me "stoop to their level," but people who are already down at that level don't understand anything at a higher level

My comebacks for rude people:

"When are you due?" In about 4 years (at the time that was when we were planning on having children) The person asking was so embarrassed that she apologized and walked away. Or 'why do you think I'm pregnant? Do I look pregnant? Can't you tell the difference between fat and pregnant?' (bad day)

"You'd look so much better if you lost the weight." 'At least I can lose the weight, with your rude mouth- I'm not surprised you have to resort to talking to strangers. Do you have any friends?' (I was in bad mood that day. Usually I can't think of comebacks until after the person has left)

My old aunt's favorite saying, "You won't get yourself a man if you look the way you do." Well, if the man is so petty he can't see me for me then I'm glad he won't want me if I'm overweight.

I was giving directions to a hefty trucker at work serveral years ago and I mentioned that the town was small so he shouldn't have any problems finding what he was looking for. He turned around and said, "Well, you're definately not small." Well, since he was a trucker I sort of let out all the blue language I had and told him off completely about how rude he as and he was being inappropriate the comment was and then closed it with "have you looked in the mirror lately a&&h&&&&" He was actually backing away from me by the time I finished. It felt really good to lay into him. A few of the big guys I worked with were nearby watching out for me.

But most of the time I either ignore them or say politely "thank you" and quietly steam and stew or be upset with myself for getting so fat in the first place and try to hold back the urge to eat a bowl of cool whip and pudding.

It is amazing the things complete strangers feel they can say because they are wanting to help in their own sad sort of way (except the trucker-he was just being a jerk.)

So work on the looking down at people look, you know the condensending, "Are you talking to me?" look. As if the person is a horribly ugly bug that you wish you could stomp. If you wear glasses it works if you sort of tip your head and look at them over your glasses.

We are cursed with a few rude people everywhere you turn. Even if you were tiny, someone would still have something to say. It makes you appreciate the nice people even more.

Know that you are on the right track. You are healthy and are getting healthier with all the changes you are making.

Keep up the good work!
Sarah

My advice is to hang out here at 3FC more often, because it's truly one of the most supportive environments I've ever found .

I was at my cousin's wedding about 5 years ago and my aunt (mother of the bride) looked at me and said "Kate, I just love your Mu-mu (sp.?)." "Mu-mu" as in one of those tent-type dresses. And it was just regular dress from LL Bean...in a size 18. She said this in front of my Mom and all my cousins. I'll never forget it. And sadly, I don't think I'll ever forgive it.

But one of the most important things I've learned during this journey is that it's 100% for you. It's not about any of "those people" who think nothing of hurting someone else. And as a very wise person I know once said: "When people say something hurtful, that's information about them." Think about what it must take for a person to say something hurtful to someone else -- especially a stranger (like in so many cases on this thread). Think how angry or pained or messed up these people must be. It's actually kinda sad.

I'm a big believer in karma...it will all come back and bite them in the butt eventually.

Hehehe

I remember, about 5 years ago, I had to go to a neurologist. I had hit my head REALLY REALLY hard on a ride at the board walk and started having bad headaches...ended up having to see a neurologist and have an MRI done. Long story. But anyway, when I went to see the woman (doctor), ( my mother was with me ) all she could talk about was my weight. Asked me if my brother ever teased me about my weight, etc. I kept my mouth shut (I wasn't as "open" as I am now), but I was like, "What the **** does this have to do with my HEAD??" I swear, peope are so ignorant!
I remember another time, when I was at my cousin's house (the same cousin with the rude fiance from my last post). I had lost about 50 lbs. before going into high school, but then slowly gained it back. She had one of her guy friends over, whom I hadn't seen since I was thin. He walks in the house, looks at me and says, "Wow, you got big!" I had some choice words for him.

I love my mother-in-law-to-be to death, but she didn't even tell my fiance that I was a beautiful girl until AFTER I had lost weight!!

I agree with JILLYBEAN though...Forget keeping my mouth shut or being the "better" person. If someone insults me, I'm going to insult them right back. There's no way that I'm going to let some stranger or even someone I know get nasty with me.

cemetarysiren25.........................jill,

You go girl (s)!!!!!! I would be (I am) the same way.

However, I do have to say this... my husband HATES it most of the time. It says he finds it very emberrising! He is not one to open his mouth! He is the lover and I am the fighter haha. But, being the person standing next to me when something like this happens, he says it is very embarresing when I respond back to the person. But you know what... I would rather give some lip then have a bad day!

Kate.... that is very true too! I hear that often. I just wish I could make that bite come back around and be there to see it.

Yes.. I am italian. lol

Hehehe My fiance thinks it's great that I know how to open my mouth! He knows that if someone pisses me off, they had better watch out! LOL Thing is, he's the same way, so it's difficult when we get into an argument (which isn't often!). If someone says something that he knows is going to stir something up in me, he usually will say, "Uh oh, watch out!" LOL Or, he'll tell me to "get 'em". Hehehe