Cherie, I am so so sorry. I agree with Angie, this is not fair that you have to through this. I feel so bad for you and the girls and Steven. I will continue to pray for you honey.

Cherie, there simply are no words to express how much we all feel for you. You and your children have a lot of difficult days ahead and you need all the strength and support you can get. If there is anything at all I can do during this time do not hesitate. I'm thinking of you and I'm praying for you right along with everyone.

Hello. Well, I kinda fell off the wagon and then I ate it. I did so well for 4 days last week. I am not giving up though. I just have to retry. I am taking the girls school shopping tomorrow so that should be fun. NOT! It is not fun shopping with a teen girl.

Well, I gave Clyde her cake. She liked it and was surprised that we threw her a little party. I will email pics to you guys later because I am sure I cant post the pic on here. If Dips or Cherie want to see the cake just pm me your email and I will send it to you. I just wanted to warn you Julie where you have little kids not to open it in front of them.

Well, I just wanted to check in and confess.

Hey girls another weekend winding down....

Angie can't wait to see those pics of that cake. I will be sure not to open them with the kiddos around . I love that you are not giving up. You go girl and get right back on the wagon. I will be chasing it and jumping on to it with you . I have not been eating to great, okay not good at all this weekend. My boy starts school on the first and my daughter starts pre-school on the sixth. Have fun shopping tomorrow. I have to go out and get school supplies too.

Well going to get off of here for the night. I will check in tomorrow. It has been a busy weekend. We went to a church picnic today and just roasted in was so hot. But it was fun, the kids played some games and we did some shopping too this weekend. Okay going to round up the babes for bathtime.
Hi Angie, Noelle, Cherie, Dips, Kempy and Cal.

I will continue to pray for your family Cherie. You are in my thoughts.

He died at 10:30 tonight. How am I going to tell my girls? I am so sad.

Kempy... thank you for the wonderful book. I didn't realize I had a package at the manager's office til yesterday. It really made my day.

I'm going to bed now to cry... Its just not fair.

Cherie, I am so sorry....I pray to God to be by your side at this time for you and the girls. It is not fair that the girls lost their dad and it just is not fair a young man gets sick. I wish I could find the words to comfort you at this time. Please know that we love you here, and are here for you in any
way we can help. Love, Julie

Cherie, I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you are feeling right now. I am praying for you as well, to give you and your girls strength and comfort. That is so very sad to lose someone so young. I wish I could reach out and hug you and your girls right now. Let us know if we can help you out in any way, really.

Oh my god Cherie, I am so sorry. {{{{hugs}}}} I am praying for you,the girls,Steven and his family. I agree this is so unfair and sad. Please, please, please let us all know if we can help in anyway. We love you.

Gosh Cherie, I wish I knew the right word to say but there really aren't any when this happens. I know from experience. When I read your post it brought up lots of emotions that I have about my dad. I am offereing you my support with the girls. ia m not a therapist or anything but I was about 11 when my dad got sick and 13 when he died. I know your two are younger then that but I will help in any way that I can. WE ALL LOVE YOU HERE AND ARE WITH YOU!!!!!

I hope you like the book.

I didn't get a chance to post b/c I was shampooing carpets yesterday. I was almost done with the three rooms that I needed to do when I realized that the machine wasn't using the shampoo, I was just running water through the carpets. So, I had to re-do all of the rooms. I shampooed carpets for 5 hours yesterday and I only have three rooms with carpet. I was beat once I was finished. Joe and I popped in a movie to relax. We watched Hitch. All I can say is that I was in tears I was laughing so hard. I gave it to my neighbors tonight I just know they will love it.

Anige I know that you will be ok even if you slipped. You need to have a cheat day so just count that as one. I have not been OP in so long I think I forget how to eat. What sucks is that we leave for vacation soon and I am still the way that I didn't want to be. Oh well, Joe loves me for me.

I need to run get the rooms set back up. I wanted to make sure they were completly dry. I didn't want to run the chance of ruining the carpet or the furniture. I'll pop on a little later.

Cherie, I am so sorry for your loss. Like Kempy, the news suddenly brought up lots of memories. Please know my prayers are with you and your girls, as well as Steven and his family.

Cal

Last night, through a joint effort, I got the girls back. My brother met my best friend Deronda at Ft. Smith at 8 PM... and she picked them up and met me halfway in Henryetta. My friend, and the one from Houston that has always helped me out with the girls (she started out as Steven's coworker at Enron and I didn't even know her, and she took the girls when he was first dignoised) drove up from Houston yesterday, and then drove me to Henryetta once she got here. I got the girls. They are so beautiful. I was so happy to see them, yet so not ready either. I had knots in my stomach all evening.

Hannah and Megan wanted me to ride in the back of the van with them, they had really missed me, so we all three too the back seat, and because it was so late.. they ended up falling asleep on me.

We finally got home, and I got them in my bed. (their room is all packed up and you can't even get into it.) and Megan fell straight asleep. Hannah was awake however and I asked her if we could talk. I crawled into bed between her and Megan and told her how much I loved her and that I would be here for her. The I said, do you remember how sick your daddy was and how much pain he was in? And she got real quiet and looked me in the eyes, and as much as I 7 year old could understand, she knew. Tears welled up in both our eyes, and I told her, well, her daddy was no longer in any pain. And just said, he died last night. She stayed quiet and finally said, I knew this was going to happen. Between our tears I kept talking to her and the few comments she made just broke my heart. She's upset that she will never see her daddy alive again and that he will never talk to her again, all she ever wanted was a healthy daddy who could go out and play with her, and that the others better be glad they have healthy daddies.

I told her we would get through this... and that her daddy was up in heaven finally with his mommy and with Hunter and that he was flying through the clouds. I told her he would alway be her guardian angel watching over her.

I haven't told Megan yet.

She cried herself to sleep in my arms last night.

Today, we are going to a viewing of his body, so she can say goodbye. She doesn't understand why we are burning him in fire instead of burying him like everyone else.

I told her that was what he wanted, and that we needed to do what her daddy wanted. I told her he wanted his ashes scattered in the wind so he would be free of the pain again.

Somehow, I think she understood, but I know I will have alot to handle today when she wakes up.

Why does being a mother have to be so hard?

I have to finish packing up my apartment today, and then I have to pack up his apartment. His stuff (furniture) will be moved to my new place. This is going to be such a **** week... I'm hoping soon that things can get back to as normal as possible.

Hannah said last night, I don't want any more bad things to happen. I just had to hug her through my tears and agree.

I did get them registered in their new school yesterday. I spoke with the principal and she was wonderful. She personally will place Hannah in the hands of their best, caring teacher, and she placed Megan in the AM kindergarten class like I had asked. She had the counslor come out and talk with me and they are going to make a special point of taking care of the girls once school starts.

Anyway... today is going to be another tough day.... wish me luck.

Thank you everyone for your kind words.. they really are a comfort.
Anyway.. thanks... I need to get busy this morning.. it's going to be another long day.

Cherie,
I know how difficult this time is for you. That was really great what the principal and counselor did for you. I wanted to let you know, in case you weren't already aware, that you can file for benefits on behalf of your daughters through Social Security. There is a death benefit for minor children and since Steven did work and pay into it, your girls are entitled to that benefit until they graduate from high school. You may also be eligible, but I'm not sure how it works since you are divorced. Look into it as soon as you can for the girls, it will help you financially. I remember that my dad rarely payed child support, but after he died my mom received enough for my brother and sister that she was a stay at home mom for over 10 years. I hope this information helps you.

Cal

Oh Cherie, I wish I could just give you and the girls a big hug....you are such a brave and strong woman. I just can't express how much you are a wonderful loving mom and person. You have two very special beautiful girls. Hannah is such a good girl....both of them are. Today will be a hard day I am sure, I can only imagine. And the rest of the week will be hard like you said. I wish we all could come to see you and help you this week. I will continue to keep you and the girls and my thoughts to make it through this difficult time.

I am glad that the girls will be in such good care with the school this year.

Bless your heart Cherie,

Julie