Ran into someone at the Y today that I hadn't seen in over a year. People never really say things to my face about my weight loss. I have always tried to maintain a quiet, dignified face even when I was the size of a volvo. Well he waited until I had gone into the locker room, and grabbed my roommate (who is shorter than I am and now has trouble keeping up with me when I am going at full stride), and asked how much I had lost. He was in shock. I told her that at least he and his wife would have something interesting to talk about over the dinner table. It is interesting to be the subject of gossip for something good for a change.
Wishing is hard for me. I have always been afraid to wish for something. I have either been afraid that I didn't really deserve to get what I have been wishing for, or that I'd wish for something out of my reach, and be crushed when it didn't happen. It is different to be able to wish for things simpler and more attainable. My last big wish was to be able to buy underwear off the shelf at Walmart. Man did that feel good. I guess my next mini-wish is to be able to ride a bicycle again and be able weigh on the scales at my doctor's office. Both can happen when I lose my next 20 pounds. I'm also thinking of going to a real beauty parlor. My mother was a beautician. I have a lot of raw issues with her and my hair. I didn't go to another beautician until I was 26 or so. Of course I eventually got too big for the chair and started cutting my own hair. I may be ready to pay for a hair cut again. I remember when I had big pie-in-the-sky goals. Just wanting to get a hair cut like a normal person is such a small goal, but it will feel like a homerun. I'm also thinking about having a current photo taken. How scary is that? Maybe if I saw a picture of myself to compare to my "before" picture, I'd really start to understand why people are so shocked when they see me.

Goodevening all,
I see that a lot of you have lost lbs.
(pssst, don't go on vacation and leave your program, or is that brains? behind). Now instead of two lbs. in two weeks I need to lose 6!

). If only my boobs were proportionately big enough for the rest of me, but no, it seems the one thing I actually want to get bigger is the one thing that only gets smaller!
Of course, I know I actually am very fat...but I usually don't feel that way. The problem is, in large part, that I weighed at home today and the scale said 295! Last time I weighed first thing in the morning it said 289.5...
Of course, it isn't the official weight, which will be tomorrow at the Dr. office. But still.....I'll be shocked down to my toes if I break even tomorrow.
and had popcorn
(although not much, because we ate so much at dinner!) I haven't been getting my water in either. And I haven't exercised.
Of course, I never exercise...but I suspect I'm either perfect food and water-wise or I exercise, but if I do neither, that's a BAD THING.
when I've screwed up...and not have people judge me for it!