Hey there,

Yeah $3 an hour sucks and that's for 2 of them. Plus from that I will have to take out 1/3 for taxes, so that brings it to $2 and hour and I provide ALL meals and snacks from that money. I also do crafts and learning activities with them, mostly b/c I don't want my daughter to miss out on that kind of stuff b/c I stay home with her. So all the money I spend on that adds up. But I will be able to write the food, toys, crafts and such that I buy off on my taxes so I should get a lot of it back in the end, still even if it adds back up to $3 an hour it still sucks.

My neighbor has her son in daycare and pays $100 a week (I think)and must provide his food to the daycare. If her second child goes I think she will be paying $180-$200 a week, plus she will have to send two lunches. That's why when thier last babysitter moved to town she quit watching them b/c she went to McD's and makes $6 an hour. I don't think she had the problems with him that I do b/c 1)her kids were older and in school so it was just the two most of the time and this boy was the youngest so he got spoiled 2) she let them sit in front of the TV ALL day. I don't turn on the tv except for teh 4 year old at nap time if she has been well behaved in the morning. And that's b/c she doesn't nap. If she's not good or actually falls asleep my tv isn't on until I watch Oprah and Dr. Phil at 4 and 5. For me the drive to town wouldn't be worth min wage. I do feel bad for these kids b/c I know at home they have a pretty chaotic life. I know they kind of get left to thier own devices alot. I also think that happened at teh sitters too. The 4 year old girl will be 5 in October and cannot count, color in the lines, does not know, shapes, animals sounds, she can't write her name, she mixes up her colors. Since she has been here she has picked up several colors and animal sounds, knows that her name starts with T recognizes A and B. I know she is capable of learning these things, it's just nobody has ever taught her. My mother in law had the two older boys in school and she told her collegues that I know have the younger ones and they are all praying I help them before they get to school b/c the two older ones were hellions. I am not sure however if the little boy is just behind b/c of lack of teaching or if he has a learning disability.

Well I blew yesterday too. I was good all day and just snacked my waythrough the evening. DH took DD outside and to Gramma's for a while and DS slept for about 40 minutes so I got a rest then. I really had wanted to get up and walk but 5 am just came too early. I am hoping the weather gets better and my neighbor feels up to walking in the evenings. She's 3 months preg, so we'll see.

Jen- I'm glad to hear you husband might be coming around. I hope you get the chance to get stuff on your list done.

~misty

My goodness, Misty. I'm sure your doing more good for those children than anyone else, but you really should be getting a little more money. Are you concerned they wouldn't be able to afford it?

Jen, I hope your DH is having another better day. It does take a while for that stuff to kick in.

I'm going back and forth on the car. It seems like too good a deal to pass up, but I don't know if that's a good enough reason to buy it. Plus, my car is getting 35+ MPG, and we'd take quite a hit this summer with gas prices so high.

Okay, DS is awake. Gotta go.

Tracy, maybe you can make a list of the pros and cons of buying a different car. Take into considerartion the maintanace costs of each vehicle. I am sure the people you are buying from will tell you if they have had to replace anything in it. My husbands 2000 sonoma has had the upper and lower ball joints replaced at least 4 times, a problem with that particular vehicle. We have life time warrenty on those parts now since we paid for them the first time, but you have to pay for labor about $75 to $100 a pop. Maybe talk to anyone else you know who owns one, theya re new enough maybe thier issues aren't prevalient yet.

Does the new car come with any warrenty left? For us after buying DH's truck that's a big selling point. We've probably had $8,000 (a rough guess) in work done that was covered by the warrenty, not to mention everything that has been done since. Plus my tracker is a 2001, and the entire four wheel drive thing went and something with the axle, about $3,000 in warrenty covered work on a vehicle that was at the time only 2 years old. Newer doesn't always mean better.

Does either car of have very old or very new tires (a hefty replacement cost there, though eitehr wya you'll have to replace them eventually). Don't forget insurace decreases and increases, those make a big difference.

Check how the car seats fit, I know in an element you probably won't have a problem but in some cars car seats can be a real problem..ie)mine lol. Also think of latch versus having to put the car setas in the old way. I have read some latch systems make installing MORE difficult. And look how you will use the vehicle. We need ALOT of space. Our tracker for example has a nice rear cargo area where our dog used to sit. It was a big selling point for us, b/c of my job then and the trips we take. With the car seat in a forward facing position the teather stretches form the top of the back seat to where the rear "trunk" door is (there are retangular tie down looking things just inside the edge of the door), so now you have a diagonal strap greatly slashing the amount of space back there. When we turn our son around we will be able to move our seat back so we can drive, but we'll lose ALOT of rear storage cargo space with that second strap going back, no more trips with the dog, even groceries will be difficult to load. If you are looking for that cargo room in the element you may not get it b/c of the car seat teather, so then would it be worth the change? Those are just a few ideas.

have a good day. I should go get some work done.
~misty

Well Misty I suppose you know your own business but I wouldn't look after 2 kids like that for $3 an hour. Think how much time you'd have during the day for your own stuff if it weren't for those kids. Really how much money in the long run are you making? Even if you spent more time budgeting so that you were saving that much money by watching your spending in other areas, it would be worth it because you'd have more time for your own family, doing work around the house, exercise, that course you want to do etc. I can see that you feel sorry for the kids and want to help them, who wouldn't? But sometimes you have to think of yourself and your own family first. But I"ll shut up about this now.

Not much new this morning. I"m having a protein shake for breakfast and I"m going to try hard today to stick to my eating plan and get to the gym. Have a great day everyone!

Hey there,

Yeah Jen you are soooo right. I completley agree, but just don't know how or if I can get out of it.

Well I hope your day goes well. I am doing ok so far. Talk to you laters
~misty

Misty - I don't know what the situation is exactly. Have you signed some kind of contract for this job? If not then it is simply a matter of giving the parent sufficient notice that she needs to find another caregiver. Is your financial situation going to suffer that much if you give up looking after these kids or could you work out your budget to cover this income? If you feel that you have to give her an excuse just tell her that you don't have enough time to work on your school course, work on improving the house and meeting your own personal needs. I swear I won't talk about this again. I know it is really easy for me to offer advice when I am not in your shoes but I'm hoping that offering a different perspective might be useful.

Got to the gym yesterday but my eating was the worst!!! It is TOM so I'm going to blame that .

Hey there

Doesn't bother me at all if you talk about it. It's a huge stressor for me and to hear that maybe I'm not just being whiney and selfish really makes me feel better. I feel like I am too lazy to watch them and that's why I hate it. B/c I admit in general I am lazy.

This income isn't counted in our budget at all. I'd like to use it for the fridge we just bought but I don't have to. Mostly, it's spending money, which I would have none if I wasn't watching the kids.

It gives me the sense that if I want to buy a cd, or get the kids some clothes while yard saleing with my friends that I am not dipping into money for bills and such. I don't have to ask permission to use it. I mean I needed new sneakers and we had this big huge go around b/c Josh wanted me to buy Saucony Running shoes and I wanted walking shoes and the walking shoes were cheaper. And he was all annoyed b/c I didn't buy the running shoes, and I was guilt stricken b/c I bought $70 shoes, when I could have gone to walmart and bought $20 (even though I looked at walmart and tehy didn't have my size) and I spent less on them anyway b/c they were cheaper than the ones he thought I should buy. I still feel guilty about it. It's crazy. So now I don't feel too guilty if I go and spend some money on clothes for myself or get my hair cut when it's not coming out of his paycheck. Really my husband doesn't buy himself alot of stuff, but what he does buy tends to be expensive. I bet he's spent $3,000 on flying . The majority of his holiday gifts though have been his fying lessons. So it's not like he gets stuff PLUS gets to fly. Me, I tend to spend $15 or $20 here and there, and it adds up. So this money allows me to do that without dipping into our budgeted money.

I talked to the accountant today about what records I need to keep and such and he told me these people are taking advantage of me. I know they'd have to pay someone else more. I know I could cut costs...I could go to the discount food store and buy them a 39 cent can of spaghetti-o's and feed that to them everyday. That's pretty much what the last sitter fed them. But I don't want my kids eating that crap, and I don't want to cook two meals everyday at lunch, so I feed them healthy balanced lunches. It's stuff I want my kids to eat. And I know I don't have to do craft time with them and I could save alot of money there, just in paper costs. But I like doing stuff like that with my kids and I can't say well you guys sit on the couch while we do craft. And now I feel obligated, I can never say no, or tell people I don't want to help them.

Plus, I like the social interaction it gives my daughter. The four year old is genereally good and since she came I see my daughter picking up alot of new things.


I feel abit of pressure from my husband. He doesn't like me to go out and about anyway. I guess his theory is I wanted to be a STAY at HOME mom, not a go visit friends mom. And why should I get to go see my sister in NC for a couple weeks, when he has to work. Why should I get to go shopping and yard saleing and go visit friends two hours away? So to him my I can't go do what I want argument is just whineing b/c he can't go do what he wants either.

I appreciate your advice. I need this place to express myself, b/c nobody here listens to me. I often tend to blame myself for problems and internalize alot of stuff. So I see my stress as failure on my part. So to even hear that I am not crazy, that indeed I am not getting paid enough, it validates me and makes me feel like I'm not just being whiney and lazy. I know my life could be worse and I know there are those out there for whom it is worse. But if nothing else coming here and just expressing my thoughts is helpful, and if nobody reads my whining then that's ok, b/c at least it's out there. I used to be an artistic expressive person who wrote and drew and had all these ideas. But I'm not anymore. Mostly b/c I am not around those who inspired me and my husband is a practical type who doesn't get what I am saying and gets defensive or argumentative. SO coming here and expressing my frutration is the only place I have. That's why my posts are often so long. So I am really sorry if I come off like I am whining I just need to express something to someone.

~misty

Hello all

Well tomarrow is the last "official" day of boot camp. How is it going for you Tracy? I am disapointed that I did do better. But, I know why it happened, and I am really trying hard to get on track.

Great Job on getting to the gym Jen. I know what you mean about TOM and eating, that's where I have been the last couple weeks.

Went to home depot to price some stuff for my office project. NO intention of buying anything, but we found Pergo on clearance for about $1 a square foot. We bough enough to do my office and my daughter's room. SO much nicer than what I had planned on having (linolium tiles) a bit more expensive but not much. We saved over $400 on both rooms from the original price. So in a couple weeks we will purchase the rest of the stuff and decide on furniture, still trying to deide to keep mine, which doesn't fit well in the room, or go with something else. I am very excited. My intention is to pack up everything, empty the room and do it in all in a weekend. I'll have to get my inlaws to babysit or maybe hire the neighbor girl for a few hours (I've never doen that but I think she'd be ok).

Well ahev a good weekend everyone!!
~misty

Misty, I'm glad to hear that you are getting some work done in the house. It's a great start and I'm sure in no time the house will be looking a lot better. No you are not being whiny, I think all your complaints are extremely valid. I understand why you want to have money that is your own but at the same time I think you are putting too much into a $3 an hour job and not getting back what you are putting into it. I think you could be doing more productive things with your time that you are spending looking after 2 extra kids. What you should do it make up a list with the pros and cons of looking after these kids and have a good hard look at it and then decide.

Bootcamp has not worked for me. I just couldn't stick to it. I wish I could figure out something that will work for me and I can stick to.

Jen I agree. Boot camp did not work for me either. I get annoyed with all of this if you want it bad enough you'll do it, put yourself first, it's all in your head crap that I am force fed through media, family, my own internal dialogue etc. The fact is as we have said before this plan wasn't super realistic for people with kids and jobs and husbands who refuse it veggies. I admit if I had stuck to it I would have lost weight. But I just can't fit something this restrictive into my world.

I will certainly take some lessons from this. I have to step it up, this program emphasised kicking workouts into high gear, not falling into a rut. I can't have my cake and eat it too. Those refined carbs aren't what my body needs. It needs good whole grains, limited sweets and lots and lots of veggies.

I liked WW points. They seem to work for me. I just HATE all the counting, measureing, more counting. They say you don't ahev to but if I want to keep myself honest I do have to. It's just seems liek it started to consume my life.

I like alot of what Dr. Phil says. I have discovered alot about myself and admitted my emotional use of food.

I need to find something that fits into my life, not something I change my life for. I understand slow small changes last longer, that's more what I need. So maybe next week I will start a week long challenge. Maybe like you said water or something small. I feel like b/c this is the Dr. Phil/Oprah bored it has to fall in that theme, but I guess it doesn't matter.

I'll start a thread. We'll focus on One small step at a time. We each can create our own weekly goal and support each other. That's what it's all about, having a place to get some support and knowing we are not alone.

~misty