I've wanted to post again earlier, but got a little busy with work for the week and just got a chance to read the last few posts.

It's been enlightening to read about what everyone said about fear. I was feeling "unhealthy" being motivated by it, instead of by some more positive emotion. But hearing from everyone, it sounds like it is a good motivator. And why not? If it works. I'm going to try and reignite a little fear, and maybe set another goal date as Kandice has.

The food suggestions are VERY helpful- and I do need to shake it up a bit. And maybe losing last year and gaining this year is part of a process. I lost weight last year so now I know its possible, now I have to find a way that's sustainable.

I've figured out that at this point, I just don't have the discipline that Lauraleigh has when her husband is eathing. This weekend my husband and I had a long talk (after a little fight) and he's really helping me now. I think he saw how unhappy the weight was making me. He wants to lose the weight he's gained this year too, but its just not as important to him. But yesterday he went grocery shopping, today he cooked a really healthy meal. I'm hopeful that this will really help me get back on track!

I still am craving sweets and had some today unfortunately. Trying not to think about it. I'm not sure what's best in terms of forgiving yourself. I wish I could learn from my mistakes, but sometimes I can try and analyze why I did it, and then just do the same darn thing the next day.

Sometimes it's a realization, like when I skip my protein, I crave starches later on. But I'm also a person who will cut corners when no one is looking, so the "being hard on yourself" method may work better for me.

I'm wondering what's going through everyone's head before, during and after you eat the "cookie of sin": you know... the one that coworkers bring in a dozen and leave in the lunchroom and send out an email to the office "hello-- free cookies in breakroom- please help yourself", when it should actually read "hello- temptation in the breakroom- please hate yourself afterwards".

Hi wedded,

Sounds like you've made some major progress this week! Just getting a more supportive environment at home and thinking through what you want and planning how to get there are big big steps!

As far as the 'cookie of sin' dialog goes, I have successful (avoid cookies) and unsuccessful (eat cookies) versions. In the unsuccessful version before I eat the cookies I'm thinking things like:
'What evildoer brought in these cookies'
'Those really look good'
'Wish I could have one'
'just one won't hurt'.
'I'm having such a bad day, I deserve that cookie'

During, I think things like
'I should really enjoy this cookie, since I'm not supposed to be having it'.

After there are two basic options,
'I really shouldn't have had that cookie--I have no willpower' and
'Boy, I really blew that!' and
'Well, the day is shot anyway, might as well have another.'

A better day will be more like,
'Well, it wasn't the best choice, but it was one cookie, it was OK, and I can move on now', or even better,
'What did I do that I can avoid next time?'

A more successful day starts like the first but then I'll tell myself,
'Last time I had a cookie, it just wasn't worth the calories', or
'Last time, I felt really bad about myself afterwards' or
'last time, I felt really bloated', or
'I've decided not to eat work food, so that cookie is OFF LIMITS. I can go get my own cookie, if I really really need one'

When I've gotten over the hurdle, I'll think things like,
'Great job!'
'You're really taking care of yourself today'
'Setting myself up for a streak here!'

No matter what, I try to keep in mind that it is just a cookie. Even if I ate 7 of them, and I've had those days, it isn't like I've committed a felony. I try to remind myself that there are consequences to every decision that I have to live with, and I have the power to make the decision I want, even bad ones. Build momentum off of the good decisions, learn from the bad ones, and realize that you will always have plenty of each. That is the way it is supposed to be. Over time, if I work it, there will be more good decisions than bad, and it'll turn around.

I usually try to go half-and-half with the temptations and sweet tooth. When I'm craving chocolate, I try to pick up a healthier version of it, or something so small as to just get a taste. I've fallen in love with the Slim Whey peanut butter & chocolate bars. They're small and have soy protein added in. Or I snag a small truffle for a taste when I see those sitting on store counters. Of course I also usually have a bite of whatever my husband's eating, so I can say "I came, I saw, I tasted."

Wedded,

how generous of you to think that I am so disciplined. In fact, I had many bad days when my husband and I were first reunited. I would think that I was sticking to my plan, because I was eating less than he was and exercising, but I turns out I was making some pretty poor food choices. Also, he was not used to my new spartan ways. I was definitely cranky and resentful.

What has changed is that I've become more knowledgable about nutritious, filling food choices. My husband's attitude has helped as well. He (like your husband) saw how concerned I was about keeping my weight off and has become very supportive. He tries to suggest restaurants that he knows will have grilled fish and vegetables available. He doesn't order dessert and doesn't eat junk food anymore. Over the weekend, my mom saw him eating some all natural peanut butter and commented that he probaby scarfed up the Jif at his office. My sweet husband, replied that he is totally on board with my nutrition ideas (such as no trans-fat and limited sugar) and feels lucky to have his own personal nutritionist!

See if reading up on diet and exercise helps you. You may also find that making healthier versions of foods you both enjoy is pretty satisfying. We used to make waffles almost every weekend and haven't had them in a very long while. On Sunday, I made a new version using cottage cheese, egg beaters, and ground oatmeal that we both enjoyed immensely. Thinking creatively will definitely help combat the feelings of deprivation. By the way, the waffle recipe is from drsears.com under reader recipes and is called Bed and Breakfast Waffles.

I hate workfood. I avoided it with great difficulty last year during Carnival season by telling myself that no piece of king cake was going to come between me and my new Marc Jacobs suit I had gotten at an after Christmas sale. I usually avoided it, but was so angry about the whole situation. Now, I think I truly prefer "my" food. Saying no to the work treats has gotten so much easier. But, when the going got tough, I would actually bring my own water and coffee in to the office to avoid seeing and smelling all the treats in the kitchen. I also kept a list at my desk of things to do instead of eating.

Try different mental approaches and see what works. Thinking back, I still struggle with my attitude and long-term commitment, but as Mrs. Jim says, it is getting easier!

Along with Wedded, I plan to try out many of the food suggestions here.

I went thru Hanukkah with reasonable control and grace. I made latkes baked in the oven, instead of fried, and used fat-free sour cream and unsweetened applesauce. I have continued to track all food, but haven't been fitting in much exercise. Still within my WW Lifetime goal.

Where I have been slipping: once again, not eating enough during the workday. Arriving home ready to scarf down lots of hummus (not an unhealthy food, but not one I can easily eat in moderation). My plan: back to Trader Joe's for lots of frozen entrees to store at work, stock up on the Wasa crackers, cut up the raw veggies and eat a snack mid-morning. These things worked in the past and they should work again.

Great suggestions for the "cookie of sin" problem. I really wanted to know how people deal with this and I really liked hearing wndrane's thought process, and the ways that almostheaven and lauraleigh deal with this. It seems its a common thing in the workplace. I think the South is worse though. (I moved from North to South)

Lauraleigh's husband sounds very supportive, and I'm finding that with my husband helping me again- it's making a world of difference. It is a process of adjustment I guess- it's not just you being able to control everything in your kitchen. And the Marc Jacobs suit- I never thought of that- Clothes! That's a great motivator. If I can think of the most pleasurable aspect of being the right weight it's how clothes fit and all the stylish things you can wear without having to think so much.

So all's going well- mixing the food up a bit- taking all the food suggestions. Joining the forum has really been the kick in the butt I needed.

I hope that I handle Hannukah like as Elana has. I'll be gone for 5 days to my mother-in-law's for an early Christmas celebration this weekend. I'm not even going to try to be strict about it- My mother-on-law's food is delicious and high calorie- but there's no unawkward way to ask for healthier food. If it were my own mother, no problem, but this being our first year of marriage- I'll just take a walk everyday and moderate. And start again after. Does that sound ok-or not such a good idea. How is everyone else dealing with Xmas/Holidays? being out-of-town?

I think you're onto something. I spent most of my life in WV, and most of my adult life overweight. I moved to NH at the end of 1997. I saw an entirely different lifestyle there. Rather than where my family ate out at every all-you-can-eat buffet 3 to 5 times per week, and dined on take-out for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I was now in a location where people exercised at lunch and had showers in the offices, where people actually walked their dogs rather than letting them loose in a fenced in yard, where people walked or bicycled to the corner store rather than drove there, and where organics was a hot commodity.

I just last month moved down to Virginia and am already facing challenges with my sister and neice (both about 300 pounds each), but I stick to my guns and stay with healthy places to eat out when they insist on going out to eat with me. They might get sick of Ruby Tuesdays, but I won't. LOL

Wedded,
You brought up a very interesting topic here. Once I've read on the other bulletin board that it is not sweets we crave, it is tastes we crave. Like if you have enough will power, you can just try a little piece and ask yourself - do I really want to continue. I remeber that this principle just changed my life last holiday season - I would have EVERY cake but only a piece...

Here is an example I had yesterday. I just picked my cup of tea (I don't drink coffee and I don't use sweeteners in my herbal teas) and went back to my office. At that moment coworker went into kitchen and said - here is Krispy Cream donuts! I love them. I mean, I don't like donuts in general, but I love krispy creams! Add to it that we have only 1 store near Vancover (thanks God) -so I have exposure to them about once a year... I really wanted to try... So I asked coworker (who is training for marathon in February so he is very weight consious) - do you want to share? He said, that he thinks that half of the donut would be fine. We shared and after that he said: you know what, I never knew that half of the donut will make me feel so happy and not disgusted that I slipped on my meal plan. Later I thought that i had my donut, I had my moment of happiness of eating it, but I am still fine...

That is my "holiday season" method of eating. I adopted it a year ago, and it worked for me - i was still loosing weight last holdiay season - we went to the trip for 2 weeks, I ate EVeRYTHING and I lost 3 pounds! I hope this principle will carry me thru this holiday season. BTW, we have potluck lunch tomorrow at my work - I am going to make low fat spanokopita

Sandy.

Sandy -- I've got to ask ! What is spanokopita? And if it's low fat can we have the recipe? THanks!

I also wanted to add to the mindset of having only one piece or just a half. It does work! I do it too, and also add to the mindset that this is NOT the last KrispyKream donut in the world there will be some tomorrow ! So why should I eat 6 of them and feel awful when only a half or even a quarter will satisfy my sweet tooth... We live and learn don't we? It's a wonderful thing, the mind...

Spanokopita is a greek pastry dish. Since greek food is high on fat, I call my spanokopita low fat as I limit fat there as much as I can limit it. Spanokopita is a pastry with spinach/cheese in it.

If you buy pastry douh you will have to put oil between each layer. It makes the pastry krispy, but also adds enormously on fat. So I buy tenderflake pastry douh - it is a small package (yellow with two squares of douh on it) - it is sold frozen. You have to let it unfreze and you do not add any oil - you have to roll it into the shape you need (I do rectangular). One square makes one rectangular. Place it into rectangular (kind of lasagna) baking dish (covered with PAM) - make sure you have enough douh to roll along the sides of the dish. Unfreeze 2 packages of spinach(drained of liquids) (or use fresh but steamed spinach) - the rule of thumb - spinach should cover 1/2 inch high all the surface of the inside of the douh. Place grated cheese (low fat, not fat) - I use half of feta and half of mozarella, but sometimes i use mozarella only, sometimes feta only - of course greeks use feta only. It is nice to add one teaspoon of olive oil. Salt, pepper, your favourite spices. Roll second square of douh and place it on top, pinch bottom and top together (nothing bad happens if liquids will come out, but it is neater if they stay inside). I usually make a couple of holes with fork or knife in the top so that liquides can evaporate. Sometimes I use PAM on top - the color of the pie will be nicer.

I bake it for about an hour at 375F - usually I look at the douh color - it should be yellowish. Enjoy! I can not figure out how to make it even less fat, but I do not gain any weight by eating 1-2 pieces every now and than.

This is one of the dishes which look nice to eat, it contains spinach, and it tastes always good. Plus everybody will think you are a great cook!

Sandy -- Thank you for that recipe, it sounds like it would be a great pie to accompany a tourtiere, which is French Canadian...

Torture? Thought that was one of my mother-in-law's recipes! Opps, I'm just getting paranoid about her coming for Christmas. What is tourtiere, Ilene? I remember that you're the one who taught me about poutine (sp?) - is it another one like that?

Tourtierre is a traditional meat pie, served at this time of year. Every region of the province has its own recipe. Ground pork seems to be the basic ingredient though. Being vegetarian, I've never tried it, but my dh has tried it and liked it.

Only Me is right-on, it's a meat pie made with ground pork...NOT low-fat friendly, like poutine...