Flower,
I love payday but man, money flies out just as fast as it comes in.

Dish Network guy is coming tomorrow to install tv service. I'll be able to watch all my shows. wooooooo

I hope I hit everyone in personals and didn't miss anyone.

That video made it hard to read all your posts.

Lisa. I am glad that you enjoyed the hand dipped ice cream.
Glad you got the clothes. Woohooo for money to buy things!
Lol re: Moo Doo. Made with love by VT cows.
Hope you enjoy your new clothes!!!

Woohoo! Hope you enjoy! And yes, money does fly out the window all too quickly.

Lisa,
I’ve never seen a video here, but maybe because I only use this site on my iphone? Plus my phone settings aren’t set to auto play videos. If videos are playing automatically you may just need to adjust your phone or computer settings?

Those sound like great clothing deals. Today is my day off and I did the same thing as you- a bit of spring shopping. The thing I actually headed out to buy wasn’t available so I ended up browsing and picked up some cute summery things and new pajamas. I was at Target.

Happy Friday, everyone! I’m happy to read some of you have been doing some outdoorsly activities in nice weather.

See that, Holly? VT cows make moo doo just for you.

I still don't have a lot but I'm getting little bits of clothing at a time.

That chocolate ice cream was sooooooooo good.

Kathleen always so nice to see you!! First, ugh to all your physical things you gotta do...I am so sorry about the hip pain, of course it must be hard to try to do any kind of exercise when you are in pain!

I hope you have nice weather and can walk your pups outside and enjoy some without much pain!

and the possible hearing loss diagnosis, well d*mmit girl can't you catch a break?? I would think someone who has BEATEN DOWN breast cancer as you have, would not have to deal with anything else. But I'm glad you are making appointments to face what you have to do. Like the sneaky camera going into the private places!! ugh but a necessity. Sorry to hear your daughter has to have a surgery but I guess it's for the best.

I know I am at different work places all the time and it must be confusing I have had a glorious week off for the first time IN A YEAR. I've had off from Monday April 30th through this Sunday. Then I work at the store for only 2 days, next Monday and Tuesday; then on Wednesday the 9th I am at the summer place for good! It doesn't officially open til the following Wednesday but we will be there to set up the kitchen and start prep. I was there yesterday for a preliminary check on what supplies were there, and it is just like returning to a second home There is still ice on the lake!! and piles of snow on the cold side of the building!

Lisa I am so glad you had some money come in and you got some good clothing basics and bargains! Man you can't beat Walmart for cheap clothes. I'm glad the Moo Doo gave you a laugh do you know that, that is the actual name of the product?? http://moodoo.com/ As flower pointed out, made right here in Vermont by poopin Vermont cows Hope Dish Network comes on time and connects you soon!

Hi PandaCupcake glad you got some summer clothing things too, Target is great, but we don't have one here in the whole state. Yeah we are a backwoods state Too bad the desired scone was not good, or maybe that's a good thing but consistency can make or break a place, right?

flower Oh I hear you about food remorse don't know why we can't relate past experiences, to present cravings and actions. Are you vegan? don't remember if you mentioned that before. But those pancakes sounded fabulous (frankly ANY pancake sounds fabulous to me!!)
Oh man did you get hit by those storms last night?? wow, we had rain coming in through a closed double-hung window, it was sideways rain!! and the thunder and constant lightning. My newly planted rhubarbs are not looking happy, i hope they perk up!

Lisa there is always now, ,a little video that follows every post. It plays but there is no sound. It is a new distracting feature here though!

I cannot believe what a trigger old photos are for me. After my chipper posts this morning, I started what was supposed to simply be, vacuuming the living room rug so I could exercise without seeing the dog hair and dirt. I started to pick up stuff, then was putting that stuff in it's proper place, which led me to another distraction, which led to another, i should have just stayed with the vacuum!!! because as i was bringing items upstairs to my desk, my eye caught a couple small boxes labeled "Mom" on a high shelf. I couldn't remember what was in them so I took them down. Big Mistake.

First was 2 boxes of Easter and Christmas decorations, I think I can tell the Christmas ones my Mom handmade, others were crocheted and stuff but not by her. But I remember her hanging these little decorations in each separate window pane at Christmas and how she loved them. But what am I gonna do with them. I already have Christmas decorations and a few that I saved that were hers. And I don't put out Easter stuff. My kids (boys) would not be interested in them. Just looking at them made me so sad and tears started coming. And this house is SO FULL of crap, I cringe if I think of our boys having to take care of it if they have to . So I am always trying to reduce stuff in here. And I just threw those boxes in the trash.

3rd box was from my father's end. Old photos. Of him as a child, boy, teenager, college student. Stuff from his college years. A letter he wrote to his parents, when he was in Ann Arbor, at Michigan State University, to his parents here in Plainfield VT. He wrote of a summer job offer from Douglas Aircraft in CA (later to become McDonnell-Douglas) that he was offered $394 a month! this was in 1955! and he was so proud of this fact (he went on to get his PhD from M.I.T. for aeronautical engineeing) Pics of his mother and aunt. One that I know was taken just 25 miles from here, and I guess 60+ years ago. the house where he grew up. Him and his aunt, standing on a sunny doorstep, a cat laying right behind them in the sun. He's dead, the aunt is dead, that cat certainly is dead...pictures of my young beautiful mom in that box too. She's dead.

so you see where i am at now. HOW do people deal with this// ?? is this normal? to have your parents passed on for YEARS and you come across stuff and fall apart? and realize this is how it is for everyone?? we live and then wer'e gone??

no one needs to comment if this is too horrible and depressive. I just need to get through it. I don't know why it hit me so hard. Because I was feeling very good about stuff currently!!!

Holly,

I'm just going make some statements.

It is hard to see images of my parents, who are both gone now. I don't cry much, except on a rare occasion.

I always try to keep things in perspective though. Both of them were very very sick. I want them both to be in peace, with absolutely no pain.

I could not handle them both still being here and having to live with their perspective illnesses. That is absolutely the last thing I want.

I miss them both very much but I've discovered my own strength.

I'm not sure if dying is the ultimate end. Perhaps it is.

Whatever happens to us, I find strength in religion. Church is quiet and peaceful to me.

I think that when my time comes, I'm hoping that I can be at peace with either scenerio. Either life after death or dust to dust.

Jennifer has been going to church the past few months, after years of saying she didn't believe in God.
I don't ask her but I think watching my mother pass in 2016 brought on this change in her. I don't ask because it's her privacy but to say I'm happy is an understatement.

I save pictures of my parents, they make me smile and I want something to pass down to Jennifer.

Just some thoughts on this, from me.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

INelieveInMe2. I wasn't going to write now. Just came to read. But your (and Holly's) posts made me want to respond. So much going on in your life. These physical bodies sure do need maintenance. Even the dreaded scopes etc. sorry to read that your daughter has to have surgery in June. Glad though she has a caring good mom to help her through the recovery at home. Hearing loss? I hope the news on that is better than you expect. Hoping you like the new PT person. AND I hope it goes well.

Holly. You wrote that we do not have a Target in VT. That's about to change. The U. Mall is getting one. It will be open before Christmas. I know it's about an hour from where you are. But at least it will be here. Mercifully for me, the storm was not too bad where I live. I know one of the storm cells hit very close. Thunder lightning and rain not too bad here. But close. Wind did get a bit scary later in the night. But all was okay. I hope rubarb perks up today. Re: grief and family, I think it's normal for many people. I don't think I will ever totally recover from my brother's passing. I think it's good that you could write about it here. Expressing grief, etc when it again surfaces can be important. Otherwise it gets stored inside. Wowww your dad sure was an intelligent guy.

I belong to a big Facebook group that is dedicated to all the present-time changes that are going on with people and earth. It's a bit (or a lot) woo..... but so am I. Way tmi Anyway, many people there are reporting that they are now having food cravings. Eating a lot more right now. I still am not sure why this is going on with me. But at least I seem to not be the only one currently dealing with it. Yesterday I did my best attempt at damage control. Low on sugar and starch. But too much food. Hopefully these PITA cravings will cut me some slack today

Hi to everyone
Hoping you all are having a good Saturday. Pat

Hi there: I usually hang out in the Diabetes forum.
I recently had a very thorough review with a sleep specialist, and have been diagnosed with depression, to my surprise. I know I get anxious and depressed when I don't sleep well, ( and that has become too common, hence the consultation with the specialist). He feels that depression and anxiety are the cause of my sleep issues.
So I will be starting Remeron (Mitrazapine) and starting that Monday night.
He warned me about weight gain, but seriously, I can't stick to any plan of days when I haven't slept well, so I am less worried about weight gain that I am about lack of sleep.
Has anyone had much experience with it? It also makes people sleepy. How sleepy if you have been on it?

I have been on SSRI's before, and haven't felt depressed the way I was before I was on them. But I weaned off them both because I felt mentally well and not depressed, and had side effects (urinary retention, leading to repeated UTI's) that were becoming intolerable. Wellbutrin made my depression worse, so that wasn't a good alternative.

Mitrazapine doesn't have that urinary retention side effect, so I am hoping things will go well. This doc also has some other alternative plans if I don't do well with this med.

TIA, and feel free to PM me if you don't want to post.