Ups and Downs Support Group - Feb. 2016

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  • Welcome!
    UberGinger: to the group! Hope you will find some positive support here from the wonderful ladies in the group! Best of luck to you in your depression & weight loss journeys! We are here to cheer you on! You can do it!!!
  • Welcome!
    guacamole: to the group!!! Sorry that you struggle with emotional binge eating. So many of us can certainly relate! The good news is that you were able to get it under control and make a lot of progress before, so you KNOW you can do it again!!! We will conquer our cravings together!
  • Coop27
    Coop27: Glad to hear that you made it through Monday with support from family. I was thinking of you. Don't beat yourself up too much for your comfort eating. That won't accomplish anything, except to make you want to seek comfort (possibly from food) again. It is in the past, so do your best to move on and focus on progress and not perfection!
  • DARN it!!! I had long responses typed out to everyone, but had 2 tabs open to refer back to comments, closed the wrong one and lost it

    I'll come back and try again!!!
  • Hi ladies,


    I lost my post too. Dammit. grrrrrr

    Welcome to everyone, especially to you new posters. We are so glad to have you here with us. yay!


    So glad the weekend is almost here, I need a break. I will tell you all of my week the next time I post. I will try to post again tomorrow, if I feel up to it.


    Much love to all of you.
  • Good Afternoon/Morning everyone!

    TOM gave me an extra 3lbs which he gladly took back. Now I'm down 3 more than I was the other day. Woo!

    My friend is coming home tomorrow and we're going to the gym together (to use that stair master) and then possibly going to get sushi. Yummmm

    I hope all of you are doing well. I'll check in later!
  • Hope it's ok if I participate here as well, this is a nice thread. I hope you all had a nice weekend. Lisa, I'm sorry about your cmpany closing. It happened to my dad over 10 years ago and was tough, but I hope you find something soon.
    My weekend was really needed. Hop it's ok if I vent, I have a very difficult pupil in the private tutoring institute where I work. We're not really qualified to deal with him and he is really the first kid I absolutely dislike. This has never happened before and I've been working there for six years. I'm almost scared of Fridays because I know I'll spend 90 minutes with that kid again and last Friday was bad! Usually, I like all the pupils there, even the more difficult ones, but I've been tutoring him for over 6 months and still dislike him even though I know he is a very troubled kid. And then my boss, who knows I like to drink tea, told me that they found some poisonous stuff (I think it's called PA) in tea and that someone got liver cirrhocis from one cup. She doesn't know I have bad anxiety problems and I don't want to tell her, but the rest of the afternoon was awful because I kept worrying.
    I don't binge, but when I'm stressed, I will often opt for the quick, less healthy meal or forget to take a snack and then get a chocolate bar, but at least that I didn't do on Friday. I had taken a few small, low-calorie biscuits which I had instead.
    What is generally getting to me: my fiancé and I want to get married in May, but because he is a foreigner, it's a bit complicated and our next appointment at the registry office is on February 29th which seems so far away. Before that, we don't get an official wedding date and can't plan things properly.
  • Callymay- welcome to the thread. I'm sorry you're having a tough time. My sister teaches like you, not trained for difficult kids at all! You will pick up as time goes on, and it does get a bit easier. Kids grow up and move on, so he won't be with you forever.

    What a silly thing to say about tea though! I'm in the UK, and people drink A LOT of tea here, I've never heard of anyone getting poisoned from plain old tea... My OH has been drinking tea since he was 2yo, and has 6-8 cups a day (that's like 50,000 cups of tea in his life so far), and has never had any problems - you have nothing to worry about. I hope this helps put your mind at ease!
  • Quote: Hope it's ok if I participate here as well, this is a nice thread. I hope you all had a nice weekend. Lisa, I'm sorry about your cmpany closing. It happened to my dad over 10 years ago and was tough, but I hope you find something soon.
    My weekend was really needed. Hop it's ok if I vent, I have a very difficult pupil in the private tutoring institute where I work. We're not really qualified to deal with him and he is really the first kid I absolutely dislike. This has never happened before and I've been working there for six years. I'm almost scared of Fridays because I know I'll spend 90 minutes with that kid again and last Friday was bad! Usually, I like all the pupils there, even the more difficult ones, but I've been tutoring him for over 6 months and still dislike him even though I know he is a very troubled kid. And then my boss, who knows I like to drink tea, told me that they found some poisonous stuff (I think it's called PA) in tea and that someone got liver cirrhocis from one cup. She doesn't know I have bad anxiety problems and I don't want to tell her, but the rest of the afternoon was awful because I kept worrying.
    I don't binge, but when I'm stressed, I will often opt for the quick, less healthy meal or forget to take a snack and then get a chocolate bar, but at least that I didn't do on Friday. I had taken a few small, low-calorie biscuits which I had instead.
    What is generally getting to me: my fiancé and I want to get married in May, but because he is a foreigner, it's a bit complicated and our next appointment at the registry office is on February 29th which seems so far away. Before that, we don't get an official wedding date and can't plan things properly.
    Welcome to the thread! Is there a way that you can find help for the boy or find another way to teach him? Sometimes, if you can find the right way to have him express himself, he'll be a little better. Is there a way though that you can talk with someone maybe higher up and find him the help he needs?
  • Quote: Welcome to the thread! Is there a way that you can find help for the boy or find another way to teach him? Sometimes, if you can find the right way to have him express himself, he'll be a little better. Is there a way though that you can talk with someone maybe higher up and find him the help he needs?
    I have been talking to my boss and to my colleague who tutors him in Maths. My boss is aware of the problems and there has been talk about telling the mother to take him out of the group, but I think my boss likes him - she doesn't have to tutor him, though. The kid is 12 and his situation at home is bad. The dad got divorced from his mother and moved back to Turkey, the mother has a shop in the city centre and works a lot and he has an older sister with autism, so the boy doesn't get any attention at home. He is very overweight, I guess because he often gets money to buy his own lunches which are generally very unhealthy (junk food which he brings to the lessons). He is in a group of 5 kids and really disruptive: he hums, smacks his lips, waves his arms, interrupts me constantly and often does the exact opposite of what I tell him to do. He brings pens he can't write with and then refuses to use a normal pen, writing ugly on purpose to show me he can't write with a normal pen and also keeps distracting the other kids. I realise he is desperate for attention and has nobody to talk to, but he is so disruptive I feel extremely exhausted after every lesson. He is intelligent, but got a 6 in German in his report (6 means failed) because he hardly ever does any work. Usually, I like even the difficult kids and it makes me feel bad that I dislike him so much. And my boss seems think it's fine for him to stay for now, so I really don't know what to do. And I seriously don't get paid well enough to be willing to do that to myself every week.

    As for the tea, thanks Coop27, what you wrote has helped me a bit. My boss likes to get dramatic about stuff sometimes, I think and because of my anxiety, if she says stuff like this, that does hit me quite hard. She smokes, btw, so if I were her I would worry less about tea and more about smoking.
  • ugh. Unexpectedly sad this weekend. Partly owing to chucking in the diet. Partly just...lots of thoughts around feeling alone and not relating to people my age - don't want kids, etc. Single. Living in a place with not much going on and not many people I know/like..sigh. That spiraled into some thoughts about where I am in life and that this might just be the case going forward, as people increasingly retreat into family units, etc.

    I'm feeling slightly better today, hoping to be able to move back to a city in the Summer...but starting over yet again is a bit weary-making.

    Just generally down. Eating crap as a result.
  • Sending positive thoughts. I hope you will feel better soon.
  • I've been depress for 2 weeks now.

    Maybe because my boyfriend and I broke up for almost two weeks now.

    He made me feel inferior to the point where I just couldn't take it any more and dumped him. Now I'm sad because he's saying hurtful things about me. My co worker / friend (who is a married woman) said he chatted with her a few times after we broke up, hitting on her. She said she disappointed in my taste in men as am I.

    Now he, a 24 year old man, is hitting on my co worker/ friend daughter who is a 12 year old girl. The girl apparently was on her way to school when he approached her.
  • Bookmark - sorry you're having a bad time, I hope you feel a bit brighter soon. I can completely sympathise with your lack of feeling g settled where you are. I hope your move goes well, and I hope you find some good activities to help you meet people. It's hard! Why did no one warn us meeting people was hard?

    Jessica888 - sorry about your break-up. People can be very spiteful when they've been dumped and weren't expecting it. Clearly trying to make you jealous, but hopefully he will back off soon. 12 year old girl though... That's a whole new level of wrong...
  • Jessica888, I'm sorry about the break-up and how you are feeling. The 12-year old girl, though... sounds scary to me. I'm hoping he will bak off and you will be feeling better soon.

    I have been really discouraged about the situation with my difficult pupil because last Friday was so bad. I now have 5 pupils in that group, the maximum number for a group of pupils in that place, 2 in grade 7, 2 in grade 6 and one in grade 3(!). The 3rd grader turned out to be extremely difficult as well and 5 pupils, 2 of them difficult in a way I have never experienced before, is too much. I am seriously not coping. I have had kids with ADHS and dislexia and anxiety over school, but these two, especially A, the one I have had for over 6 months, are way beyond that and way beyond anyting I can handle. My boss got irritated at first, telling me she couldn't just change it (even though she had told me I should let her know if I can't handle A because she had told his mother we couldn't help him. Eventually, my boss realised that I was really upset and said she would try to put A in a different group, but she couldn't do that immediately, so I will need to cope with him and the difficult 3rd grader for a few more weeks. I'm already scared of Friday, the next time I will have that group.