Good morning on a cloudy, overcast day. Maybe it will finally warm up a little here!

Ubee -- Yes, we are going to Alaska. I'll tell my younger nephew and Bill that they won't be needed as you'll be going with me. One is riding up with me (I'm driving the RV!) and exploring for a week then flying home. Then the other one will fly in and drive back home with me. And I'm taking Toby because everyone needs to haul a 100+ pound dog along on a month long trip. It has given me the impetus to now do 2 days in a row of stretching exercises before I even head in for coffee. I hate to admit it, but I can tell the difference in just doing 2 days of stretching on mobility. Not to mention all the calories I'm burning trying to get into the correct positions to stretch. I think I caught Toby rolling on the floor doing doggie laughs. Yes, we're slowly fixing ourselves. It dawned on me when I read your sentence that I hadn't really admitted that something needed to be "fixed" until very recently.

Fi -- Yes, Fi, I know how important getting to your studio is for you. I'll put it right up there with world peace and fixing global warming! Just poking at you -- you know what I meant about the little things in life. Seriously, I'm very happy for you that you seem to be on the path back as it sounds like most of 2015 was just awful for you and probably for Bob, too. The gym lady has a whole routine for me to do, but I have really been slacking off on the cardio. Just need to increase my time on the elliptical and add the treadmill back in. I've still been doing all of the strength exercises.

Phat -- Hi back at you!

A friend gave me her ham bone from Christmas -- SHE WAS GOING TO THROW IT AWAY! I'm making some bean soup today and am working on sorting all the pictures to make scrapbooks for each of my nephews. We've got 2 January family birthdays so I'll start thinking about what to have when we have the joint birthday party celebrations. At the end of the month I'm getting AC installed. Doesn't everyone install AC in the middle of winter?????

Off to get some coffee and breakfast. Have a great day.

Hi Everyone,

It's lovely to see some familiar faces and new ones.

I don't know how long it has been since I've visited - 2015 was such a horrendous year that weight loss was the last thing from my mind. Just holding my family together whilst it fell apart was such a struggle.

Looking up, I last visited in December, 2014 - yikes. To be honest, I'm not ready to start my weight loss program again yet, as I mentioned above, I am just clawing and trying to pull everything together again.

It all started in September, 2014 when my 14 year old daughter did what I have always told her to do when stressed - just walk away. And she did! She was found by the police 26 kilometres from home. She was a very immature 14 year old and it blew us away. The following month my husband travelled to the UK to spend his time with his Mum for her 80th birthday and the visual and auditory hallucinations started.

In 2015 between February to June my father in law had one heart attack, two strokes, several episodes of sepsis and almost chronic delirium. He was only home for 8 days between the 25th Feb and 21st June when he died peacefully with his wife holding his hand. This time was challenging for us left at home because my daughter didn't cope very well with my husband's prolonged absences whilst he was helping his Mum in England - Sydney to St Ives is not just a two hour drive away. As a result, we became well acquainted with the Infant, Child and Adolescent Mental health Services.

We are looking up now - I still cry at times when I'm feeling sorry for myself but these times are few. She has now been diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum, also has Inattentive type ADHD and Severe Anxiety which manifest as auditory and visual hallucinations. We received these diagnoses the day after my father in law died and we made a stop at the paediatrician's on the way to the airport. It was such a shock! At this time we were told that she would not likely be able to live independently, hold down a job unless it was supported and probably won't finish high school.

My determined self has come forward and is seeking out opportunities for her. The hard thing is that she has missed all of the early intervention, so now we are playing catch up. I've found the best way to cope and think of things is by remembering 'Autism is not a data processing error, it's a different operating system'. I cannot begin to describe how much this has helped. It's what drives me to seek opportunities and help her to achieve.

If that wasn't enough, my Irish Dancing son was diagnosed with Osgood-Schlatter's disease just 6 weeks before the Australian Irish Dancing National Championships. He was putting such a brave face on it and practicing through the agony then just two weeks before National's the poor thing ended up having emergency surgery to remove his appendix and he wasn't allowed to dance.

Our Autism princess has also been plagued with injury and is currently undergoing physiotherapy from for stress fractures in her spine from rhythmic gymnastics.

2016 promises to be a much better year. My son has changed Irish Dancing schools and we haven't looked back - we love our new family! Our Autism Princess has also asked to start Irish Dancing again to (after leaving the old school when we found out her nickname was 'ret@rd' - worse still, the dancing teacher didn't see anything wrong with it).

The other positive is that I now have a permanent tenured position at work. The downside is that my research supervisors have changed to staff that I work with every day and I am being hammered to move forward at a rate faster than I feel able to cope, so it's a fine line.

I m looking to commence my weight loss journey again soon, I'm just psyching myself up for it. My biggest hurdle was coming back her and posting again - one goal achieved

I hope everyone is well, it's lovely to be back.

I haven't been brave enough to stand on the scales yet - right now, I don't think I could stand what I would see, looking in the mirror is hard enough - one step at a time.

Here's to making 2016 a success and linking arms with you all so we can cross the line together.

Bek.

Lucy—or do you prefer to be called Bek?— Good to see you back on the thread, especially given the horrible year that 2015 seems to have been for you. Is that your "Irish Dancing son" in your avatar photo? He looks sweet, talented, and smashing in his costume. You deserve a lot of credit for all that you have done for your husband, your "Autism princess" daughter, and your son. Being the glue that holds a family together during such difficult times is no easy feat! I couldn't quite figure out from your story whether you live in Sydney or St. Ives, but I thought I would tell you I have a very dear friend—postal only, as so far we haven't met in person—who grew up in, and now lives in, St. Ives.

As you may or may not have read, 2015 was quite awful for me as well. Added to the stress of my metabolic illness and its aftermath has been the rapid decline in my mother-in-law's function. She has Alzheimer's bad enough that she can no longer reliably recognize her daughter. She was recently moved from what's called a "memory care" facility—an incompetent one, with staff who were failing to manage her brittle diabetes—to what we hope will be a better one.

The saddest thing about my mom-in-law's Alzheimer's is that she is a very bright, accomplished woman who is still "in there" enough to be aware of her failing brain. At least my own mother, far away in my home town of Houston, is way past that point in her Alzheimer's and has settled into an odd sort of contentment.

In terms of the pain that besieges me from my damaged legs and arms, I have good days and bad days. Yesterday seemed like a good day until I went downstairs to work on collage and correspondence on the kitchen table. No sooner had I made that trip, though, before I was suffering again very intensely, in all four limbs. I ended up crawling painfully back upstairs to where our bed is comfortable and Bob can sit and read his Kindle next to me as I moan & groan. I'm no stoic—never was and never will be—I suppose because of being physically abused by both parents from an early age. Neither Bob nor I got much sleep last night. I don't see Mike—my Qi Gung instructor/healer—until Tuesday.

Good morning from a snowy, foggy Pacific Northwest. I don't know why I always start with the weather report other than it seems to determine my activities for the day. Please bear with me.

Lucy and Fi -- When I read your postings I feel so ashamed of myself for letting silly little things get to me in any way. You've both gone through so much -- and still are -- that I realize that it takes tremendous strength of character just to get through the day. For both of you, I hope that 2016 brings much peace into your lives.

The bean soup was delicious, but something did not agree with my tummy. The good news is that a couple of pounds came off. The bad news......well, let's just say there was some bad news.

Off to the gym then I really do need to do some cleaning. I'm making progress on the organizing necessary to gets the nephews' scrapbooks done. So many pictures!

Have a great day.

Well hello everybody!
Yes it really is Mountain Walker AKA Donna from Wales back on line and yes.....on a diet.
What was it about 2015?? Almost everybody I speak to had a difficult year last year. My prayers are with all my lovely friends on here that we have a fantastic 2016!!
So.....my abusive husband left in February. After 4 years of being in prison, my initial reaction was "wow.... freedom" then "yikes... freedom" then..."what on earth do I do with all this freedom?"
Despite the relationship being awful, there was still a time of grieving and adjustment.
At Easter last year, my beautiful daughter, who is studying medicine, became unwell and after an MRI was diagnosed with a brain problem which was increasing the pressure in her brain. 3 weeks after she was married she underwent 5 hours of brain surgery and spent the Summer slowly recovering. She is still having problems but went back to do her second year at University. I spent most of last Summer on the motorway between my home and hers!
I have had a spell of really bad chest problems which is "just" asthma but results in repeated chest infections. I escaped hospital by the skin of my teeth just before Christmas and had the wonderful Community Nurses come to give me IV antibiotics at home for 2 weeks. Praise God I am on the mend!
Righto..that's 2015 over and done with thank heavens!
So yesterday I plucked up the courage to get back on the scales......oh it was bad! No surprise...I knew it was going to be ....but seeing the numbers in front of me made me glad I had decided to do something about it! in 2012 I lost 85lbs just by eating less and doing more so that is my intention this time. It worked for me until my husband became jealous and insecure and stopped allowing me to go to the gym etc.
I have found the most marvellous dog walk a 20 minute car ride away ...where I live there are too many sheep around so I can't let them off! And anyway it is too hilly!
Once I have my central line out( which should be a couple of days) I can go back to my swimming which I love. Weirdly enough I NEVER let my size stop me swimming, at least I am exercising!
My wonderful boy is nearly 11 and a bit self conscious of a soft tummy( he hates exercise!) So I am buying a mini-trampoline today to help him.
We have had endless rain which makes encouraging him to get out rather tricky!!!
Have a lovely day everybody!!

2016 is turning out to be great so far simply because so many friends are reposting here!!!

Donna -- Welcome back and I join you in saying adios to 2015. Sounds like you had lots of challenges and any time our children are involved it adds to the stress and worry. I'm glad your daughter is on the mend and you as well. Your positive spirit in spite of all your travails shines through. Many of us had a "weight challenging" year (that's diet speak for we gained or didn't lose any). We've missed you and your wonderful sense of humor. Ubee will be so glad to be able to again get the sheep report.

My big activities for the day are going to the local Sears store which is closing and see if they have any great deals on refrigerators and then to the gas station to buy a lottery ticket. I won't win, but it's over $400 million and I definitely won't win without purchasing a ticket. I only buy them when the winnings get into the stratospheric range. It's fun to imagine what I'd do with all that money. Or more correctly, how I would give it away after a few splurges.

OK. Off to the gym and then to do some errands. This afternoon, I'm going to get the carpeting on the stairs cleaned really well so I can then shampoo them. The dogs have changed the color from gold to heavily spotted gold. Have a great day.

Hi everyone. I am back from my slacking.
Betsy so sorry to tell you that you have wasted your money. I have the winning ticket. Like you I only buy when it is crazy high. Please let your family come along on our trip. The more the merrier! I must admit that I am sad your Sears is closing. So much of my past is being torn down... I feel like your twin. My neighbor gave me her ham bone also. Must be the Midwest girl in us.
Donna I saw my sheep and got so excited that you are back!!! No offense but what a crappy year you had. Kiss that baby good bye. 2016 is here let's get on with weight loss and a much better year for all.
Fi love your latest piece of art. The colors speak to me. I know it is lame but I like the "Here comes the sun." I would love to see Nenu jump to the top of the door. Looking at my fat cat I can not even imagine it. Go ahead keep at me to do my deep breathing and filling up with willpower I need all the help I can get.
Lucy welcome back. I'm with Betsy, it is hard to complain about my little problems with so many of you having such major stuff going on. It is good to have you back. Take one baby step at a time when you are ready. We will be here.
Hi PHAT! I'll take it you are a woman of few words?
Sam where the H are you????
Terra don't you disappear on us either.

I am having trouble getting into a routine. I've made a better plan and it should/will work.

Betsy...I don't have much knowledge of US geography but isn't Alaska a zillion miles from anywhere? Bet Toby will have a ball!!You sound like your gym work out is going well! I plan on the gym a bit later in the year. My local gym is small and if I have a coughing fit(which happens alot!) there is nowhere to hide and people look at me like I need resus!
Fi.....I am so glad you have begun to improve...what a terrible year you had last night. I will check out your new collage later.
Hi Phat!
Lucy......what a nightmare you have had. When our children are suffering it is a torture worse than anything isn't it? I am glad things seem like they are getting a bit better.
Ubee...how are you?
Walking anywhere feels like I am walking through treacle. But I remember that this is how I feel last time I lost alot of weight when I had to stop on the very short walk to school. I just need patience.....does anyone have some patience to spare??
Have a great day.

Mountain's out! Sun!!!! Abbreviated weather report!!!!

Ubee -- We'll split the lottery. We could probably each get by on $225 million or whatever ridiculous amount there is. Just realized you hit the nail on the head -- I'm missing a routine (unless constant cheating counts as a routine!).

Donna -- Yes, Alaska is a zillion miles from anywhere but as Sarah Palin told us she could see Russia from her bedroom window (a slight exaggeration to add to her oh so many others). It's about 2000 miles from here. I've been to the peninsula part of Alaska, but not the interior. The land is gorgeous and I'm ready for a long road trip.

Just looking out my window and realized that the lilac bushes are beginning to form buds. Off to the gym and going to try to make it through a day without cheating. One day. Just one day.

Mostly bad news, I'm afraid. Yesterday morning I twisted my right (bad) knee while going from wheelchair to bed, then many hours later, early this morning, fell down in the bathroom onto the hard tile floor, and injured my right foot. The next time I had to put weight on my right leg, I screamed bloody murder. Poor Bob is very rattled. Soon we have to leave to go see the chronic pain doc. I'm already angry with him (the pain doc) so it probably won't go well. It may sound like hyperbole, but much of the time, I'm in a hellhole.

But some good news: Grace (15-yr-old great niece, mentee, friend, art student) and I have a date for Friday, to make collages in my studio. I sure hope I'm not in so much pain by then.

Mike (Qi Gung instructor/healer) had an interesting suggestion: instead of the sugarfree muesli I've been eating for my small daily dose of carbs, he wants me to substitute sweet potato. Chinese medicine apparently, for pain in the knees. I don't mind that Mike can't explain it to my Western mind. I'm willing to try anything.

Best wishes to all, and Donna, it's great to have you back! and free now from your own hellhole! =smile=

Oh Fi...I am so sorry you are going through such a terrible ordeal with your pain and the falls. You are in my thoughts. I am glad you are still having your precious time with your niece......if I remember correctly there was a time when her parents were reluctant to let her come to spend time with you. Take care my lovely.
Hey Ubee....lots of heavily pregnant Mummy-sheep in the field behind my house...soon we shall have lambs. I promise this year to take some nice pictures and post them!
Betsy...can I come on your road trip? I will even do some of the driving! Weirdly enough I have always wanted to see Alaska...I like cold places you see....and a road trip across America ...well! Amazing! I know you drive on the "wrong" side of the road out there but I am sure I could get used to it!
So.....4 days into my new regime and so far so good. I know from past experience that once I get the first day or 2 over and done with my brain just "clicks" and it becomes easier. I then usually hit a bump in the road at 6-8 weeks so I am going to write myself a loving letter on my computer and save it to my start-up screen so I can open it if times get tricky! At that point I have usually lost quite a few pounds and trousers are getting looser but as I am so heavy, no-one notices!
The good news is that my central line is coming out today so I can start back to swimming next week which is my all time favourite thing when I can't physically make it up mountains!
Have a great day everybody.
Donna

Betsy— With regard to your trip to Alaska—I've been on a longer, rougher version of that road trip than even you are doing. In 1981, when I was going to med school in Houston, a guy named Rick and his wife Dru tempted Bob and me into helping them drive their two vehicles—a butterscotch-colored VW microbus (van) and a red VW Rabbit, alll the way up from Houston, up the eastern side of the Rockies, up the mostly not paved Al-Can Highway, to Fairbanks & Anchorage, and then south to Seward on the Kenai Peninsula. Rick had just finished his training as a Family Practitioner, and there were two General Practitioner guys working in Seward who recruited him to join their practice. They really only needed two doctors to cover Seward, a small fishing town, but the two GP guys were avid mountain climbers, and they each wanted to take long vacations to scale various peaks in Alaska—hence, they needed a third doctor. 'Sounds like an idyllic trip, right? Well, not so: the now chopped-down rain forests of British Columbia were thrilling for Bob (a tree botanist) to see, but Rick & Dru got destination fever somewhere around Yellowstone, plus the microbus kept breaking down, so by the time we were in Canada it was hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait... plus Dru got all freaked out about bears, because we crossed the territory of a genuine man-eating grizzly (it had eaten a butterfly biologist camping solo) when we were in the Yukon. Bob and I were relaxed and did have fun, but didn't get along with Rick & Dru's agenda all that well, so by the time they drove us to the airport to fly to LA and from there back home to Houston, we were glad to be shut of them. Still... some definitely gorgeous scenery and cool camping spots by glacier lakes remain in our joint memory. =smile= The road down to Seward on the Kenai Peninsula (where the biggest grizzlies in North America, AKA brown bears, hang out) is jaw-droppingly spectacular, no doubt about it. Make that side trip, Betsy, if you can!

Donna— I'm eager to see those lamb photos, too! =grin= Bob & I are talking about installing a grab bar for me in the master bathroom, so I won't be at so much risk of falling. How do I feel about that? Jeez, am I never going to walk again?

As for the visit to the chronic pain doc, it went better than I thought. I feel cautiouslly optimistic about being out of pain by the spring.

Right now? Sorry to be a bummer, y'all, but I'm still in a hellhole.

Back to winter weather here -- cloudy and big chance of some form of precipitation.

Fi -- Where do I begin. First, I'm so glad that you've got time planned with Grace. I was going to ask today if your visits with her had been curtailed, so I'm glad to see that you feel up to continuing them or more likely resuming them. Glad the pain doctor visit went better than expected, and that you can see light at the end of the tunnel. Interesting about Mike recommending eating the sweet potato, but it is a wonder food. Let us know if you can tell any difference. And I loved your description of your trip to Alaska. The road is paved now, but I know there will still be some nights where we just pull over and boondoggle in the RV because we've dawdled along and didn't get far enough that day to make it to the next campground.

Donna -- Oh my. You, Ubee, and me in an RV for 2 months! With Toby (the size of a 4th person!). Doesn't that sound like fun?! Please post the baby sheep pictures for all of us. I feel kind of like one of those heavily pregnant sheep right now. Please send some of you mojo this way!

Where are all of the rest of the gang? Hope everyone is well and just easing back into the new year.

Off to the gym and then I'm taking Bill to see Star Wars and out to dinner to start his birthday celebration. He's spending the day tomorrow with his girlfriend, so we're celebrating today and then the family party on the 17th. Have to go buy a lottery ticket tomorrow since Ubee and I didn't win. Have a great day.

Betsy ~ Yeah I thought it made perfect sense too

Ubee ~ Not yet, Actually I've lost 2 of the 3 work out dvd's I owned so I'm gonna have to buy them again so I can keep working out.

Lucy ~ Welcome to the group

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Evenings Guys and Gals,

Its 10:16 p.m. right now here in Kansas and I'm trying to catch up on my shows before I head to bed for the night. Tomorrow I have an appt. with my therapist and then from there I'm going to a Chinese buffet to meet my friend for lunch and then when I get home at 2:00 p.m. My mom and I are gonna go and do our weekly shopping instead of waiting until Sunday because we're suppose to get a snow storm starting Saturday night and going into Sunday morning and it will probably last all day Sunday.

Things went better on Thursday, despite my overexercising my right (bad) leg in the morning and thus being in quite a bit of pain by the time I saw Mike. But Bob and I got along just fine on the trip to Bethesda. I went into the Mindfulness Center (where Mike teaches classes in Qi Gung & meditation, and various other people do massage, acupuncture, yoga classes....) with an aim of being honest with Mike about how shitty my life has been of late, and followed through on that. He was in an especially good mood, which was most helpful, 'cause he was able to parry all my complaints with just what I needed to hear. When I related, as per Bob's request, that I've been saying "I'll never walk again" at least two or three times a day, while crying, Mike's eyebrows went up. He said, "As affirmations go, that's not exactly..." We both laughed.

After a long bout of chatter, Mike insisted on our using the remaining 15 minutes on my standing up—sort of to assess where I was at, physically. I stood up and remained standing for nearly a minute, then my right knee gave way suddenly, and I collapsed back into my wheelchair. Mike suggested that the next time I should have my left leg do 70% of the work. But first I had to close my eyes and rest (and emote, inwardly) for five minutes. Five minutes is a long rest! When I tried standing again, with the 70/30 split between my legs, I was able to stay up for over a minute, tolerating the pain pretty easily. Both of us were pleased.

Mike gave me some standing-up homework to do, then it was time for me to wheel back out to where Bob was happily absorbed in his Kindle Paperwhite (which I gave him for his birthday in late October).Those two trips a week to see Mike are made more pleasant, for sure, by the fact that Bob really likes hanging out in the Mindfulness Center. He calls that place "Chi Central." =laugh= (That's a "Ghostbusters" reference some of you may recognize....)

I was in quite a bit of pain by the time we got home, but the magic liniments Mike got for me about a month ago came to the rescue. I fell asleep on the green futon not long after sunset, and slept through the night. I woke up at 5:30 AM, a bit surprised to not be in bed, but pleased to hear a three-part chorus (one primate, two felines) of snoring over on the purple futon.

Whenever and wherever I wake up in the morning, Oscar always gets out from underneath Bob's covers and greets me with purrs and sweet nuzzles. Then, as if having finished a task, he goes back under, sleeping more until Bob wakes up.

Oscar is so attuned to me when my eyelids pop open! And when I'm in a lot of pain, he's quick to engage me either in playing with him (he brings the toy—something to throw or something to dangle) or in amused watching as he and Nénu play-fight on the top two levels of the cat tree. But Nénu tends to be the more attentive one during the day and evening. What a splendid pair of cats....

Say, y'all, I got through a whole posting without using the word "hellhole." =laugh=

'Loved what you had to say, Betsy!

Everyone else: please report on what you've been up to! I get worried when I don't hear the news....