I'm really frustrated about my knees—my whole legs, for that matter. The main two problems are that my hamstrings are sore, even when I'm sitting or lying down, and the severe pain in my knees, every time I get up. It doesn't matter what I'm going to do, every physical activity—it could be as simple as taking my coffee cup back into the kitchen—starts out, once I'm standing, with about a minute of serious pain. My trekking poles haven't changed that fact, but I am using them around the house, basically like crutches.

I'm hoping that I'll have the energy, and more importantly, the courage, to put my boots on and go out to the lake trail tomorrow and walk a little ways with the poles. My motivation is strong: I want to be able to get to two app'ts this coming week: Tuesday with my Qigong (chee-gung) instructor, then Wednesday with my regular psychiatrist (whom I see once a month).

Meanwhile, I have plans for two collages that are under time pressure: 'need to finish them by Wednesday at the latest. I didn't get much art done when Grace was here on Tuesday—just too freaked out by my failing-knees experience last Tuesday, and too exhausted by the pain in my knees.

Given how immobilized I am, I'm not very tempted to eat stuff that is off-plan. I'll use that as my dose of gratitude for today: I really appreciate being on track with my modified Atkins diet, because I desperately need to get a bunch more weight off my unhappy knees. =sad but determined face=

Kathleen - you have been on my mind and tomorrow I will be thinking of you all day!!

I will say hi more thoroughly and to everyone when i get my day off, Wednesday.

Kathleen, good luck tomorrow - - I will be praying for you.

Thinking of you Kathleen. *hug*


Hope everyone had a good Sunday. It was in the 50's here in Ohio.


Fi, sorry your knees are bothering you so much. I am glad, however, that you are so determined to lose some more weight. Good for you!!!!

Hello everyone, I'm new around here I wanted to see if I could join in.

I'm 36 years old, married, with 7 and 5 year old daughters. I've dealt with depression and anxiety pretty much since I was a teenager. I would get on antidepressants, feel over the moon, and then eventually come crashing down. I also had a lot of mood swings and irritability. It wasn't until I was 30 that I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Type II, and suddenly all of the experiences I had up to that point fit. My problem is that I have a hard time accepting that I'm bipolar, I don't like to think about it, which means a lot of time I don't take my medicine. I've been overweight all of my life, and unfortunately about 2 years ago I had a full on complete manic episode - none of this hypomania I was used to. I engaged in some impulsive and dangerous behaviors, but was able to get myself back on track. Only problem is that I got back on track by taking Depakote, which caused me to gain 30 pounds. I was already significantly overweight, so an extra 30 pounds was devastating, and even after I stopped Depakote I couldn't seem to get the weight off and continued to put on weight even more easily. But I'm trying to get myself back on track, with both my physical and mental health. I know when I take my meds I can do well (I'm on Lamictal, Abilify, and Klonopin) but it's just so hard to force myself to remember to do it, since I'm so scattered most of the time. But I know I can't lose weight until I get myself in better mental shape and organize my life and my mind.

Thanks for listening!

Thinking about you, Kathleen....

Welcome to the thread, Minerva!

Fiona W and IBelieveInMe2

Thank you for your replies! I am still figuring out how to work the forum properly! Thank you all for your patience First off, thanks for the book recommendation, I slipped on to amazon and looked it up! I do feel that I am sabotaging myself with my mini goal of getting to ONEderland! I am so close but keep letting it slip away! I am hoping this week is the week I allow it to happen! I am my own worst enemy!

Kathleen, my thoughts are with you, hopin' your post-surgical recovery goes well....

I just did my 600 leg raises with my left leg, which is the one I do on odd-numbered days. Tomorrow will be the 12th, so I'll do 600 with my right leg then. That's what I'm doing to get my legs in better shape. I thought about you—you who's reading this posting—with every single leg raise. And I thought about all the rest of the wonderful people on this thread: you help me be strong! And it's not just my upper legs, either: in between each of the five sets of leg raises, I work on my lower legs.

And it sure does take a lot of strength to do all 600 leg lifts, y'all, but they'll get easier day by day. And they worked before to stabilize my left knee, all the way back in February 2012, when I fell on my own stairs and injured that knee.

Soft tissue injury, huh? Well, I ate on plan on Monday, Tuesday, and today, Wednesday, so I'm on a roll here... just watch out! I want to drop some 50 pounds more to get this awful weight off. And then I don't know how many pounds more to get to my good stable weight.

I'm on it. I'm a-workin' on it.

And, lest I forget, today I'm grateful for my two marvelous kittens—orange tabby oriental shorthairs. That's Oscar on the left and Nénu (nay-noo) on the right. They make me laugh, and that sure is a good thing, these days...

Aww Fiona, your kitties are adorable! I love cats, I can understand how they make you feel better.

It's so inspiring to realize how the support you have received can help you through those tough times, and tough exercises! I need to use you for inspiration because I have had such a bad week with my emotional state, which has led to a bad eating week.

My job has been stressing me out so much, I have all of these new responsibilities, having to do a job I'm really not trained to do, and it's overwhelming. I've been trying to find another job but nothing has worked out. Yesterday I just lost it, kept crying for no real reason, and it just wouldn't stop. What ticks me off is that since I've started trying to lose weight I've actually been taking my meds! For about 3 weeks, which is a major milestone for me. Yet I still have a major depressive episode starting, which has been building for a while.

I took tomorrow off work, since I didn't have any appointments on my schedule, to just try to clear my head and get back on track. The goal is to do some serious meal planning and prepping this weekend because we've ended up getting fast food TWICE this week since neither me nor my husband had felt like cooking. I don't even care if it's exactly what I told myself I should be eating, just prepping some meals so we get no fast food again is at least a start.

Thinkin' about: all of y'all
Food: low-carb
Exercise: 600 leg raises
Grateful for: journal of letters (Bonnie Jeanne)

Thanks so much for the comments about my kittens! I always have a hard time figuring out how to thank them for posing for me, because by the time I get your messages, the kittens have wandered on to a new location. Gotta remember to give them extra petting right after I take the shot. And petting kittens is obviously a treat for me, too! =smile=

nicolas— I'm very impressed with you for being so close to 199. I've been plateaued on 275 for nearly a year, and I'm getting sick of it. But I've been so very stressed out (don't worry: I won't go into details) for about 11 months (ever since the kittens were born), it's actually an achievement to have more or less stayed on a plateau. Do you guys know that positive stresses—like getting new kittens, a new job, a new spouse, weight loss, and so on—are just as hard on your body as the negative ones we more commonly think of as "stress"? So try to view your current weight as a kind of positive stress, because it sure seems to be stressing you in the weeks before you actually cross that magic line.

nicolas (and others)— Here's something I find very helpful: Lie down at least one a day and take sloooow belly breaths, as if your belly were a balloon filling up with air, then hold your very full breath for a couple of seconds, then sloooowly let the air out of that balloon. Imagine the slow increase and slow decrease as if they were a slowly trickling stream. And repeat, at least 20 times. It'll take a few sessions of that before you get good at the slowness part of it, but it's worth the effort, because breathing that way has been shown to activate the "executive" part of your brain (right behind your forehead bone), the part that is responsible for rational decision making—not only in your eating behavior, but also in all those other "will do" and "will not do" decisions we make every day.

Minerva— Please remember: when you're about to order fast food, there are fast food options that help you lose weight—salad bar, burger without a bun, Chinese food in the dietetic secion of the menu (think: no sauce, no rice). Get good at identifying carbs, and you'll be less tempted. Carbs are the bad guys in anyone's diet! And there's no reason you have to cook to go on a low-carb diet: I can't stand cooking, so I like the fact that my lunch is sliced turkey already in its useful package, and my salad is a fast-food salad. I love the Greek salad I order from our local pizza delivery. I've bee surprised by how easy it is to eat just that salad (feta! black olives! yummm... ) while other folks are eating pizza.

nicolas - That's wonderful to be so close to your mini goal! I wish you much success in getting there what an accomplishment.

Fiona - You are so right about finding the right fast foods, I need to think more like that. Because I can make better choices even if we do end up with fast food. I wanted to eliminate it completely, but that might be too lofty of a goal for right now.

I was so close to getting some serious meal prep done this weekend, but it didn't happen. Yet I've managed to lose several pounds in just a few days, although I don't recommend this method: I have strep throat! I have felt bad since late Friday evening, and with having a fever and it hurting so much to swallow, I haven't eaten much in four days. I made it into the doctor yesterday and tested positive for strep. After two doses of antibiotics, my fever is gone and I can swallow liquids, but still not much food yet. I know whatever weight I've lost will just come back on quickly once I start eating again though. I have been trying to lose weight, but catching strep was not the way I had planned on doing it, lol.

First off - WOW> I love this thread/forum. I am new so here's a bit about me: I am a 41 year old teacher, single mother of 3 boys. I have been married and divorced twice. In a nutshell, I have come to realize that depression and anxiety have really messed me up in many facets of my life. This includes my weight getting to 175 where it is now. I understand that for some, that may not seem bad but for me it isn't healthy. I used to have issues with bulimia, etc. I have been successful using South Beach in the past ... kind of adapting that this time.

As for my meds, etc. I too (Minerva) was diagnosed with BiPolar II. I can't take Lamictal so I take Lithium, Lexapro and Gabupentin. The Gabs help the most. I love to self-medicate with alcohol but a) it is bad overall, b) probably a huge reason in my chubbiness, and c) had a little legal mishap that says no more of that for a few months. SOOOOO, I am learning to change my life- to be a better mom, a better person. SIGHHHH.

This site looks so amazing for support. I can't wait to "chat" with you more. Thanks for all you do - for the lurkers you are helping and don't even know it!