This thread should be a sticky!

What I've noticed is a few people lately and I'm sure it's always been this way, but they come and they ask questions like they want help and advice and but then they are completely resistant and seem offended when they don't hear what they want to hear I guess.

There are so many forums for people who adjust diets to their own personality and needs...that work for them...why such a visceral reaction to a safe forum...{not threads...} for a prescribed diet?

No one has made any point as to why that narrow need should not be met and exist. Nada...zipp none.

I been on IP for about 6 months and have lost almost 60 lbs. I've had a few cheats planned and unplanned, but have jumped right back OP right away. I realize this is a "prescribed diet," but why the hostility towards people who make mistakes or have struggles or God forbid decide to eat pizza every once in awhile? I'm thrilled to death with my results and so are my doctor and my coach. A lot of us became overweight because of emotional eating or anxiety/depression, so being critical or stern of someone's mistake or cheat is most likely not going to help that individual.

Oh Lordy Lordy, Amen to that!

First of all, I think it is perceived hostility. Second, it is not about people who make mistakes or struggle, or even eat a pizza once in awhile. Heaven knows I can X all of the above.

I am going to tell a story, which is kind of absurd an not true, but I think it points out what the problem is.

I have a co-worker who noticed I lost weight and asks me for advise. I explain in simpler terms that carbs are restricted and the focus is on lean protein, and veggies. The co-worker says, oh, I have chocolate cake every day for lunch. How can I do that and do your diet to get fabulous results? I say, well, you cannot have chocolate cake every day and do this diet. You have to give up the chocolate cake and then once you lose the weight, have the chocolate cake every once in a while. Co-worker says,I cannot give up chocolate cake for lunch, but tell me please how can I do this diet, I need your help. I say, sorry, if you make the choice of chocolate cake every day, then you really need to find something else, because it simply does not work with this diet. Good luck, I hope you find something that works. Co-worker - boo, you are mean and unsupportive and do not understand my need for chocolate cake everyday. I cannot give that up.

Ok, that is all really silly and to the extreme, but co-worker is not making a mistake, and intentionally choosing to eat chocolate cake every day. The co-worker is struggling and unhappy, but until co-worker decides to make a change, nothing can really help. That is what I see in some people. They want the chocolate cake, they want it condoned, and then get miffed if they are told, um no, not on the diet.

OK, that is my fairy tale for the day..

I totally get that and agree that if you don't plan on following the protocol you shouldn't even attempt IP. I was just saying that people who make mistakes or intentionally cheat every once in awhile and make up for those mistakes by jumping right back OP shouldn't be judged.

I think people who plan on still drinking a glass of wine every night or eating chocolate cake everyday aren't compatible with IP until they are ready to give those things up until they are on maintenance and can have those things once in awhile. In my experience, IP allows for mistakes and cheats every once in awhile as long as I'm wiling to accept the set back and get back OP and stay there the vast majority of the time.

I think we can agree on that. However, what I have seen in some people is that they cheat, usually planned, then say, oh I will get right on it, and do, but something else comes up, cheat, and oh I will get right on it...so far, as far as I am concerned, no problem, because it is their choices. It is when after this repeating pattern they get on here and say, this does not work, I cannot lose, help me, and people ask for menu. From there it gets defensive because in my opinion that person is simply not ready to commit yet, because they are not owning their consequences. We have had people on here whining that we are mean because we say they should not have their "chocolate cake" . I have said all day, if you cheat, accept the consequences, do not turn on the people you have just asked for help when they point out that it is not on plan.

And now, because I am on maintenance and can, I am going out to dinner with my daughter and eating what I like because it is a planned fun day. I do find that all the IP training kicks in and I make good choice. Have a great evening!

That makes sense. I think in that case people should rely on their coaches more and re-evaluate why they are doing IP. I thought this thread was about anyone who cheats should get off the boards and not participate.

That is where perceived "hostility" or "judgement" comes from.
No one said anyone shouldn't participate. That was perceived.

There are, however times that I think people should evaluate whether IP is the program for them. It certainly isn't for everyone. That statement is neither good nor bad, it just is.

Unfortunately, not everyone has coaches to rely on, either B/c they don't have a coach or they have one of the crappy ones.

Every time I see someone saying there is hostility or judgment, I'd like to show them some extremely hostile PMs I've gotten. THOSE are hostility. When people get upset b/c they're receiving good, solid p1 IP advice for staying OP, that is their own mind creating hostility or judgement.

Btw:65 & drd...lotsa "likes" from me as I read today. So much good for staying OP and making IP work in our lives. I believe it saved mine.

I agree that IP is not for everyone, people need to come to that conclusion themselves. When I see that stuff on the boards where someone is constantly eating off plan and not losing and may or may not be complaining about it, I keep my thoughts to myself. It's really that person's problem that they're wasting money on IP and not following protocol. I just don't like to get involved in that stuff.

Suki..its the planned stuff...the intentional. And the telling someone else..it's OK... ?? It's got to be Ok for you. You should not need someone else to OK it for you. Giving or getting (meaningless) absolution {someone who does this cares not a fig for how another does...more likely it is consciously seeking company for someone's own decision not to comply} it is not the kind of support that will help.

It seems there are two minds on this..and sharing a safe place where the planned stuff is not going to pop up, be discussed, approved and become the focus on threads in a forum originating to give guidance and understanding to those who chose a difficult and specific diet is not only deemed OK by some, but there is the intent to indicate some success might be had with out total adherence. It is that mindset that disregards the methodology of how the diet is supposed to work best. It muddies the best information available, suggesting to those seeking to learn and understand that the guidelines don't need to be strict, and its acceptable to test the limits of ketosis. (On a personal level...I beleive this is true...it is OK for anyone to test.)

BUT...Talk about giving IP or any of the companies producing alternatives a cash cow!! Gotta hand it to you!!! LOL...Maybe that is the motivation!!

While it may be true... everyone is not insulin resistant..there are a significant number who are and will not see what the diet can do, possibly give up and lose both money and time if they feel the guidelines are meaningless....then discover the diet doesn't work so good because they have been led to think adherence is not a requirement for success.

And then there is the attitude of person A that anything person B might do is not their concern...even if the behavior/experience of person A was a contributing factor. Let 'em figure it out on their own? That's support???

I have never said every one needs to be 100%...or even close. I think and this is me..that those people who make that decision need to keep that a personal decision...and let everyone act/test if they feel they must on their own. Awareness of the impact our shared behavior has on another is a responsibility.

Once we decide we have the right to share...we own the responsibility to do so wisely and with care. And we own those results too.

Ha, I think it would be an empty board. My clinic actually turns people away if they feel their resolve is mot strong enough to do IP as written. They know it is hard and people need to be mentally ready. It took a surgeon telling me my hips need replaced to slap me int the face and get me serious enough to do it. Dieting is hard work and IP is one type and this board is devoted to that. If a person is intentionally not following maybe they should go somewhere else. Sympathy from people who have worked very hard to work this diet correctly should not be a given to someone who does not have the intent to do it as written.

Kathie, you started a great discussion and I hope to see this theme follow back into other discussions. IP is a tuff program, there have been many over weight people who have asked about my weight loss and what program I'm doing. When I say a few words about how restrictive it is it they don't ask much more. Regardless I agree that being overweight is more restrictive.
I support that this sight needs to stay committed to providing accurate information, support, accountability, and applause because for me it has helped me stay on track since September and I hope for many years in maintenance when I get there.