Great post!

I am of the opinion that yes, I was obese (currently overweight) and of course people around me would have realised this. Hence, I don't mind compliments. Maybe I'm just lucky in that I haven't received any back-handed compliments as yet. They have all had good intentions.

I enjoy receiving compliments because it confirms that I have actually lost weight! The scale isn't lying to me

ETA: I am now more wary about complimenting others on weight however, I don't want to offend anyone myself!

Guacamole - I really do know how you feel because there were many times I felt exactly the same way - except for one thing. First off, I'd describe myself as having average looks - nothing fantastic, but I don't make small children run away screaming. I don't think I ever thought of myself as unattractive. I'm not sure how to explain that, because I certainly knew I looked better by most people's standards when I was thin. But gaining weight didn't make me unattractive in my own mind. And I never felt unhealthy, either. But here's a story that should make you feel better. I think in a very short while people may still remember the heavy person you were, but the thin person will be the "real" you. My daughter lives about 600 miles from home. We see each other every few months - 4 times a year on average. So I've been heavy for almost all of her 29 years. All her memories of me are of a heavy mom. OK - I'll say it - All her memories are of a fat mom. Last year, I saw her at -30 pounds in March when I visited, -50 pounds in May at a family wedding, -75 pounds in August at another wedding, and -90 pounds when I visited in October. She didn't have a lot of time to adjust how she "sees" me in her mind, if you know what I mean. She only saw me 4 times while I lost 90 pounds. then we saw each other at Christmas, but not again until April when I went to visit. She casually said, "You know what? When I think of you and see you in my mind, I see your thin face now. That only started happening recently." I thought about that for a long time and came to the conclusion (non-scientific) that it probably does take a while for others to adjust. We all have that way we picture someone in our mind and then all of a sudden the picture changes. I really think that people will start to remember the new you and when the surprise is no longer there, they won't comment anymore.

1987 - my thought would be to never hold back a compliment - just be wary of what you say rather than being wary of actually giving the compliment. I think everyone appreciates "You look great." I'd rather do that than have them think I didn't notice. Or worse, that I noticed but didn't care enough to tell them.

Lin

I have been at the same (Still over 300lbs) weight for about 2 years I lost about 40 two years ago and have mostly kept it off, people still comment on the loss. I think they see me as thinner than I am because I am active. "you look so good, you walk everywhere" i've also grown my hair out a bit, i think it makes my face look thinner maybe?...

I just smile {slightly awkwardly} and say "Thanks I haven't really lost weight recently but thankyou...".

Silent - you just reminded me of a "compliment" I got last winter. I'm in a charity knitting group that meets once a month - for the past 6 years - but I am not "social" friends with most of the people in the group. It's a small group - no more that 8 on a busy night, sometimes only 3 or 4 - so we all get to talk and interact with each other when we meet. Last winter one of the members said, "I love how you got your hair cut - it makes your face look so much thinner." My hair was exactly the same as it's been for years! She had never commented the whole time I was losing, but I guess it took 90 pounds for her to see a difference in my face. When I said, "Thanks, but my face probably looks thinner because I lost 90 pounds," she seemed surprised that I'd lost any weight at all! I must have carried it well . . .

Lin

My mother in law is very short, and for most of the time I have known her, she was very heavy. I don't know exactly how much she lost, but she did weight watchers a few years ago and it was at least 50 lbs. She has kept off the weight, and now when I think of her or see her, I don't ever think of the "fat" her. She looks to me how I always think of her, even though I have known her since 3rd grade, and I am now 30. The weight loss did, however make her seem just a bit taller to me. That being said, I hope people forget the "fat" me and stop complimenting me, because it is awkward to me to have people making comments. I like receiving compliments on my hair or makeup/outfit, but NOT my body really. It will probably always be awkward for me.