We love you, Laura.

You've had a lot of good advice here, I'll just add a few quick thoughts.

This is SAVING YOUR LIFE we're talking about here. Extending it, at least. No matter how hard it is, you have to love yourself enough to do what you need to do.

One thing you can absolutely do right now is start tracking your calories, figure out how many you're eating on an average day, and cut down by 100. Just 100 calories. That's a half cup of pasta (not even counting sauce).

In other words, if it's impossible to change what you eat--or if at least it's not something you think you can do right now--change how much of it you eat.

As hard as it may sound to stop eating something you love before your plate is clean, once you've done it a few times you'll start to feel REALLY GOOD because you are in control. If nothing else seems doable, give it a try.

You CAN do this, but you have to decide you're more important than other people's food preferences. Eating healthy food won't hurt them, but not eating healthy food IS hurting you.

Take care of yourself, and stick around.

When you're in a situation where you don't buy the food, or you can't control what is served ... then change what you can. In this case, the simplest and smallest change is -- have only ONE SERVING for each meal & snack.

That is probably enuff change for now anyways. I think that alone would make a heck of a difference. Try that for awhile and see what happens.

To help you feel fuller, have a glass of water or tomato or V-8 juice before your meal; soup would do the same. Tonight we had pasta for dinner, but I had a salad first; and boy, was I full! I measured out 1 cup of whole grain spagetti and then put the sauce on top.

Have your meal, put your plate in the sink/dishwasher; and then leave the kitchen right away (or as soon as you can). Then distract yourself with other activities for the rest of the night ...

Small steps, LAURA, small steps ...

Everyone has already given you words of encouragement that I would have so I'll just pipe in with some CHEAP and healthy food alternatives, along with some math to show you how you can get started at least. My suggestion is this, since right now you have very little choice in what food is in the house, what you do have a choice in is portion size and there are a couple of alternatives of "get full" snacks on pennies that are also healthy.

First and foremost, barring any health or metabolic problems you have, it should be fairly easy to drop a few pounds just by making some small changes. Here is the simple math:

At 400 pounds and 6 feet tall, you need to consume 3277 calories every day to stay that same weight. If you were to cut down your daily intake to 2777 per day, you would lose 1 pound a week. Cutting down to 2277 per day would be 2 pounds a week. (You get this number by taking 3500 [which is 1 pound of fat loss per week], divide that by 7 days, and you get 500 calories per day you should avoid.)

Now, how to do that?

Step 1 is figure out how many calories per day you are really and truly eating. You need blunt honesty with yourself (no one else needs to see your food log). You need measuring cups or a food scale, and you need to face the truth. If you aren't honest in figuring out how many calories in have in a normal bowl of pasta, then you won't know how much pasta to cut down on. Take a few days and write down every single morsel and the amount you put in your mouth. Once you have that data, you have your baseline on where you can cut down.

500 calories a day is as "easy" as skipping 3 pieces of bread when you normally would have had them, OR taking 1 c. less pasta, OR 1/2 c. less pasta sauce. As you learn how many calories are in the foods you eat, it will be easier and more obvious to you what you can avoid.

As far as cheap, healthy filler foods, the best thing I just discovered is sprouting beans! You can eat a metric frakton of sprouts for so few calories its ridiculous... like tummy ache full. And it costs pennies to sprout beans. You can use the regular beans from the grocery store or order them online (garbonzo/check peas, peas, lentils, mung beans, adzuki beans). I use an empty pickle jar, a cloth and a rubber band as my sprouting vessel (no need to spend money on fancy contraptions they advertise online). Here is a very down to earth, no-nonsense intstructable on sprouting http://www.instructables.com/id/Spro...r-own-Sprouts/

I actually like to eat these at about the 3rd day when they are still bean shaped and just starting to sprout. They are crunchy and more of a snack of a vegetable then a salad item (I really don't like salad...). Anyway, this might not appeal to you so I'll stop blathering. I can say a lot more / give more information if you are interested. Just let me know.

Some other easy changes to get you started:
- use 1 tablespoon of butter instead of 2-3 in recipes / your pans
- drink a big glass of water between you first and second serving (you might get a little fuller and maybe not take as much on the second serving)
- switch some of your drinks to diet
- switch out 1 soda a day with 1 glass of water instead
- add water to pasta sauces so you end up having the same amount, but you have cut the calories a bit
- see if you can get the family to switch to a lower % milk
- get skim mozzarella cheese - taste and acts exactly the same as regular mozzarella but is 3/4 the calories of regular.
- eat on smaller plates (this sounds stupid, but my brain feels fuller when I eat a huge mound of food off a small plate than when I put the same amount of food on a regular size plate and it looks like a small little portion)

And finally, there is always getting a little extra exercise, but I know that might be out of the question. When I weighed 332 (and much shorter than you...), going a block extra was excruciating on many levels. But every little thing you can do when you are in a situation where you can't change the food in the house will help.

Just start small. Maybe you will only lose 10 pounds... but that's 10 pounds and you will feel better. Worry about the big picture later, and just focus on what small changes you can make for now in the situation you are currently in.

Sorry this is so long.

Hugs.

Laura! You sound SO P*SSED OFF in your original post, which, my dear, ROCKS, because your anger and frustration are going to help you! First of all, you are 22. Now, losing weight is hard, but at 22 your metabolism is still pretty awesome so when you start, you will lose FAST! When you get to be ( ahem) older like some of us, your metabolism slows yearly and it makes things harder. The people you live with? Parents? Roommates? Husband/ kid's? Unless they are lucky and naturally skinny, I'm sure the carb-fest isn't helping ANY of them. This is where you get to be the ANGRY B*TCHY girl. My family loooooves crap. They love junk food and sugar and white stuff. You need to sit everyone down and get all hardcore. Explain that you don't want to die and you are going to start making healthy choices and if they care for you at all they are going to be supportive. You can start small, banish white junk bread from your house and only buy ( you may have to go with the family shopper) wheat bread with fiber. Think of your own personal trigger junk foods and ban them, in my case, my kids LOVE Oreos which are kryptonite to me, so I let them have fruit snacks instead which I wouldn't eat if you paid me. Don't eat fast food. Don't eat candy. Like other posters said, if you HAVE to eat high calorie junk because it is your only option, cut your portion sizes. Ideally you can convince the shopper to HELP you and you can start having healthy proteins and carbs. BE DRAMATIC BE FIERCE FIGHT FOR YOU! Oh, and if it is any consolation, I know so many people who had WLS, didn't learn to eat healthy, and gained it all back and then some. it's just a tool. You can do this without surgery! So many posters here have! And we will be with you, supporting you, vent to us, scream to us, we are all here. go get ' em girl!

Thank you all sooo much for the encouragement and advice. I actually have made changes already, one of my friends took me grocery shopping, so I have fat free milk (I tried soy but it was just too sweet blech) whole wheat bread, low fat part skim mozzarella cheese, fat free cottage cheese Baby spinach leaves for salads, I actually do not drink soda or juice because they're too sweet, I drink water constantly it's basically all I drink. I'm working on the portion control I can't say there has been VAST improvement but I am using smaller plates and let the family eat before I do so that way it kind of forces me to eat less because there is less if that makes any sense at all. I've begun tracking my calories and damn I eat a lot of them lol so I'm working on what I can cut out and substitute. And I am going to start taking the dogs for early morning walks around the neighborhood we'll see how that goes. But like I said in the beginning I just wanted to thank you all for the and encouragement and I will definitely be coming back for more support and advice

Hi Laura, happy to hear you got some healthy foods at the store, eating healthier plus walking is a great combo! Best of luck to a happy healthier you! You so can do this!

Laura, Best of luck to you...and smile. You are doing what's right for you. You will be more attractive and healthy every month you stick to a diet plan. The secret to losing weight is sticking to your plan every day for no matter how long it takes. (And it seems like it takes forever)

Look at the before and after pics on this site and in obesityhelp.com. I do. It gives me incentive to keep going.

I am not going to get weight loss surgery either. I can't live with all the pain and side effects of surgery. I want to be healthy and skinny and not have to get painful plastic surgery from rapid weight loss. I made up my mind to do this on my own. Just like you are doing. It will take us a lot longer to lose all the excess weight, but you'll be healthier and happier doing it your way.

Hey Laura!

I'm in a VERY similar situation to you(20's, 400+lbs, etc), except that I do not have the pressure of others living in my house. I'd love to be support buddies as we figure this whole thing out! I don't think I can pm yet (not enough posts, but let's definitely get in touch!

Great Job!
I know how it can be living with enablers, my mom falls off the boat constantly and buys a ton of snack foods and I think " Oh this little bit wont hurt me" next thing I know I gained back all my hard work. So far it sounds like you're doing great! Try doing little random things for workouts too. I'm a student so Im home 90 percent of the time and rarely go out! But I made it so every time I get up to do something I do 20 arm lifts above my head. If you have stairs by you walk up and down them 2-3 times every time you walk past them! Little things like this will help alot and you can do it, Goodluck!

I'm not sure I can give you any advice that the previous posters haven't already said.. so I'll just say Welcome! Can't wait to get to know you! Oh and YOU CAN DO THIS!

That's unfortunate about your family. Growing up, my family was much like yours. The only way I was able to get a grip on my carb/food addiction was to eliminate all the triggering foods from my home. Since that is not an option for you at present, here are a few things to try:

Talk to your doctor ahead of time and conspire to make your weight a major deal (many doctors are too nice about excess weight) and have him/her really play up how dangerous of a situation you are in. Then bring your Mom or other family with you to the appointment to see this happen. May be enough to shock them to start making changes around the house.

Offer to take up at least some of the cooking duties. Prepare the foods you have at hand as healthfully as possible.

Buy some foods with your own money. A lot of produce, like bananas and carrots are actually really cheap.

Give yourself a one-plate rule at mealtime. Fix yourself a reasonable size plate, and once you're done eating, you're done, no more going back for seconds.

Treat exercise as mandatory! Start taking daily walks after dinner or whenever is the best time for you. Encourage family to join you. Do not let their reluctance to join you become an excuse for you to quit walking. When I was in high school, I asked my Mom to get me a gym membership, she scoffed and said I wouldn't use it. She told me I had to exercise 3 hours a day, every day, at home for 3 months before she'd pay for the membership. I stuck with it for a while, lost a chunk of weight, but lack of support from anyone caused me to eventually lose motivation. She threw it back in my face and said a lot of terrible things to me. The antithesis of support.

Stop drinking calories, NOW. No regular soda or sugar sweetened beverages. No more juices. Take it easy on milk, especially if it's more than nonfat. Tap water is always there and after a while you'll get used to it.

Shift your thinking to how you can live as a healthy example to the family, rather than being a follower of their culture of unhealthy food.