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Old 01-25-2012, 06:43 AM   #1  
Laura Roman
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Exclamation Young,Over 400lbs and Encouragement NEEDED


Just now I have finally decided to help myself because I've finally realized no one is going to do it for me. I am 22 years old, 400+lbs and I am sick of being obese.
Now I've looked into weight loss surgery and the like but the only problem with that is that my insurance has weight loss surgery as a contract exclusion the jerks, so it's up to me to get motivated and start losing the weight myself. Now here is where I run into problems, I am surrounded by enablers also known as my family. I love food, pasta, bread, and cheese are my biggest downfalls I love them and they are cheap to buy and prepare which means there is an abundance of them in my home. And before you say oh well just buy different food it's not that easy because I cannot afford to buy fresh fruits and veggies when I am the only one eating them because it cuts too much into the food budget for the non-dieters in the house. And they steadfastly REFUSE to even attempt a balanced meal, they are constantly buying pre-packaged over processed food and I eat it too!!!! Even though I am aware of how unhealthy what I am eating is I still stuff my face because it's there, tastes good, and no one tries to stop me when I go back for seconds and I shouldn't of even had firsts. And I know what you're thinking, well why don't you just stop yourself and to that I say if it were that freakin' easy I wouldn't be here asking for your help. I have no self-control when it comes to food and it's literally killing me.
Now if you fine folks could give me some tips and advice on how to handle my family's unwillingness to help me be healthy, what to eat,a good exercise program and a faithful support system I would be deeply appreciative.

Thank You,
Laura
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:26 AM   #2  
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Welcome to 3FC!
This is a great place for support.
As far as your weight loss challenges. Every person here has struggles and issues similar to yours. You can overcome them if you are committed to the process.

We are all surrounded by enablers, fast food, etc. If you can move out, that would be great. If not, go buy yourself a couple of pieces of fruit and some fresh or frozen vegi's - you could do this for very little money. Add them to the meals that are being prepared if that is all there is and focus on filling your plate 3/4 with the good stuff. At 22 years old, you need to take the initiative. You are responsible for your own health, no one else is.

Losing weight is very difficult, but it can be done. Use this forum as a support group. Moving forward and gaining control will also help you get rid of some of the negative energy. It really does feel good to start something positive.

Educate yourself and find a plan that you really think will work for you, something you can sustain for the long haul.

You can do it! Join one of our threads - great places to vent and stay accountable. Best wishes, and Welcome!
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:21 AM   #3  
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Laura, welcome. I congratulate you on wanting to take charge of your health. Do you have any income ? If you have any money at all you can purchase your own food,. If that is not an option see if you can get your Doctor to help. Would he/she recommend a nutritionist. Get somebody in the medical profession, doctor, nutritionist to talk to your parents , have it explained to them the dangers of obesity. Ask dctor/nutritionist for a diet /menu plan to follow. Look on this as a prescription to good health. I wish you the best.
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:26 AM   #4  
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Welcome. I am glad you are here.

It is so hard and scary to change. I spent the last 13 years being mad that my insurance company excluded weight loss surgery. I was convinced that the only way I could successfully lose more than 100+ was with WLS. I've read the studies. I know the dismal % for morbidly obese weight loss success. I let those negative numbers defeat me before I even started for over a decade.

I am my own enabler. Yes, unhealthy foods are continuously available for my meals. I have eaten too much of the wrong foods for too many years.

There are so many wonderful ideas on this forum you can easily incorporate into your daily life.

Track your food. Record every bite. Whether you join a website, livestrong.com, myfitnesspal, or write everything down in a notebook. Be truthful to yourself about what you are actually consuming. That also means to measure your portions. It is very hard for me to recognize proper serving sizes. Break out the measuring cups. I had to do that, so I would know how much I was actually eating. I now know how much ONE serving of cereal looks like in my favorite bowl.

I truly believe one of the biggest problems I have is eating more than one serving of anything.

Drink water. It is so good for your body. It helps you lose weight. It has no calories. An all around good choice.

Walk around your bedroom. I am very self conscious, and didn't want anyone's judgements about my movement. Just moving around your room, be it walking in place, leg lifts, twirling your arms. Anything is better than sitting on your booty doing nothing.

Read this forum. Check out the struggles and most importantly, check out the success stories. It can, and has been done.

Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaing your weight is hard. Choose your hard. (like that? it's one of the inspiring quotes I cribbed from another poster here on 3FC! I love it)

Last edited by rachaelm; 01-25-2012 at 08:27 AM.
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:06 AM   #5  
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Laura, unfortunately there is no easy answer to your problem. It is not easy to change old habits and that's what you must do to have a change in your life.

The solution lies in you. It may not be what you want to hear, but it's the honest truth. You are the one who has to be the change agent in your life.

Start by making changes you can do without money issues. A previous poster mentioned it...water. Regardless of what diet program you are on, they are going to push the water drinking. Lucky us...it's free! Start today and switch to water. When you're hungry between meals, first drink a glass of water before snacking. It may not totally quench the desire to eat, but it will keep you from eating as much. Studies have shown that many times we eat when our body is really thirsty. Plus, you'll get the added benefit of healthier hair and skin when you are well hydrated.

Avoid fried foods as much as you can and while fresh fruit and veggies are the better choice, there's nothing wrong with fruit packed in juice. (It's about the only way I ever get to enjoy pineapple.)

Start today eliminating the second helpings. Portion control was also mentioned in a previous post. You may not be able to control the foods that are prepared for you but you can resist that second helping. Train yourself to eat moderately even though you may be consuming higher calorie, pre-packaged foods that one would not normally associate with dieting.

At your age, you are not being force fed...you do have control over several aspects of your food intake even though you may not be able to purchase what you wish. I wouldn't be surprised from your description if others in the family won't be pleased to have a bit more for themselves because it sounds like you come from a family of big eaters...I did, too. It's part of the reason I'm in the morbidly obese state I am today.

I'm 59 and envy your 22. You have so much going for you right now. At your age your skin is probably still so elastic that you'll not have hanging folds of skin after you lose your weight. You have the opportunity to tighten it by exercising, etc. as you lose. At my age and with the health issues I have, that's no longer an option.

My hope is that you will tackle this while you are so young. It will make such a difference in your life if you do it now and don't wait until later.

Use forums like this for support on your journey. It does make a difference. Perhaps you can even find a no-charge type meeting in your area for those with food addictions and obesity. (I post in the forum of pre-packaged foods under the thread WonderSlim usually. You are most welcome to join us there even though you're not doing that particular program. It doesn't matter...we are there to support each other and to lose weight.)

It won't be easy. Not much in life that's worth achieving is ever easy but you will gain so much more than just a thinner you. You will gain better health, a better sense of self, and a confidence that you can overcome whatever life throws at you. After this experience, you will realize strength in yourself you didn't realize you had. You'll be learning and practicing your individuality amidst those who may not understand at first.

You may face some resistance because as we change, relationships sometimes change, too, and change frightens some people. My guess is that you may even face a bit of sabotage because as you lose weight, your family may be afraid you will judge them as less important in your life. Don't let that detract you. It is simply their attempt to keep things status quo. I have no doubt that your success will eventually be a proud moment and might even lead to their lifestyle changes.

However, you must accept the responsibility for the shape you're in just as you must accept the responsibility of changing it. Instead of viewing your family as enabling you, fire up your determination and make it a challenge to show them you can change. Who knows, with your example you might change the whole climate at your house! Quite often it is the young who lead the old into the new. Be that change.
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:24 AM   #6  
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Laura,

My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation given your home environment. I can certainly understand why you feel out-of-control and that has to be overwhelming.

BUT --- there is good news!!!

You've already taken a solid first step in the realization that you need to make a change in your life.

The best advice I can give is to MAKE A PLAN that is realistic and incorporates the context of your current living situation. Start with small, reasonable changes that will be manageable. Don't set yourself up to fail.

It also sounds like you need to seriously consider changing your environment so that you have more control over your surroundings. Given you are 22, I realize you may not have income to make this happen immediately. Consider renting an apartment with a roommate or two. I had to do this myself in my early 20s, and although I struggled financially on the low-paying job I had, it worked out. If this can't happen right now, make a plan. Even if it's a two year or five year plan. Work towards a goal.

Good luck to you.
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:24 AM   #7  
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WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME....Your story is similar to mine and so many others here. I know what you mean about it not being easy to just stop. I had to take small steps. When I started, I couldn't switch to a veggie-fruit diet. I had to ween my way down a little at a time. I made small changes that worked for me. I ate the same foods pretty much just smaller portion sizes. I struggled with eating tons of everything and literally had to pray and tell myself..."I am in control of me." I remember looking at my junk food and repeating to myself over and over again..."I am in control of me." It was hard but through prayer and several failures, my brain started to get the message. I also had to ask what part of me was hungry...my brain or my stomach. I learned I didn't know the difference. There are times when my brain has a craving and not necessarily my body. I had to stop myself to ask what part of me wants to eat. Lastly, I had safer cheat foods. Reduced fat chips, 100 calorie snack packs, low fat ice cream (Skinny cow ice cream is DIVINE). When my cravings won, I ate in a healthier way. When I want Chinese food, I go for a Lean Cuisine Asian meal.

The good news is that YOU CAN DO IT. Just admitting that you need to turn around is a GREAT STEP. (It took me months to realize I was a binge eater who had an unhealthy relationship with food). The good thing is that you're young and have the energy to go for it. Losing weight is hard (I'm still on my journey)....but so is being overweight (I started above 280+). I am personally CHEERING YOU ON....This is your year

Last edited by free1; 01-25-2012 at 10:26 AM.
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:00 PM   #8  
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Thank you for the advice and actually all I drink is water, I find soda and juice too sweet for my tastes. And I know what I need to do I know my food is high in starches and fat and where to cut back on them and substitute things I know how to do portion control and how to balance my plate,and I know what foods are high in protein and nutrients.
I know how to diet, it's just more often than not I fall off the wagon and I know it's unhealthy for me yet I keep doing it! Am I that self destructive? I don't know, but I've never done this online forum/support group thing before and to be quite honest I was googling tattoos which is not even weight loss related and ended up a member and posting my story. So maybe this is the cosmos way of telling me it's time to get healthy, so hopefully this will be my turning point and I can stick with it this time.
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:02 PM   #9  
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Also can one of you tell me the secret to getting a photo on my profile?
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:07 PM   #10  
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I used to eat all that stuff, all the time. On a spaghetti dinner I could easily down 4 pieces of delicious garlic bread, a massive amount of pasta, and usually soda or milk. Its not easy but you have to force yourself to have a little willpower. Start out by not going for a second helping at dinner. Use smaller plates so it looks full. If you have a separate income, and you can even in the slightest afford it, go get fruits and veggies. For meals, veggies should take up about 1/2 your meal, are filing, and great for you.

Being tall, you don't have to cut down to 1200 or so, to lose weight xDD so your lucky in that aspect.

Drink alot of water. When you feel like snacking, drink a glass and wait a bit. If your still hungry, then eat, if not, you avoided eating for the sake of eating

Start exercising. It'll help with the weightless especially in the beginning. If you can't afford to go to the gym, either use exercise videos, or start working your way up to walking a few miles a day. Use any excuse to just keep moving.
Start logging your food/calories in a journal. Expect that some days you will go over and don't let that discourage you. Once you start logging, you'll be amazed at how many calories are in your fav food. I think I was eating close to 4,000 a day before I started losing 0.o..If you don't have the patience to log food, make sure you read the back of the packaging, and keep an estimated amount in your head all day.

Good luck. Theres a quote going around here "A year from now you'll be glad you started"

Last edited by baker23; 01-25-2012 at 12:08 PM.
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:18 PM   #11  
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When I started my weightloss journey I was 375. I started back in september 2010 and in a years time I have lost 80-90 lbs. Its going to be slow, hard, and down right frustrating at times. WATER!!!! drink lots of it. You can still have everything you love just in moderation. Binge eating is a major killer and I still do it even with the good food. If you binge eat I suggest you start there and portion control your binges then slowly decrease what you are eating. Portion control is major detail. Make sure you measure everything. Have measuring cups galore. Get food scale. Read packages of cookies, crackers. SODIUM is bad..... Keep that as low as possible. Processed foods such as kraft mac n cheese is 450 g of sodium in one cup. Homemade is much better yoiu control the sodium level. Use spices and herbs to flavor your food. When holidays come allow yourself to enjoy them just not OVER OVER enjoy. There is so much more I would like to share with you because I know how it feels to want to be thin. Also KEEP COMING HERE EVEN ON THE BAD DAYS we are here to support and help you stay motivated.

Welcome and coming here was great start to a new you!!!

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Old 01-25-2012, 12:34 PM   #12  
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Quote:
I love food, pasta, bread, and cheese are my biggest downfalls I love them and they are cheap to buy and prepare which means there is an abundance of them in my home.
And...

Quote:
And I know what I need to do I know my food is high in starches and fat and where to cut back on them and substitute things I know how to do portion control and how to balance my plate,and I know what foods are high in protein and nutrients. I know how to diet, it's just more often than not I fall off the wagon and I know it's unhealthy for me yet I keep doing it!
Have you had a checkup? Been screened for insulin resistance? Because I was a cereal, bread, cake, pasta junkie before my dx. And that rang a bell for me.

Next... who does the grocery shopping at your house? Who does the cooking? Are you all adults in the home? Are there younger kids?

What about taking advantage of frozen fruit/veg? Then it won't spoil before you eat it if you are the only one eating it? Maybe start with making simple fruit smoothies. That's usually a winner for kid-friendly and people pleasing. Frozen strawberries, banana (peel and freeze in a ziploc so they are always ready to go), and OJ.

Think about the prepared foods your family buys. Exactly what is it? What could change about it?

Take it in baby steps.

A.

Last edited by astrophe; 01-25-2012 at 12:37 PM.
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:53 PM   #13  
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First

You've taken a big step by reaching out for some support in your journey - that's amazing and it will help if you come here. I grew up in what sounds like a very similar household. We were a big family (both in number and in size) and without much money we ate things that were inexpensive and that could be stretched to feed (or over feed) the whole lot of us. All of that led to me being severely obese my entire life so I totally know where you're coming from.

Personally I think at this point it has to be about what you CAN do and not what you can't. Maybe you don't have a job and can't afford to go out and buy fresh fruits and veggies but you CAN make healthier choices with what you do have available. You know this. It's difficult but you just have to make up your mind that you're going to do it. You're going to slip up but that doesn't mean you've failed - you just get right back on track and keep going.

With every step you take, with every healthy decision you follow through with you will realize that you have more control over your life than you ever imagined and that you are capable of more than you ever thought possible.


You CAN do this. It's not going to be easy but this

Quote:
Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaing your weight is hard. Choose your hard. (like that? it's one of the inspiring quotes I cribbed from another poster here on 3FC! I love it)
is SO true.
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Old 01-25-2012, 12:55 PM   #14  
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The one thing that has really helped me has been counting EVERY calorie even if that day turns out to be 3000 calories or more. You can do it on paper or in one of the many free online tools out there.

There's mentally something about writing down food that seems to work for many people for motivation.


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Old 01-25-2012, 01:31 PM   #15  
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I hope this isn't too weird a post but have you considered writing an email to Dr. Oz, Biggest Loser, The Doctors or any of those kind of shows. Seems like you have a good story and one that is very typical (living with enablers/not helpful family) of a lot of people trying to lose weight. You're also so young so maybe a student or just working full-time? It would make a good segment. Good luck!
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