i have had such a crazed weekend, it started off with hubby giving me crap on friday about the packing...hello asked you for a week to try on your suit i had to wait on you. then saturday rained/stormed like crazy after we got our hair done for the wedding (stylist was awesome she managed to get my hair into a twist for it too bad it was so windy all of us lost our tendrils and we all got windblown) i almost slipped on the stairs doing my walk down after the jr bridesmaid
wedding was gorgeous, bride a bit nervous (sooo 3 of us kept giving her some booze lol) once it was over hubby suggested checking out and driving home, couldnt check out and we were all super bored on sunday and too broke to go eat out. came home early and since then i've been stressed

Hi everyone! FPSJ Glad to have you back!

So I'm still 136.6 this morning. I maintained for six days while eating ice cream a lot. I wish I could have seen 135 but it was really about healthy recovery so I can't complain. I also went shopping again at the thrift store. If you want to read my exposition about jeans, it is below, if not, I won't feel bad. I got my scores on the hiring exam for full-time at my job and I ranked #1 out of the 27 who tested for it. I have an oral interview board and another background check if I pass that. Wish me luck!

I bought jeans about a month ago when I finally got sick of belting everything so I didn't really need more but today I donated all of those jeans that don't fit anymore. I am happy to say that the largest pair of jeans in my closet are now size 10 and need a belt. So anyway I donated them all and then I thought, I might as well go in and look through the racks. I live in a fashionable area so we get some stuff like Express and Lucky Brand. Today we had two pairs of "7for All Mankind" those are like $150+ jeans! I am a jeans label whore and an addict to shopping for them. If only I liked tops as much. Due to this the last time I bought Express jeans because they were Express you know? only to find that the joy of owning them did not make up for the tight at the waist but really loose on my thigh fit which accentuated all the wrong things in my lower half. Today I tried on Lucky Brand and found two pair that I love. One is an 8/29 and one is a 6/27 the six were really low cut but they hugged my booty and legs just right. I had a realization that I like having different sizes in my closet. I like that I have two pairs of size 8, two of 6 and two of 10. The 10s are big but comfy and great to have around for TOM. I don't feel like a whale in any of them, I am beyond sizes and more interested in feeling good and being healthy. I know now that I don't want to be a 4, I like my curves. Yay freedom from sizist attitudes!

I just re-started this week so I haven't lost anything yet aside from several calories by cutting back on what I eat.

It's been a decent week so far. Last week was a rotten one that included a really awful work performance evaluation that was more focused on interpersonal relationships than how you're actually doing at work. Got really annoyed at coworkers apparently "tattling" to the boss about my use of the internet. I work as a medical transcriptionist and we have to make certain quotas each night. We are required to do 80 minutes of dictated reports (doctors dictate patient records) per night, which is harder than it sounds some nights. Anyway, the boss sent out site averages a few weeks ago and the site average was 59 minutes a night, whereas my personal average was at 79. So even with me using the internet a bit too much (I admit, I have a problem with it), coworkers still decided to tattle.

Then I got reprimanded for not really being a "team" player and then giving red flags to the boss when I said frankly, I'm not there to be a team player; I'm there to work. I don't understand how you CAN be a team player when we're each plugged into our own little worlds, headphones and all.

Super-duper stressed to the point that I even called my dad to see if he would mind taking my resume up to the copper mine he's worked at for 30 years to see if I could get a job in the office there. I don't WANT to because it would involve moving to a craphole little town that I grew up in and had a LOT of problems (bullying) there and thus has bad memories attached to it, but the dramatically higher pay rate would be nice.

Regardless, I'm working on really focusing at work now and my productivity has shot up to an average of 105 minutes per night; and I -STILL- mess around online during my shift, but not as much as I used to.

I also was diagnosed with mild obstructive lung disease (asthma) today. I've always had exercise induced asthma, but the pneumonia I had in November has been wreaking havoc on my lungs ever since (infection is gone, thank god) and kicked my exercise induced asthma into full blown asthma. Lovely. So I'm on a steroid puffer for a month and if it doesn't clear up (it's likely temporary), I'll be put on oral steroids which I don't want because one of the nice benefits (sarcasm) of them is WEIGHT GAIN!

One good thing has come out of this week so far: My nurse practitioner (family doctor-like) weighed me in the office today so we have a "start" weight. She wants to see me in a month and she wants me to have lost weight by then. So I'm being held accountable to her, which is great because she'll give me a smack if I don't succeed (not literally lol) and if I do, I know she'll be there for some celebration, too.

Next week is a short week (yay!) thanks to Easter and I'm hoping that I'll start to see some progress although I am trying NOT to hope for that. I find that when I start trying to lose weight, I always get discouraged by not seeing results right away. I have to keep reminding myself, I didn't put on 100 pounds overnight; it took 10 years, so it's not going to come off overnight either.

Here's to positive thinking and looking towards the future

Hello everyone! I'm in the car with my mom on the way in for my surgery. It isn't until 7:30am, but I have to be there at 6:00. Today is also officially the day i'm back on track with my diet. I've got to go, we're almost at the hospital, and I don't get signal inside the parking garage. I hope everyone has a good day!

I have to say I for once stepped into a walmart and spent less then 30.00$ and only bought one thing that wasn't on my list which is the book something borrowed haha and even then I shouldn't have bought it but damn I need something to read at work!

So I'm detoxing my body well I read up on what Fat Smashers do it's a 9 day program, for the first part. I'm not going to go all out on this I'm going to pretty much do a couple of day's until all my fruit and veggies are all aten. So maybe a 3 day detox from TOM#2 this month and the crap I have been eating. Who knows if it doesn't seem that bad maybe I'll stick it out the whole 9 days.

Breakfast Is yogurt with Alpen cereal mixed in it (I don't think I'm suppose to eat either or but I don't care haha its a yummy breakfast.)
Snack, Apple
Breakfast: A mix of Snap peas, carrots and celery.
Snack: Bananna
Lunch: Salad with lettus, bell peppers, cucumbers and tomatoes

After that I'll go home, nap before job number two and then snack on the rest of the veggies I'll probably have left over for dinner. haha.

hmmm so I really want the Jillian Michaels Unlimited book, but I've decided to save up my tips I get from work to get things I want. It's a slower process but I think it'll help me save money in the long run instead of always using my pay money. What's waiting an extra week to get something right?

Well I'm home from surgery! Bad news is my throat is absolutely killing me and I can't even swallow pudding (i was really craving chocolate too...oh well). I can eat popsicles and drink water and Gatorade, and that's about it. I guess it's almost like fasting to start off my diet, except for it's definitely not voluntary. I REALLY want a sandwich and some soup right now....

Time to go take more pain medicine. My throat is KILLING me.
=/

OH COME ONNNN. I got on and off the scale no fewer than 5 times this morning, bounced between 129.9 and 130.1 (58.9-59.0 kg). Which IS it?!?!

I haven't really been around these parts recently, but I'm popping back in. I'm about to graduate college in 2 weeks and it's pretty terrifying. I don't have a job yet and I'm just moving back in with my parents (hopefully not for too long). I'll try to do some personals later; now, off to the gym!

Hello, everyone!

So, life has FINALLY settled down. I moved, I'm almost done training for my new job, and in the process, I'm back at square one. There was no time for exercise, and there was way too much unbridled, crazy eating.

I'm frustrated, and annoyed, but still hopeful and determined.

I did some journaling yesterday, and really thought about what it is that I want for myself over these next few months. I visualized myself in situations where I'd like to feel my most fit and beautiful. I wrote out strategies to help me deal with stress and comfort eating, and I made a list of "motivations" to refer to when I get the urge to mindlessly eat.

I took my first Spin class in a LONG time today, and I really could feel how deconditioned I was. My belly felt floppy as I was pedaling, and my legs looked so big when I glanced down. I was the LAST one to finish the sprint part, and the teacher pointed it out. I felt shame, but also motivated to come back and work toward being faster and in better shape. It was just the kick I needed. I know I can do it, too-- I did it with running! This past weekend I ran my first 8k and finished 10 minutes faster than an acquaintance that is almost a foot taller than me... that felt awesome! (my time was 50:18, solid 10 minute miles--- a year ago, I had to walk every now and then).

So, goals for the next few months include increasing my frequency and variety of exercise, continuing to practice mindful eating and distracting myself when the mindless munchies hit, and staying focused on my goals and the wedding I will be in this summer.

Whew, sorry that was so long! Now for personals....

Miz--That boy sounds exhausting.... you've got better things to worry about!
JLNichols-- You are such an inspiration with your perseverance!
librarygirl111-- I absolutely love this website, because whenever you get the urge to purge your brain of thoughts, or just to bounce them off other people, you can. No judgment, no worries. Just let it out! I really relate to your post, too.
lissa9501--Sorry you're feeling stressed Hang in there!
fromthebox--Congrats on your test scores, way to go! Also, love your approach to the pants situation.
rainbowgirl-- Read your whole post. Glad you've got a plan in place, and a positive attitude. Keep us posted!
Divinefidelity-- Nice to meet you, and hope you're feeling better soon! Popsicles?
Krampus--Hiiiiii again! Just caught up on your blog posts. I am choosing not to weigh until the end of the month... I give you credit for facing the numbers. hahaha
chloekinsicle--Hey there! I think lots of grads are in the same boat these days. Just gotta keep on truckin' and trust that the right opportunity will come at the right time. Have a good workout!

Fatpant - Him and I are done as of today. I'm sad but not at the fact that him and I are done, but the fact I keep finding these douche bags. Ah well. Glad you're finally settled in WELCOME BACK!

MiZ I take it you broke it off? You might be better off without him from the sounds of it, but e-hugs regardless!

FPSJ I'm really glad to see you back here. It's hard "re-losing" but it seems like you're really ready to buckle down and form healthy habits!

Hey Everyone! 128.6 this morning...went clothes shopping yesterday and got a pair of pants that were 7-8s at Aeropostle..have been wearing them for about 10 minutes and can feel them already getting baggy!! So I will probably take them back and switch them out for a 5-6 *yay!*....and got 2 medium shirts! SO HAPPY.

Besides that ..I had two AWESOME days off..got my babies their Easter outfits for church this Sunday and and I'm back off to work here in about 30 minutes! ...Not off again until Monday! So hopefully the next 4 days fly by! lol


Hope everyone has a great day!

I guess we did, no one has spoken to each other since Wed. and he used to ALWAYS comment on my status or even send me a simple text and now nothing. I'm annoyed and pissed off I know I shouldn't be, he's not worth it blah blah blah and quite frankly writing out a list of Pro's and Con's there wasn't even a pro on my list....So why should I even care? I think it's the fact that maybe neither of us have sat there and sent a message saying we need to talk. It's like kindergarden where if you play bf and gf and don't like each other anymore you just ignore each other and move on...I decided to put him to the test to see if he cared enough at the fact I wasn't talking to him and he doesn't. So now I'm sitting here wondering should I text him and just have a proper ending to it? Or just ignore it? I'm not good at ignoring it because it's just going to fully piss me off and hate him for being a loser *** douche bag with no set of balls. So I guess I'll send a text after I'm done working, that way when I get home and the conversation goes south, I can easily just delete him off facebook instead of having him delete me because that would piss me off if I wasn't first to do it. lol. I know I have issues....I'm definitely staying off Plentyoffish, clearly no one good is on that site!

I have an interview on Monday for another casual position on a different medical unit in the hospital I work at . Right now, I'm getting a call to come into work every 4 days or so... seriously! Before, I was getting calls like twice a day! I know when summer comes up, it will be back to getting calls every day because people are on vacation or call in "sick". But I was down in the GI Lab the other day doing IV starts since I'm having trouble with them and the manager down there also manages a medical unit. She said she is looking to hire casuals and told me to send her my resume. So I did and now I'm coming in Monday to "talk" and that she was very excited about me!

So if I get it, that means 2 casual positions so hopefully more calls to come into work I'm still looking for a part or full time line... but even if I get a part-time line that only guarantees me 10 shifts a month, I'll still have the opportunity to pick up shifts on the ward I get a position for and pick up casual on the other ward - so hopefully make full-time hours. Right now I work on internal medicine and a pulmonary unit, this new ward focuses on neurosciences (so strokes, MS, etc). Which would be good experience since I want to venture off into Emerg one day and having all this medical knowledge will be awesome

I've been stress eating a little bit this week and I have gained about two pounds. I am trying to stop today, but it's kind of difficult. I think I'll drink TONs of water today, to cleanse my system. I haven't had time to do my runs too, which might be a reason I am gaining weight too. Hopefully the scale will be below 154 tomorrow, that's my goal of the day today. lol, baby steps, I guess.

talk tomorrow everyone