Not the fun kind of revelation to have, but I understand where you're coming from. Glad you're using it as motivation rather than just feeling bad and doing nothing.

I feel like my head never grew into my 25 pound molasses-slow college/Japan weight gain and like Pint Sized Terror said, imagined myself as taking up much less space/being thinner than I was.

It's awesome that you used this as a wake-up call! In the past I used similar experiences to just feel bad for myself. People have said that I look more like more like 81kg than 95kg; recently I've decided that that's not enough. When I look honestly at myself in the mirror I know that I look like just as much as I weigh. It's difficult but productive being honest with myself.

I used to be the 'smaller' friend... my heavier friends would compare themselves to me and say we are the same size. I think it's because I'm a pear and have huge thighs that make me look chunky :/ But I've used those instances as motivation to lose weight...

So I guess that's the only thing to do, OP! Push yourself more and be as small as your friend

Now I look lighter than I weigh and get comments like "you look normal now", "stop losing weight", "don't diet anymore"... even if I'm still overweight! I hate those more!!! >.<