Sorry, that last message was meant for Georgia!

Web, thanks for the referral to eHarmony and for the advice. I just signed up with them and am in the process of filling out the profile. Already been matched to seven men and I find one of them very interesting. He lives just 45 minutes away.

I weighed in at 307 lb this morning. I think once I break below 300 lb, I'll feel better about having a handle on the weight loss. I think I was mentally hanging on to the weight since I got divorced because I just wasn't prepared to give up myself and my life to another person, and I wasn't feeling strong enough on my own. But now, I feel much better. I know I will continue to be happy living on my own, and I no long feel that I wouldn't be able to hang on to myself if I was in a relationship with someone else.

I'm still not prepared to be in a relationship. But dating is not out of the question. I think I could honestly say that if someone came into my life and he was completely enamored with me and wanted to marry me tomorrow, I'd be fine with turning him down. And if he was completely intent on getting married, I'd be fine with sending him on his merry way to find someone willing to marry him. I really want to be single right now. I want to be focused on getting really healthy, on my career and my sons. And my own social life as well. So much to do!!!!! And I'm only 50!

I'm single, never married. 50. Because of the house I grew up in I was never much interested in marriage. If that's marriage and family, no thanks

I've become fiercely independent. And I plan to stay that way.

Hi All. Being single isn't bad at all I don't think. I've been divorced now for over 20 years & they have been the best years ever! I certainly have nothing against having a partner/spouse/whatever but I do know that I don't want to get married again. I'm very independent & I think that's a good thing. I've done on-line dating & have met some really nice guys & of course a few losers. Goes with the territory, eh? If I met someone - great - but if that doesn't happen that's good too. I'm working on the weight thing & that is a priority now and I'm doing that for one person - ME! I plan on dancing at my great grandkids weddings! Anyway Congrats. to those that there is "less of". I lost the pound I gained last week so I'm happy. Keep on keeping on, eh?

I've been widowed since 1995 and I really miss having a life companion. I think I'm a darn good catch, and am at a loss as to why I am still single. I've had less than positive results trying to meet anyone, and over the years I have gotten more and more comfortable with being alone. Well, I don't hate it anymore, anyway. I honestly think eharmony would turn me down because I am so wierd. I find being propositioned by younger men (who clearly think older women are "desperate" and "easy") insulting, and have found the pool of prospects in my own age group to be small and pretty dissapointing. I've kind of let it go, I'm still open to possibilities but think it's a mater of fate or serendipity or grace or mercy and out of my hands at this point. I have one male friend, who is a widower, and we are clearly compatible and there is an obvious attraction, but something holds him back, so I've had to be detached about that too. It's pretty clear to me we would be great together, but it takes two ....

Meanwhile, I have a house to renovate and a whole lot to keep me busy. It's gotten easier over the years, I'm almost sad to say. Life is good.

None,

Yes, it's tough being a widow/widower midlife and to start dating again. It's perfectly OK to not want to date if that suits you. The guy I've been seeing is also a widower, and we met through eharmony, as he's not the type to hang out at bars and neither am I - and there's no way we would have crossed paths otherwise. Finding a compatible person is like finding a needle in a haystack; that's why we both chose the online route. Good thing about eharmony is that you can specify what age people are allowed to email you, so you can avoid the younger/too old ones completely. Your friend may not be ready to be in a relationship again - some widowers take a very long time.

Finding the right relationship is like finding a job, or even committing to a healthy lifestyle: it takes "work", perseverence and a long time to achieve. But I can't think of anything much more rewarding than finding a wonderful person to share your time and/or life with, and it could happen at any time if you choose to make the effort.

I'm on my own again...I'm 57 and have just come out of a pretty dysfunctional off-and-on relationship of about a year and a half. My confidence level is not what it was when I was young and pretty! Of course, I didn't realize I was pretty at the time. I've got the extra weight and I'm out of shape, my face looks older, but I'm also just scared...I don't even want to be as thin as I was at my lowest (123 lbs. when I was 32.) I would look awful. I'm about 163 now and I'd like to be 150 lbs. I'd also like to meet a man who would value deep friendship more than instant intimacy. I don't have kids and this summer on my own may be pretty lonely. I am doing Weight Watchers and Overeaters Anonymous, so at least I will have some new phone buddies, and maybe meet some nice women to chat with here.

Lily,
Sorry about your dysfunctional relationship, but at least you've ended it and can move on now. It's funny how when we're young we think we're overweight or unattractive, yet when we look at photos of our younger selves we realize that we were pretty hot back then! My youngest kids will be going off to college this fall, and I, too will be an empty nester for the first time. Seems like I'll have plenty of extra time, so I intend to go to the gym on a REGULAR basis, and maybe...what? I'm thinking about taking up tennis again, an old pasttime that I used to enjoy. It's also another way to meet people, both men and women. I guess my advice is just get out there this summer and do things that interest you that are around other people - lectures, walking in the park, volunteering, taking a class, etc.

Have been away from this site for months, 16 credit hours at this age isn't easy! I did want to mention that there seems to be some hostility for 25 year old blondes (skinny ones). Ladies, it's not the other women that is the problem, we were all 25 once, and they have a right to be who and what they are, even if it falls into the "barbie clone" category. Just think where the poor things will be in 25 years, living in a world that doesn't value them. Just thought I would mention these things because there seemed to be some hostile sounding comments. And as for non threatening brides, my ex married a lovely woman from the Philippines with two kids, and six months after they were married, she still didn't have a key to their home. Guess I just wished there was more female solidarity in the world.