My weight is totally related to my social anxiety, if not the sole cause. I was always a shy child, but when I started gaining weight, I withdrew completely. I can't meet new people, I only have a small group of friends who have thankfully stayed by my side, despite me always turning down their offers to go places.
I haven't left the house in maybe 9 months to a year, and the last time I did, I had to be drunk to do it. I refuse to go anywhere due to sheer embarrassment of how I look and how other people will judge me. I'm truly jealous of the ladies of my size who can continue with their lives and be normal, while I sit at home just wasting my life. It's admirable. I can't see my situation changing unless I lose weight, but I'm finding it hard. I get so hopeless because if I don't change, I will never make anything of my life, and I've already missed out on my best years.
Sorry this was a little heavy.

I to was pretty shy growing up but I had friends in high school and such. Then as I began gaining more and more weight I stopped hanging out and going to do things. I pretty much hide and only go out when i have to. I know this is probably not fair to my kids, and my mind realizes this to a point but I think my heart talks myself out of it.

I've barely made it through the last few winters, and only because I finally broke down and bought a light box and started taking a combination of b & d vitamins, plus flax/fish/borage oil. I usually gain 15-20 lbs. in the winter and get seriously depressed. I started low carbing this April, and I don't have cravings any more, so I'm curious to see what happens this winter. I'm hoping it will have an additional impact on the SAD.

I do see a correlation between social anxiety and weight issues - for many people, overeating is a coping mechanism. I've had social anxiety since I was a kid. I read an article recently to the effect that introverts actually have a different brain chemistry from the rest of the populace. We're very sensitive to dopamine fluctuation in the brain and therefore much more susceptible to sensory overload. It explains my aversion to large crowds, and reassures me that it is an actual physical difference on my part, not a character flaw or weakness.

I still want to find a way to overcome it, of course. My circle of friends is too small and I don't want to be hiding away from the world. It helps that I'm finally losing weight and feel more comfortable in my skin.

Are you seeing a counselor for this? When it gets to the point that you aren't able to leave the house, it's serious.

I know it's scary to take on the world, but you can't let it limit you so much. You are a valuable person, a woman made in God's image, and you deserve to enjoy life in all its abundance. Anyone who might mock you is to be pited because they're so closed-minded they can't see your value as a human being. If you let their judgement stop you from enjoying life, you're giving them power over you that they don't deserve.

You've lost a lot of weight - be proud! Remember where you started and keep your focus on the finish line. You will get there.

I think as I got bigger, my social anxiety got worse. I remember being so outgoing in high school when I lost weight. But then I gained so much as I got older, now I hate leaving the house. =( But exercising and eating healthy, it seems like my anxiety is starting to get better

I can completely relate to everyone in this thread. I definitely have anxiety about being "seen" and i don't want anyone to see me because of my weight.. I think for me it is worse because i gain and lose constantly so people will always comment and make a big deal when i lose " you look soooo great" so i know when i pile the weight back on i get embarrassed and don't want people to know i have failed..

It has gotten really bad this year tho because i am lonely, depressed, sad, and anxious and i always binge when i feel these feelings. Well my anxiety has gotten so bad that i cannot even go into a store to buy my food anymore... i used to just get anxious if i bumped into someone i knew who saw me at the store buying ice cream seeing i got fat. Now it has gotten to the point where i am embarrassed to go into the store period, even if i see no one that i know i am still thinking the whole time what are strangers thinking if they see me in the cookie aisle or when i check out is the cashier thinking "why is she buying all this junk?"

I literally drive to a store 45 minutes away, wear a baseball hat with my hair tucked under, and still have trouble grabbing an item if someone is next to me cause i think they will judge. Last Saturday I drove all the way to a store and couldn't go in, then i drove home, drove back and still couldnt go in and had nothing to binge on I will hit drive thru's so i don't have to get out of the car so the worker can't see my body but i still constantly think "omg what are they thinking about me ordering this?" It's shame and i have anxiety i am going to be "found out" of what i do.... as if my weight doesn't already show that yes, i do eat. Alot.

I have been seeing a therapist who thinks i shd be on meds, for anxiety and obsessive thinking,... however i am scared to go to a dr to get a prescription because i am so fat and feel like they will judge me and i have nothing to wear and don't want to be examined or weighed.

i too feel like i am wasting my life away... the best years of my life are going by and i am spending them watching tv alone cause i am too fat and insecure to be with any one else.

all i do is go to work.. and that is awful too.. everyone else is thin and then there's me.. the fat loser... i feel like i get the looks of pity and disgust... which of course just makes me more anxious and insecure

Oh Bellastarr, you poor thing. You're in a terrible place--much empathy and compassion.

Two things: firstly, it's important to remember that people are more focused on themselves than they are on you. That's just a universal truth. Also, their judgment can't really harm you unless you let it.

But of course, that is unhelpful advice if you're unwell--anxious and depressed. I really, really think you should take your doctor's advice and try some meds to help with your mental health. It does mean taking a risk and exposing yourself, but you can do it. You really can. Imagine--you could trade 30 minutes of feeling uncomfortable for the possibility of feeling *much better* all the time. That seems worth it, right?

Perhaps you could have your therapist call ahead and explain your weight anxiety to the doctor so they can skip the weighing? (When I've been depressed I've asked to forgo the weighing--even when my weight was totally fine.)

Good luck to you.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy we are so much more harsh on ourselves than almost anyone else. I too have started avoiding going out and doing things with friends. I managed to make myself go out on my back porch and let my children play.

Bellastar

i know, i try to tell myself that... but i guess it's just since i am so insecure and anxious..i notice EVERYTHING about others because i am constantly comparing myself to others and feeling bad since i don't measure up i was getting a little better as i got older, i would go to the store to get one item without makeup and not care as much where when i was younger i would never do that ...i had horrible acne and had to wear makeup to go out i felt too ugly and insecure and like i would be judged.. now it's the weight thing.

i am trying very hard to take the baby steps necessary to go on meds.. my biggest fear isn't so much the dr weighing me... when i do have to get weighed like at the gyno i say to them " weigh me but don't tell me" and i'll close my eyes so i can't see the actual #. something about knowing the # upsets me because it is never a # i'm happy with. my fear of course is the anxiety of what the doctor will think of me... i don't even have a general primary care physician because i never go to the dr because i don't want to be judged. so my big issue is walking into a new office and a new dr who doesn't know me and telling them i want meds that won't cause weight gain.. i think the dr will be looking at me and thinking "who cares if the medicine i prescribe causes weight gain....look at you now... won't matter... you are already gross" the anxiety is what is holding me back...

thank you very sweet!

I know how you feel. I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and social phobia as well. Going to the mall for me is very hard, and I'm not even like, super big. It just always seems like everywhere I go, people are looking at me or talking about me. I don't really know if that's accurate, but it's what I feel like is going on. More often than not, I feel like I am right. Maybe it's not just the weight, but it could be other things. I just don't like people talking about me or thinking negative thoughts about me.

I didn't have a job for two years and now I work at a hair salon. People tell me how pretty my hair is every day, and since I work with mostly women coming into the store of all ages, shapes and sizes, I don't often feel too let down because at the end of the day, they need me to tell them what products to use to make them feel good about themselves.

But yeah, I sit at home when I don't work. If I want something out to eat, I have it delivered so I don't have to go pick anything up because I don't want people looking at me. Sometimes, even if I'm super hungry, I won't eat right there and I will wait. All I think about every day is losing weight, but I constantly keep eating things I know I shouldn't.

The anxiety is probably more or less an eating disorder. People are still iffy about using binge eating disorder as a common day eating disorder, but it does exist and it is recognized by experts. If you have to argue with yourself in your head over what you're eating, you have an eating disorder. A lot of the anxiety stems from that. Therapy should help, but there's a lot of great information on the web and websites like this are really good for having a positive support system and place to let out your stress.

I too have severe social anxiety. I tend to babble and be seriously anxious at silence. I had to finally get professional help as to WHY I was so uncomfortable in social situations and i turned out I was Borderline Aspergers and could not read peoples faces. SO I would say something inappropriate and offend someone not realizing what I said other people didn't want to hear.

I "think" i am getting better and so does my therapist, but it DID take a therapist to get to the underlying issues and help me work out a plan.

I hope you can find a person who can help you as well, it is a life struggle, but it can be helped

KJ

Last week I started Effexor for social anxiety. I also have depression.
I'm hoping it will help.