[QUOTE=kaplods;3325077]

I learned that it really is true that you stop worrying about what other people think of you, when you realize how little they do.

So nope, no revenge fantasies for me. Been burned by them too many times. The reality is never even a fraction as good as the reality, so they were another way I set myself up for failure.[/QUOTE]

I agree with you on that point. Many people have been indifferent about my weight loss.I just feel that this journey has been about strengthening and loving myself to the fullest. Believing in myself most of all.

I do think it's really important to learn how to achieve one's own closure: when we depend on someone else's emotions, reactions, or words to give us resolution, we are veering into co-dependency and powerlessness. That said, it's easier said than done.

I read a quote once that said "No one who died over the age of 100 has ever been remembered for anything else" and I worry about that. Losing significant weight is so rare that people really remember it. Right now, at least, at work it is the #1 thing people know about me. I'm the Lady Who Used To Be Fat. I used to be the Smart Fat Lady. I hope this will fade in time, that in five years one co-worker will look at another and say "Remember when she used to be fat? That's so strange to think about now". I like--love--being not-fat, but I don't want that to be the most interesting thing about me.

I've had these kinds of thoughts in the past, and they ended up being a way for me to beat me up about myself and feeling negative about the way I looked. I feel like keeping those loops have made it harder for me to lose weight. people who are shallow and nasty to you when you're heavy are shallow and nasty period. they will sap your good feelings about yourself no matter what.

I've had men (and women) say nasty things to me because of my weight, I feel sorry for them, actually. that's a pretty immature and unsatisfying way to go through the world, putting down people around you.

if you can, be happy that your ex has found happiness in a new relationship. it's proof that you can too. sometimes two people are not in the right "place" to make it together. that doesn't mean you have less to offer a partner. a relationship is a two way street that requires both people putting into it all that it requires (it's not easy).

weight is such a visible issue. people have all kinds of issues that they struggle with that are not so obvious. compassion is a great quality to cultivate.

I'm 100 percent sure it's not.