Just needed to vent a little

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  • That's tough! U remind me of one of my friends -she was so frustrated about her parents buying all that unhealthy food that she ended up getting herself her own fridge! lol
    It's weird how some people take it so personal when u dont eat their food!?!? But still being able to say know to that cupcake -good for you!
    Sounds to me like eventually u'll win this battle ;-)
  • I find it hard refusing food from someone because I think they are truly offended when I say "No thank you", like their food isn't good enough for me or something...(that's never the case, it's just that it's always cake or cookies and I stay away from those things...)

    -Dhani
  • It seems like it's opposite for me. With my family when I told them I wanted to lose weight a few times, they tell me "you don't need to." I now live with my BF's family and that's the first thing that came up, my weight. I'm too fat, I eat too much, I'm wearing large clothing when I should be wearing medium or small. I've heard so much of it from my bf and his parents. It's kind of like they're ashamed?

    For the longest time I thought I was fine, I didn't need to lose weight but just tone, but I got tired of the complaining and arguments. Just 5 months ago I went on a diet, I got down to 140 (lowest ever since high school) and I told my bf's mom and she just gave her (idc not impressed) smirks..she's so hard to impress I swear lol. She just lectured me the other day nearly crying saying she wants me to be beautiful because I'm only 22, I'm so young.

    So now I'm like wth, I'm tired of her crying over my weight (literally tears shed) and my bf constantly getting onto me about it too. I remember when we first dated he made the remark "I've never dated a girl above 130, you need to lose weight" I was like you did not just say that sh*t to me.

    After months of fighting I decided I'll go on a diet and workout, I do notice there's some chunk on me in obvious places. But the point is, I get no support besides with food (sometimes).
  • Kruez2, I would count those remarks as verbal abuse!
  • Oh don't worry, I set him straight after that...I'm no pushover when it comes to being insulted.
  • Kruez2, I agree with Alexandra. That's verbal abuse, both from your boyfriend and his parents. You said you thought you were fine but just needed to tone. Now you're trying to lose because you're tired of their complaining. I believe that trying to lose weight for others is a quick way to failure. Even if you do get to your goal weight (or whatever it is that your bf and his parents consider to be good), they'll likely complain and argue with you about other things they think you need to change. IMHO, I think you'd gain a lot by losing the bf and his parents.
  • I'm always tempted to go completely the other direction and get just as upset as they seem to be

    "have some candy"
    "no thanks "
    "Why not? Whats wrong with it?"
    "Excuse me, but I am old enough to be able to feed myself, and I'm just wondering what makes you think you have to right to take that away from me?"

    Yeah I understand this is hard when its someone close to you offering you something. but if theyre that close, why are they trying to force feed you so they dont feel rejected? hmmm
  • Trust me I completely understand and agree where you're both coming from. But in a sense it's hard to explain, I just say what I hear and what I understand. His mother is Chinese, so when she speaks English it doesn't come out right. I mean yea in general it's messed up that she concerns herself with my weight I agree. But I can't lie I've noticed myself in the mirror too lately. I'm very stubborn when it comes to weight loss because I was so lazy about working out and eating healthy. I've tried to diet for YEARS but maybe this is the reality check I personally need to actually get it done.

    My bf on the other hand has never had an official GF before, so he tends to word things off too. So I have to remain calm and correct him. All in all though yes they said things about my weight that were quiet hurtful, but I can't sit there and lie and think that I wasn't concerned about my own weight too. When I'm being asked if I'm pregnant by other people, or looked at oddly, and I can't fit in old clothes anymore... somethings wrong. But trust me, this isn't an abusive relationship with either of them, just misunderstandings mostly but yes sometimes personal things are said too, but that's okay because they've helped me A LOT since I've moved in..in ways no one would probably understand.

    I appreciate the advice and concern though! (I guess I should stop making my post seems so negative towards my bf and his mother lol, sorry!)