I've been trying to lose weight since I was 5 years old. I've lost large amounts of weight three times in my life, but I've never lost weight so slowly - but so permanently. It's been at least five years since I had a significant regain. I've never ever been on a losing streak so long. Of course, I've never lost so slowly either.

This time is different - because I decided to do weight loss "backwards," from the way I always did it before. This time I decided only to make the changes I could see myself making for the long haul - whether or not I lost any weight as a result of them. The first few healthy habits I added, didn't result in any weight loss at all - but it got me in the habit of making healthy changes.

I've lost more and more weight each year I've been at this - dispelling the myth that you always lose the most weight in the beginning. For me, I'm doing that in reverse too. The more I'm able to do, the more I'm capable of, the more motivation I have for making more changes.

I'm not worried about regaining as I did in the past. Oh, I know that it's possible if I change my habits. That's why weighing every morning is part of my committment forever. I'm choosing to look at it like I do brushing my teeth - as something I never intend to go a day without.

If I stop brushing my teeth, I will lose my teeth. If I stop weighing myself every morning, I will regain. It's that simple. If I want to keep my teeth and lose/maintain weight loss, I have to brush my teeth and weigh myself every morning. I can handle that.

There are stories of people drastically changing their lives even in their 70s. When I was in college, there was a story of an 80 year old woman taking classes to finish the degree she had started more than 60 years before.

Beth - you've definitely gotten "support in spades" - and it shows thru your attitude.

Getting "down" about our weight loss (or lack thereof, LOL) is just part of the game. We have to keep pushing forward. I have had no trouble losing weight my entire adult life - shoot fuzzy fire! - I've done it about 7 times! But clearly, I have had trouble maintaining the weight loss, and each time I gain back the pounds, I gain a few more. It's daunting! - but I am still TRYING. I'll be 47 in August... I would so like to be 47 at least 20 pounds less than I am right now. So I just keep on keeping on.

And you have a very nice motivational phrase in your signature "Discipline is remembering what you really want." Yeah, I like that.

Beth, it's never too late to make changes. I started three years ago at 43 after being overweight my whole life and morbidly obese for the last twenty. I also had a comfortable weight of 233 that I was able to maintain with no effort for the majority of those years before going up to 272. As I got older I just really lost all hope and motivation that it was even possible to lose all my weight. I couldn't even comprehend not living in an obese or overweight body.

You have so many similar thoughts and feelings I just want to encourage you that it can be done. If I can do it; anyone can. Although losing was extremely difficult for me it was worth it beyond belief.

Best of luck to you; you can do this!

I am LOVING this thread. No sugarcoating, no hard selling. Just truth and inspiration.

Thanks to the OP and the responders.

I'm off to add some more quotes to my collection .

Edited to add:

Reading over my quote collection and found these:

The only time it's too late to change yourself is when you're dead. Until then, you're simply making excuses or lying to yourself. HeidiNicole 3fc

.......but my mental motivation is to acknowledge that the time is going to pass either way and I can either slowly improve myself as it ticks away or I can come out on the other end with no change. JustSharing83

TamiL, thank you for showing with your own personal success and experience that it is possible to change in our 40s. Because so many of you have taken the time to respond and encourage me, I’m going to try hard to believe this for myself. To take a leap of faith and just – believe. Thank you for posting.

kaplods, when I see your posts, I always read because you just have a way of saying things that make sense to me. I really like the “backwards” part of what you’re doing. I am also one who weighs every morning. It keeps me centered somehow. And, I also agree that the more I’m able to do, the more I become capable of. Hopefully, this will lead to me being able to do more life and love affirming things for myself so that I can actually see this plan through. I’m so appreciative for your post and insights and words of encouragement.

Beach Patrol, you’re right. Not too much in life is really easy. Losing weight slowly, giving up bad habits, a few hunger pangs – all part of the game and we just have to keep pushing forward. I hope you’re able to get those 20 lbs off before August, and I hope this time it’s for good! It would be a fantastic birthday gift! Thank you so much for posting and encouraging me. (p.s. and I love your Miss Piggy quote!)

Tai, thank you so much for your encouragement. It helps to know that others understand where we’re coming from AND it helps to know that you thought what I thought and STILL overcame. Congratulations on your weight loss and for letting me know that all the hard work is worth it!

MoveMoveMove, I’m so glad you enjoyed the thread as much as I have. I’ve read through it all several times now. Every thread added something new and important. Namely truth and inspiration!

Again, thanks to every single one of you and best wishes to all of us!

I was completely able to maintain 290ish pounds on the amount of chocolate I was eating every day, and the bare minimum of moving my bottom out of a chair.

But I wanted to not be pre-hypertensive and pre-diabetic, and I wanted to be able to ride my bike to work, and I wanted to feel cute and sexy, and I wanted to stop raising my children on junk food, and I wanted to cure my husband of sleep apnea, and I wanted a whole bunch of other stuff.

So I changed. That was 2 years ago. I'm 41 now.

Not only do I believe that people in their 40s can change, I am absolutely certain of it. In fact, when I look around at people in their 20s who are "changing," usually...to be honest...they're doing it in mostly unsustainable ways. Older people are often wiser, and thus our efforts to change are more frequently successful--if they are undertaken with real commitment and fortitude. We simply have more life experience to work from, and that's very important in making realistic, sustainable changes.

Wow Kitty! Your story really encouraged me! I am 42 and in the same situation you were in. I didn't have any major health issues thank the Lord, but I am sure they were on their way. I feel better than I did in my 20s and I am getting better all the time. I've raised 2 children, both in their 20s now and am currently raising my Granddaughter, 2 years old - I gotta be able to keep up! Plus I want to be around for a long time for her and my hubby.
I still have 84 more pounds to lose, but I feel confident with all the support I have and a balanced, healthy lifestyle, that I can reach my goal just as you did. Thank you for sharing - y'all never know who you will affect!

I would say mid-life may be the best time for making permanent changes. Through previous attempts you know what works for you and what doesn't. And you've either personally started to experience health issues or have older friends or family who are paying consequences for unhealthy lifestyles. I know I've always been one to argue that I may be fat but I was healthy, but suddenly both the cholesterol and blood pressure were borderline at age 49.

Each and every post, I can relate to.

* Yes, we must DO something* because NOW is the Good Old Days we won't have if we never do it. At least, that's how I see it... I'm still young enough to do the backpacking, and adventures with my DH, to make those memories to grow old on. Berloody Perimenopause though, for me, certainly is very difficult.. the hot flashes and irritibility are an hourly challenge. I know this weight is making it possibly 10 times worse ! I only need to lose 45 pounds to be at a weight which may not be my leanest, but that I think I could maintain (the weight I was when I climbed Mt Whitney, but had thought I was 15 pounds overweight) , or even just 30 pounds of weight off would be so much better, and I could more sanely face the weight loss.

We all must have our lifelong doubts and demons, and being 'middle-aged' (that sounds so strange, are we possibly not yet?) and peri&menopause just doesn't make the whole self improvement challenge easer. I mean, sometimes survival each day is all I can manage. I know it will get easier when I get past The Change, but then again, I just want to make my discomfort less by not being so overweight during it all.

I've got to separate myself from The Perimenopause Change, and begin all over again to see myself as a vibrant sexy desireable woman, instead of this lump of frump I've been feeling like , acting like , and seeing in the mirror now for about 3 or 4 years solid. Honestly, sometimes I feel like an imposter has moved into my life & embodied *me*. I really just want the imposter to leave now. Lol.

I don't so much want my previous life back, I believe where I'm at now could very possibly be the best yet, but I'm utterly miserable with this weight. I just want ME back.

Yes, you can do it at 40 something! As the old saying goes if you put your mind to it, you can ACCOMPLISH anything! For me I wanted to get fit & fabulous before I turned 40, and I done did it! I didn't have a ton of weight to lose, but I dropped the excess poundage that I gained due to an injury that put me out of comish for awhile & I ATE my way/weigh up the scale. At 39, I lost the lbs and I transformed myself by weightlfting thanks to Nightengaleshane who adviced me on what I needed to do. I'm going on 3+ years of maintaining my loss now and ahem, yup I am an almost 43 year ole lady, but yanno I still feel like a teenager with all my energy and people think I am 28-30 years old. Shhhhhh....

I wanted to post something about what I am currently pondering : that weightloss, weight maintenance, and even being overweight and perpetuating, is about self image primarily. Instead I started a new thread , the one similar to this one, and seems it got shot down immediately, so I'll just bring it on over here. Please forgive me if I am getting too far into a tangent. Okay , here I go :

So it seems to me that the older we get , the more attached and immovable we become to our self image. That is, the way we see ourselves in our minds' eye, not the mirror so much. Our bodies may change, pounds here pounds there, experiences from past may have given us confidence to believe we can live with a healthy slender body, or not. So the thing is, to me, it seems like my body is a puppet of my Mind's Eye. Once I /we/you can change our belief system, our self image, our mind.... it just seems so doable that we can achieve anything. The saying "You can achieve anything you put your mind to"... well, doesn't that support my point? Anyway, I believe Beth, that you, and that I , that all of us, could really get creative with working on our self image and make steps toward solidifying a wishy washy belief system into a rock-solid confidence.

I've heard so much about the workings of Visualization, and wonder who if any of us work on this ?

I actually disagree with this. I wouldn't have even 5 years ago. I have a bachelors and a masters degree in psychology. I've been taught to believe in the power of the mind (and I do), but I've come to see that weight loss and maintenance for me is not nearly as mental as I have been raised and taught to believe.

For most of my life I've had drive, determination and good-to-awesome self image, self confidence, and self esteem. I succeeded at everything I attempted, except weight loss. I kept trying though - almost 30 years of trying (I took a few years off after I found "fat acceptance" to test the theory that dieting causes more weight gain than weight loss, and what do you know I did stop gaining weight, and never gained a pound during those years - until I started dieting again).

What has finally led to my finding success is finding (accidentally for the most part) keys that I either didn't know existed or didn't know could be addressed. Physiological issues primarily. 1. Horomonal issues (virtually put an end to TOM cravings and crazy hungry issues - with the right birth control. I can no longer take the one that works best, because I can't afford it and Medicare doesn't pay for it anymore. So I what I take now, works better than nothing. 2. Giving up crash dieting. What do you know, when I gave up crash diets, my "binge eating disorder," vanished. Just vanished. No psychotherapy, no self-image changes, no willpower - all it took was refusing to get on the typical "diet rollercoaster" that I knew. 3. Sleep apnea. When I was prescribed the cpap machine (that blows air down your nose and mouth), the doctor said I'd probably lose some weight without dieting - I laughed, but then I did. I've never lost weight without trying in my life, so I started experimenting to see what else I could lose without "dieting." It took me over a year to find something else. 4. Low-carb. If I eat low enough I'm not hungry at all (I can even forget to eat - and I tell you THAT was a new experience). I'm still struggling with eating low enough, for many reasons. One being I can't get it out of my head that it's "Unhealhty," because my college coursework, the media, and until recently my doctors all told me how unhealthy low-carb eating was (which is why I never gave it much of a chance in almost 4 decaded of dieting history), and 40 years of high-carb habits. Now that my doctor is behind the low-carb eating, I'm doing better and better, but living low-carb in this country still requires considerable upstream swimming, but the more practice I get in, the more sucess I'm having.


All of my life, I never understood why losing weight was so different than everything else I tried, and I realize now it's been because I've been looking for the wrong solutions. I've been looking for psychological issues that didn't exist, and I neglected to see the physiological issues that did. Maybe for some people, the reverse is true - they're looking for physical reasons/physical solutions when they need to look at the psychological. Maybe. Although I think because we're told "it's in our head," more often than we're encouraged to look for physiological factors (anyone who does so is accused of "looking for" or "making" excuses. And I'm ashamed to say I was one of those people until relatively recently).

Obesity is a multifaceted issue, and whenever we try to reduce it to a simple one, I think we make it more difficult to overcome, not easier. 30 years of "mind over matter" and "determination alone can do anything" advice got me nowhere. I'm not dismissing the role of willpower and determination - I'm just saying that just focusing on those two may not be enough. If you don't address all of the issues, not just one or two, you may be making the task more difficult than it has to be.

Hermitgirl...you & I seem to be in the same boat. I'm almost 47 - and going thru perimenopause with all the accompanying hormonal Bull**** and it just really seems MUCH HARDER to lose a few pounds on this go-round for me. Some women don't have such horrible hormonal issues, but apparently you do - and so do I. There are days when I just want to kill the whole world, and days I want to cry for it. Most days I seem to do OK, but then *something*whatever* happens and I just slam-slide back into old habits & suddenly I don't give a crap anymore. But the next morning, the sun shines thru those clouds, and I feel hopeful again. It definitely IS a daily battle.

Just wanted you to know that YOU'RE NOT ALONE!

I will just make a brief post about sleep apnea. I have another thread and if people are interested they can look there. But the biggest change I made in my 40s was finally getting myself tested for sleep apnea and then treated.

A lot, not everyone, but a lot of overweight people have sleep apnea. Not only can it be nearly impossible to lose weight if you have sleep apnea and it isn't treated, but it can also lead to a lot of very serious health consequences.

And over 93%, 93% of women with sleep apnea do not get tested. It is over 82% for men. I personally think if you want to lose weight and you snore and are overweight that is enough to get tested. Even if you don't snore and I was overweight I would want to get tested (not everyone who snores has it, not everyone who does not snore does not have it). In any event up to you.

BTW no one likes the idea of wearing a mask, but I can tell you I like my life 100 times more now after getting treated. A mask on while asleep is a tiny, insiginifcant 'cost' for the benefits.