Hey all!! Just to let you know I am still alive and kicking.


Melody you are doing so good. isn't life wonderful when you can laugh and smile?? even if you are broker that dog doo doo (sorry for the pun! ) keep that chin up and keep smileling.

Pam ai am sorry that DH is officially off work but you know it will be for the better for him. hopefully soon you will be able to get him back to feeling needed. I know you are so good at that. you have pulled me out of many a slump!

Terri so glad to see you again!!

Pat how are things with the house. I will say that today is a new day for getting back Op for me so watch out!1 i am ready to go full force i have new anmunition thanks to your post for loralie in the 100"s yesterday you opened my eyes!!!

well i am late to exercise! see you all later!

Well Hello everyone....

Life is not grand at present! 14 months ago I had my gall bladder removed...well it feel s like I am having a gall bladder attack...and guess who gets to go see her doctor, because I shouldn't be hurting this way??? That's right me! I hate going to the doctor, but I really should go. I have alot of things doing on right now that I really should talk to him about.

Life would be so much tolerable if I had a big hunk to keep me company once in awhile. Speaking of hunks...How was the anniversary "celebration" Terri? It was good to hear from you.

Well I am just rattleing on so I will go! Have a great Friday!

how are you feeling?? are you any better?

I just ha terrible news. my very good friend from the last 16 years (although i have not seen her in several years) just lost her 21 year old son. in a car accident. I am heart broken for her. he did have twin boys several years old but the mom and him are seperated. I will go to the wake tomorrow.

Oh Sue I am so sorry about your friend's son! That is sooo sad. I will keep her and you in my prrayers.

I had such a good night last night...went to the bar and had all kinds of men hitting on me...it was crazy and so much fun!!!

Also I weighed myself this AM and I am down to 188....that's 4 more pounds!!! It has been really easy the last couple days to stay OP, and I ran for the first time yesterday!!!! Also i guess dancing all night probably helped out some too...my legs are looking so good...and my arms...I am not ashamed of them anymore!!! Life is good today!

Kids had to go visit Loser today! I'll let you chicks know how it went tomorrow...

I love you guys! I'll check in on you tomorrow! Sue...You are in my thoughts!

It was a hard day TOM, Head cold, and the wake!! totally off plan but back OP for tomorrow and the rest of the week!!

melody that is such a great feeling. I am so glad to see you taking such control of your life!! just see you last year at this time!! or when you wanted to start BFL and were put down for the thought!!! look at your self now!!!

Hey everyone...

By the way where is everyone???

Well my kids visit with the EX went well...My sister said that Josh is wearing a wedding band!!!!! I guess he married that HO he has living with him....it upset me last night, but oh well, I am better today...I just let it slide right on off my skin. I just felt like it was a slap in the face to me....we have only been broken up for a month and a half. But you know what...I am better off with out him...he is such a loser...I am happy now...thinner now...and at the rate i am going I will be a hottie by Christmas! My jeans are baggy, I love it!

I am definitely thinking about going out and having some really cheap and meaningless sex...I don't want a relationship, but I am really missing the physical aspect of a relationship...so I think I am angry enough to be able to use some worthless man for his equipment...but, the problem is I am chicken sh*t!!! I have only been with one guy in the last 8 years...so it will be weird I am sure...I guess I will just have to get pretty intoxicated first. Oh, welll! who knows? I am constantly changing my mind...I may not want to tomorrow...my moods are so weird now-a days...

Well ladies...have a good day...and Sue, I know you will hop back on the "OP" wagon! PAt...where are you??? I miss ya!

Melody get a "BOB". that is what my friend calls it. they last as long as you want them, stay ready till you are done and well are ready whenever you are!!! I am sorry that he is putting you through that and good luck to the bimbo who has him now!! just imangine what she will end up with. do not feel bad. if he was that much of a prize then he would not have done all the thngs he had done be glad he is gone (I know it dose hurt) but look how much better you are for that.

Pat????

Pam????

Terri????

Lee???

Dana??? (are you ther honey?? I miss you)

So far today I am OP. day 1

Melody....... I totally understand the feeling but don't cheepen yourself by trying to show him. He is worth it and you are far better than that. Having a fellow around to visit for the weekends or whatever can be a good thing but just remember you came from a dependant relationship and have to overcome that need inside. Also from years of experience I know that MOST women when they are sexually involved can not help but become emotionally involved. Break a few old patterns before you just jump right into any relationship in which you share the most valuable part of yourself with another person. Your body and your intimasy. Just a word to the wise. I pray for you to know you do not need someone there as you are enough for anyone including yourself and the wisdom to know when to choose someone for your life that you WANT to share a life with just because he makes you feel more than you are, treats you like a queen and always wants the best and nothing for the best for you and your children.

As for me I have spent the day on the phone with the Bank note on our home, credit card companies(thank God I kept payment protection on these),car finance companies and so on.Everyone knows what is going on and we may back on one house payment but I hope not, we shall see. We may not have an income for a couple of months either so dieting will be so easy!!!!!! See there is a sliver lining to everything !! LOL. This is going to be a real struggle but when it is over it will never happen again. Thank You God. We will get back on track and all will be oh so well! These Holidays will be full of song and a beautiful tree as well as each other. That is a lot to be grateful for. My In Laws are coming for Thanksgiving with a turkey in hand so we will have a good traditional Thanksgiving. Know I am fine and tending to all that I can the rest is in God hands. In time we will be just fine and I have a lot more weight to lose so the lack of junk and extras will be a good help. Hubby is doing much better now to and my Darlings life goes on. In a little while I will be able to say all is back to normal and the cupboards are full to the brim. Next year we will have a big Christmas just to celebrate!!!! Love you all.
Pam

Hey all,
Didn't realize it's been so lomg since I have posted. No wonder I am floundering out there. Have been sick woth the sinus thing again and a cold sore to boot. UGH. The antibiotic is also wrecking havoc.

Loan papers should be to the bank tomorrow. Then it is in someone elses hands. Thanks for all the positive energy!

Sue I am so sorry about your friend's child. What a loss! Take care my friend.
Melody I agree w/ Pam. I realize you want to stop hurting right NOW. But seeking out any diversion will only drag your pain out. Think of this as an opportuninty, to see who Melody is and then what melody needs in her life.

Pam Many hugs to you. Your wisdom and insight always amazes me! I get so much out of them!

terry how was that anniversary?

Lee what's up with you girl?

Well trying to focus.

Good morning ladies...life is beautiful today!

I am very happy with myself... I took a run/walk last night for over 3 miles, and it was lovely! Such a beautiful day to be alone on the open road.

I feel more like my old self now. The "me" I was when I met Josh. The strong me, the happy me, the beautiful "me"! How did I ever allow him to treat me that way? To think I was ugly and worthless, and fat? I would never go back, and I will never allow myself to be treated that way again. I truly don't want a man right now. I am having fun finding out who I am again, it's a beautiful thing...as for the sex thing...I don't know....as I said, I am such a chicken I doubt I would be able to do it...but it's a nice fantasy...

Sue-My friends keep suggesting "Bob" too...:LOL:

Pam, Pat thanks for the advice and caring! Good luck with those bill collecters Pam, they can get ugly...Pat, I am keeping you and your house in my prayers!

Well I am off to yet another day!

Don't worry about us. This financial struggle will be relatively short and will take us to our own promised land of peace, contentment, and permenant stability. Roll on. Everything has a price tag and this one is not bad at all. No bill collectors will be pressing everyone knows what is happening and why so no one is worried. We will be just fine after a short period of time.

Melody..... I am glad you understood I was concerned for you not being judgemental. I learned from life no one will give you more than you give are willing to give yourself and that means self respect, love, and even appreciation. I really just want for you to have the life you have not had yet, good and happy. A party girl life usually ends up a very sad one. God knows I have seen that often enough in so many womens lives. How we appear to others means little next to who we show ourselves to be to our children and in the mirror, eyes to eyse and soul to soul. Your greatest value even after you have reached goal will be the qualities you gift yourself with. The body will be oh so nice but hold yourself as precious and special as you are. Value yourself highly enough to choose someone worthy of sharing with, God knows you have earned it and I am so proud of you for seeing how lucky you are to be rid of such a miserable creature. Build your body image and your personnal self image because my love your life is in your hands to create whatever you will ....good or bad. Make it WONDEROUS!!!!!!
Pat Good to hear about the house I know you will be so happy to get all that paper behind you and moving in!
Sue Bee.....A friend of our also just lost her 19 year old son. A car wreck in which he burned to death. His Mom is bi-polar so she is really having her family keep behind her to make sure she is taking her meds. She is a lovely person but you know what can happen. So far so good. That stupid virus has made our babies sick but it is rather like a bad head cold. We have to get meds just because it will keep revolving around. My last child Chi is dying and of course my heart is broken. More than 17 years of love and devotion lay between us and I shall always miss her. I called upon my Dad once again to come for her at the right moment and take her home. I pray she leaves my loving arms to his. dan say's I will need a mansion just to hold the cats and dogs. LOL. I only pray that we will all be together. I love my children. Heaven for me would be to be surrounded by by children and totally loving friends and family. I am blessed with such deep and abiding friends. I hope Sue Bee that you are feeling better.
On a deeply personal note. I did have two small pieces of pizza the other day and as sensitive as my body is I have to be very ,very careful. Other than that I am OP and have remained op. I have definate goals to reach and can let nothing interfer with with those goals. Oh I have really struggled some but doing well. The weird thing just lately as I have been so good is that when I get pressured I seem to swell up like a balloon for a short time especially in my legs and ankles. Drinking a lot of water 128 oz.each and everyday. So there is a lot of water to collect if it feels like it but it doesn't last to very long. All in all I am doing quite well. A lady stopped me at church and said oh my God you have lost so much weight... you look wonderful. I said thank you and told her just keep watching Sugar I am not quite halfway there yet! She patted me over and over. I am so glad it is noticed because I swear to you if it weren't for the clothes I would not know there was a difference. The clothes tells me. Good thing I have clothes in so many sizes!!!!! The outfit I wore Sunday I have never worn before. It was sent as a gift and I could never get anywhere close to wearing it. I not only wore it it was very roomy!!!! I am wearing PJ from a couple of years ago that I had never worn and the durn things bag on me so I surmise I am doing well. If I were more toned I would be down several sizes more. I have a white silk suit that I was amazed to have actually on my body and it fits but I can tell the difference between be toned and not toned. This suit is comfortable on me now but but I wore this suit just as comfortably when I was15 lbs heavier and in fact was a bit looser on me then. That is the difference between being toned or flabby. I vote toned!!! My baby is having a problem and I have talked long enough. I will go see to my Chi Blossum .
LEE>>>>>>>>> LEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Drop a line Sis

Good morning all,
Well today is the day! Then it is in the hands of the bank, ANd God's where it has been all along. He tells me that it will be up to 10 days to get an answer and then we will see.

This month's Oprah mag was dedicated to stress. I have read almost every article. Very informative. For me my biggest challenge is the stress managment. Something I don't do very well. In the past I used alcohol, then I changed to food. I have noticed recently that while the #'s on teh scale don't move the waist bands on my pants are tighter. This I feel tells me that I am producing alot of cortisol which tells my body to store fat. ANd old caveman left over. And really stress is how you mentally percieve a situation. I tend to be responsible for alot of the pressure I feel. As I expect to do things perfecty w/o mistakes. I also expect to be able to anticiaptte thinsg and then solve them. I also hold myself to a higher standard than I hold others. No stress there. Well I recomned the Oprah mag it was good. And I did do some of the stress relever things which did help this weekend.

Well enough about me.

Melody , congrtas on the walk. SOunds like you had a good time! The mental attitude seems positive as well. Good for you!!!

Sue How are you coping? Take care my friend

Pam, You are awesome! I learn so much from you. I am sorry about your "child". Your attitude and wisdom always help.

Terri and Lee and Dana Hello!


Well cross your fingers.

I am crossed!!!

i am holding on well. but have to run to work

love to you and pam and melody and lee and terri (and you to dana if you pop in)

Rain drops keep falling on my head...falling on my head......

Well, the remnants of isadore have reached central Ky, and it is not pretty. We desperately needed the rain, as we are in a severe drought, but gosh! I sure hate it! Pam, I bet you guys got really wet. We are suppose to get up to 6 inches tomorrow. I guess I may have to take a boat to work...

Let's see...Tuesday night I walked/ ran 2 miles...it was hard. I guess I was tired from my 3.3 mile trek the day before, so I did not do so hot. I did run part of the first mile, and walked the second. Samson, my "puppy"-he's five months old, and as big as his parents...he's the husky...he is so funny...I truly love him, but he tried to kill me while I was running. He does this thing where he will run straight at you, and head butt you in the knees! Well it's not so bad when he comes at you from the front, but on Tuesday he got me from behind, and oh boy! I almost got road rash! I kicked him...not too hard, and fussed but he paid no mind to me...went on his merry way. My arthritic knees and ankles were not too happy with him, but hey I made it, and am fine now.

Last night, I actually LIFTED weights! And my pecs are sure sore! I did 12 reps on the lightest weight for my pecs, and oh! I am out of shape! I took the day off from running...I will run today! Rain, or no rain...I will run! I love to run in the rain! Nothing like water pelting you in the face!

LOSER drove by my house three times last night!!!! My Dad called the cops, but there is nothing they can do...it's so useless to have this DVO on him, he does what he wants anyway...and he got his license back! So I will be seeing him all the time. I don't know how in the **** he got his license back...he should have lost it for at least 3 more months...lawyers! They always get him off easy! The state trooper that always responds when we call is really worried that he is going to try to do something to me...I am just trying to ignore it all, and get on with my life. I wish he would go away.

My 4 year old got his DTaP yesterday, and at about 7:00 last night his leg swelled, and he couldn't walk on it...it was swelled way down past his knee...you couldn't see his knee. Poor baby! I called a nurse and she told me to keep giving him motrin, and to apply ice packs to it. He didn't get to go to school again today...it was a little better this AM.

Pam- I am sorry about Chi...

Sue- You are my inspiration! I love ya!

Pat- As always, you are in my prayers, and I hope your house comes through....My fingers are crossed too!

Love ya!

Good morning all,

The papers are there. Just a little clitch that held them from weds till yesterday. Hopefully that is the only clitch. Unfortunately with the low interest rates, teh processing time has slowed down so it could be 3 weeks till we hear. I am trying not to get too excited, so much can go wrong along the way. But I keep telling myself one day at a time.

Melody, It sucks that he got his driver's lic. back. Is he responsible for child support? Keep trcak of things like last night as they can be important in both custody and criminal court. Make suer that you don't inadvertantly violate the court order of protection, so that can't be used against you. Also be alert and take steps to protect yourself, that may seem silly to you, but when you are dealing with a sub.abuser they can be pretty unpredictabel and things can get out of hand quickly. The woman's crisis center should be able to offer you some suggestions on how to protect yourself both physically and legally. You too can use the court system to maess with him.

I thought he had himslf another woman? While I know that hurts you, it should take some focus off you as well. I'd rather be heart hurt than physically hurt. The other thing you might want to consider is how you choose to respond to the harrassment. If he knows he is bothering you w/i the law he will continue, if he thinks he isn't eventually hopefully he'll stop. If he drives by again you could just have the cops note it but not respond. that way there is a record but he doesn't see the chaos.

I am sorry that this continues, keep sake.

Hello all, Still out here in Op land floundering. I was suprised yesterday when I bought size 22 pants and I have to take them back for 20's, also teh top I bought is too big. So i am holding on out here, just not getting anywhere.

You all have a great weekend. We are expecting Isadore this afternoon.