For many of us here, one bite leads to two, leads to the whole thing gone. Okay that's one cupcake gone. I feel like crap (excuse the language, no other way to describe it) on so many levels and now that I've eaten that cupcake, most likely I'll be craving for more sweets/fats/empty calories for days on end. So *for me* this would not be a viable option. I have a real hard time stopping to eat certain foods once I get started - my solution - don't get started.

I for one don't think the doc needs to see that I've eaten it. Nope, no siree Not to offend him or anything, but I don't eat to *please* other people. I've got to do what I've got to do to please ME.

And do you really think he's spending all that much time contemplating on whether or not I've eaten that cupcake?

LOL no, he has far more on his schedule than being the cupcake police.

But he's a friendly outgoing guy and when he walks down the hall, he'll make small talk and chat with people, and as I was sitting there, giving myself an unwarranted and unnecessary freakout over a cupcake, all I could think of was that he'd ask me, "hey, how'd you like the cupcake?! good right?!" and if my coworkers had seen me toss it, and I lied to him and said something, they'd all see me lie to him. I'm in a position of authority, and didn't want my coworkers seeing me lie...

...admittedly, I may have turned this into a way bigger problem than it needed to be. I've been really successful walking past the treats and pizzas in the staff kitchen, but this was the first time something had been actually placed in front of me.

I panicked, and jumped on here.

I think you ultimately handled it well (I bring stuff home for DH too) but really there is NOTHING wrong or offensive in saying, "No thanks!". Just say it with a smile and if any questions are asked, just say you've had enough sugar for the day or that you just don't feel like it.

Yeah, rockinrobin, you're right. For some people, that cupcake would be a trigger in any amount. Clearly the best choice is not to eat it in that case.

And you're also right that no one needs to eat to please other people. So, wrapping the whole thing up "for later" and then disposing of it would be the best choice.

But what would you say to the doc, rockinrobin, if he asked how you liked the cupcake? Just interested... this is such an interesting question.

Jay

pokey-- I dropped in late and am so glad that you found a resolution to the problem. I really do know what you mean about not advertising the fact that you are "on a diet". I know exactly what you mean. Periodically one or two people in my office will go "on a diet" and you'll see them looking totally miserable while slowly forking dry lettuce and chicken into their mouths. It usually lasts a week or two and the next thing you know, they'll be knocking back a cheeseburger again.

In the early days, I really tried not to draw attention to myself-- at parties I would pick up a slice of cake, carry it around for a while and then put it back down.

Now, it's so much easier. People can SEE the results of my efforts and they're used to me saying no, so they don't even offer.

I would like to PERSONALLY APPLAUD YOU for not eating the cupcake. Each time you do it, it gets easier. I PROMISE.

And Jay-- regarding your question... the answer is obvious.

"It was to die for...."

!

Thanks Uber!!! We totally have serial dieters here, there's one girl that's on day one of her diet every Monday, and by Friday, she's volunteering to do the Krispy Kreme run

He never would have asked me. Because it wouldn't have gotten to that point. There's no way on earth I 'd allow that thing to sit on my desk. So boy oh boy do I give the OP credit for passing it up, once it WAS there!

It wouldn't have gotten to that point, because when he came by my office to drop if off and said, "I see you didn't take a cupcake, here you need to try one, it's from Sprinkles". I would have responded, "no thanks, it looks great, but I'm gonna have to pass".

If he would have insisted, I would have said something like, "no, really, I can't. Sugar and me, lately we just don't get along. Please give it to someone who could enjoy it."

Now that is funny. (so was your response Uber).

But sadly, that was me. I was always doing that Monday/Friday thing. Though not often enough. Sometimes months would pass till I even attempted another start to my *diet* come Monday morning.... yuck - such bad memories.

All kidding aside, of course Robin is right. I "had" to eat the cupcake for twenty years, but in reality, nobody thinks anything if you pass-- just like when you're at a party and don't feel like drinking so you ask for a diet coke.

I've found that the only people who sometimes make a fuss are the people who feel bad about themselves for eating something they shouldn't-- when I pass, it makes them feel guilty, and it elicits either the "oh, I should diet but I can't, I have low blood sugar, I'm under stress, I skipped lunch" comment, or sometimes the "oh just have one bite, it can't hurt...."

But person who is offering to be nice-- well heck, lots of people turn down cupcakes, and that's how they STAY SKINNY!!!! All those people we used to hate who look at a cupcake and say "I'm going to pass..." The ones we always hated???? Now,

THEY ARE US!!!!

Out of curiosity, I just looked up the calorie count on a Sprinkles cupcake. They START at 497 calories and can go all the way up to 1000, depending on the type. The one I was given is some kind of black and white one - it's pretty, I will say that.

I feel a billion times better right now than if I would have eaten it and then looked up the calorie count.

In the past I too felt like I HAD to eat it.Not that I needed my arm twisted or anything , but if there was an occasion and a slice of cake or something was offered to me I took it without thinking. Because that's what you do..

And yup, I'd see those who passed up on it and wonder how do they do that?

This reminds me of someone I have become good friends with over the past 6 months or so. She was relaying a story of something she said always stuck in her mind. She was at a birthday party, the cake was being passed around, and this one woman said, "no thanks", but the hostess (or someone, I'm not certain who) kept on insisting.. Someone even said to her, "come on now, you of all people can really afford to eat this, you're so skinny". And the woman finally bursted out, "well yes, how do you think I STAY so skinny?"

But yes, I always wanted to be one of those who passed up on the cake. And you're right - now we are!!! Feels pretty darn wonderful. I eat on my own terms. I eat on my own terms - yay me!!

For the record, now that I think of it, LOTS of people really do turn down cake. I see it all the time. All *kinds* of people too - slim, heavy and everywhere in between.

But I still feel like some people are rolling their eyes when they see me (or anyone do it. But for certain, it's not because of what I'm doing - it's because it DOES make them feel badly about their own choices.

I think that a lot of very overweight people (including myself) tend to overestimate the importance and significance of food. It's how we became overweight--food is fascinating to us, and we tend to fixate on it. We then project that attitude toward those around us.

If it were me sitting there, that cupcake would have seemed to glow. It would have seemed the size of a basketball. I would have assumed that everyone in the room, whatever else they were doing, was watching The Cupcake with half an eye, paying attention to what I did with it.

If there is cake in the breakroom 50 yards from my classroom, I am aware of it, a low-level hum in the back of my mind all day. If I am out to eat, I likely noticed what everyone else ordered, and I probably read everything on the menu. If there is a box of twinkies in my pantry, I think about it all day long. I've never gone anywhere not knowing what I will do for meals. It took me 30 years to realize this is abnormal, that food just isn't a big deal for a lot of people. They don't really care that much what they are eating, they sure as **** don't care what I am eating. This was a big breakthrough for me. Before, I looked at every food choice as something epic. Now, I just remind myself that it's really not that big of a deal one way or the other. If it were me, I'd remember that damn cupcake forever, but guess what? Your boss won't remember what they did for his birthday 3 months from now.

I have never, ever not once - not even one little time - NOT eaten something and then regretted it or felt badly about it. Never. Not once. I have never thought, "gee why the heck didn't I eat that xyz? I should have had it" Nope, that's never happened.