Yeah, but for me, food was an addiction, something that I went to when things went badly, when there was a hole in my heart, food filled it.

I certainly agree that food has all the cultural/love significance (which is why I made a special exception for Thanksgiving), just like any other 12-step program, I just need to wait until I can handle it to be allowed to use it on my own. And that's just me, and I respect that you don't have that problem.

What's interesting is that it's not just my family's prep of food that is culturally significant, but the social obligation I have to eat other people's food...I've gotten pretty good at avoiding having to eat other people's food, but there have been times when I've just went "well, there goes my diet" and ate the dinner or the pie or whatever...even though those people knew darn well I was on a diet and what they were putting in front of me wasn't on it.

I am so glad I read this thread. It makes me feel SO much better. I have a few things ( real, bakery baguettes are one of them) that I can't live without. Even though I am calorie counting and fitting these special things in, I still feel like I am cheating. I even tell myself, " It's ok to eat these things, just plan for it. If it wasn't working for me, I wouldn't have lost 18# so far." Its just really hard to reprogram my head and live in moderation. I have always been an all or nothing person, especially when it comes to food.

Thanks all, and have a great night/weekend!

I really think there are so many possible answers on this one - sometimes even for the same person (at different periods in their life or on different food plans).

I'm losing best on a low-carb exchange plan, but if I "cheat" with high carb foods, I end up in a craving/hunger cycle that makes weight loss difficult. I also tend to retain water after I've eaten high carb foods, so it always seems that even with a relatively small indulgence I'm going to be looking at a gain on the scale. I "know" it's temporary water weight, but in the back of my mind is always the thought that it's "punishment" for "cheating."

For me, it's important not to look at weight loss and eating as a moral judgement. I try not to look at it as "being good," versus "cheating," because the guilt cycle becomes an eating cycle for me.

I have a hard time sticking to my plan, and it's why I'm losing slowly.

I know the stereotype is that you need to learn to stick religiously to an eating plan, and beat yourself up if you're not sucessful. In the past, I always gave up when I couldn't be perfect - and now I don't give up.

I'm still not much better at sticking to my plans, but I've done well enough to lose 80 lbs, and I expect to keep losing, just by not giving up.

I don't plan in off-plan meal or day as a regular part of my plan, because I do too much unplanned eating, as it is. If I were adhering better to my plan, I'd feel more comfortable adding in off-plan eating.

I also think for me, counting my exchanges/calories even on an off-plan meal is the most helpful. When I count it, I feel better and do better. It's a bit like going on a shopping spree. I've learned (from irresponsible college days) that even when I'm going to splurge on a day of shopping I still have to keep track of what I'm spending to make sure I don't spend the rent money.

I think it helps me to look at my food plan that way too. I can afford to "splurge" once in a while, but I do have to (in some way) make sure I can truly afford the splurge.

I can easily undo a month's work in a day or two. That sounds terrible, and I know it - but it's true and I have to be honest with myself about it. It means that an "eat whatever I want" day every month probably is not a good idea. Even "eat whatever I want, but right it down first," tends to slow me down considerably. I know that I can eat 10,000 calories in one day, but writing every morsel down, I'm a lot more likely to stop before too much damage is done (problem is when my eating is out of control, I tend not to want to know and won't write it down).

I know my ramblings don't really provide an answer, but I think the thought process here is more important than the answer, because you have to determine what works for you, and what doesn't. The actual decision doesn't matter, it's how well it's working for you. If you're happy with the results you get, then you're exactly where you need to be.

I like the idea, but I really don't think I can pull it off.

It's hard enough for me to lose while staying religiously on plan, and I'm afraid that going and eating something high calorie would make me want more.

For years, I programmed myself to eat something tasty every time I was tired, bored, lonely, sad, anxious, or well, you name it.

The only way I've managed to conquer this so far, is to make food pretty boring. Knowing that I'm only going to eat a fairly limited number of tasty but relatively boring foods takes away the thrill factor of eating for me. I enjoy my food-- but not TOO much.

I hope someday I might be able to have a treat, like a nice restaurant meal, on occasion, but nine months into this, I'm not ready yet.

I do "cheat" on purpose, and I've done it throughout my weight loss. Not every week, but maybe every other or so? I don't TOTALLY pig out, but I will have what I want, and it's usually pizza or ice cream. Then, I'm right back on plan. I understand that this won't work for everyone, but it's worked really well for me. I've actually gotten to the point where there is very little that I'm willing to cheat for. Like, I won't just mindlessly eat Doritos or something as a cheat. Instead, I will plan something big, like my favorite deep dish pizzeria or a special lunch at one of my favorite cafes. It's gotta be special if I'm going to go off plan. If it's not special, it's really not worth it to me. What I've learned from this is actually that food isn't as important to me as it once was. Sure, I love food, but some of the old foods I used to eat uncontrollably simply are not worth it at all anymore. I've worked too hard to waste it on something meaningless.

Overall, I think a big part of my success has been "picking my battles" so to speak. I'm not going to eat poorly on some random Tues night for no reason. I'm going to be "good" whenever I can, so that if I feel like having a nice dinner out with friends I can do it, with no guilt at all. And I really think that this is going to be a good life plan for me. Don't eat bad when you could easily eat good. Don't waste calories on meaningless foods. Pick your battles, choose your splurges wisely. Before, I would eat poorly on Mon, Tues, Weds, Thurs, Fri and the weekends too! For no reason at all. It was an all out binge-fest almost every night of the week. It was crazy, and so destructive. Now, I feel in control. And I feel that I can have planned indulgences at times. I feel that this lifestyle is working and hopefully will continue to work for me.

Cheating means eating foods that are off limits on your plan. Therefore, all cheating is "planned cheating" because those foods don't just fall into one's mouth from the sky!

I count calories, and so there are no off limits foods--just foods I have to fit into my target. If I choose to eat over 920 calories by having a Big Mac and medium fries, it's not cheating--it's that I have to figure out what to do for the rest of the day. That's where the problem comes in.

Going way over the calorie target isn't cheating--it's just blowing it. So, do I ever deliberately decide to exceed my calories? Yes, sometimes. But I have to make up for it somehow.

Jay

This and what Mandalinn (Sp?) stated previously. I'm not going to waste calories on icky Chips Ahoy cookies. Those cookies should be either yummy homemade or high quality bakery cookies.

This week at work, a co-worker brought a huge box of donuts/rolls to a meeting. I didn't have one because I didn't see the box until I was on the other side of the room and already sitting down. During the meeting (to which I had brought a huge bottle of water to drink), I calmly decided that I would check out the goodies after the meeting and have 1/2 of one if there was one of my favorites there. As an aside, I worked in a bakery in HS. I know my donuts and only am willing to eat my favorite--a custard filled, chocolate frosted bismark. And you guessed, there was one there after the meeting. Another co-worker had the same idea and was cutting it in half. And just when I was planning to take the other half, someone else beat me to it. Realizing that there were no other donuts I was interested in, it was easy to just walk away.

That's funny. Sometimes when I'm debating with myself about having something, I try to imagine if it would bother me much if the choice were taken out of my hands. If I think my reaction would be, "Oh well, another time," or "Oh good, I'll feel better this way," it's easier to resist something I apparently don't really want. Other things, you know it's going to be on your mind until you satisfy it in some way, and maybe the longer you resist it, the more collateral damage you do along the way. Of course, it's not always easy to figure these things out!

It's actually a great strategy for nonfood things in life, like throwing away junk you're hanging onto, or letting go a goal that no longer suits you.

Well, every cheat is a cheat on purpose really. Things don't just "happen" to us.

I try not to deny myself things...I think it's leads to wanting it more than you would normally do. So what I do is make way for it in my calories throughout the day. But I'm just talking about silly things, like a small bit of chocolate or a small glass of wine.

I did have a kinda binge last christmas day. I had everything and all the trimmings. I didn't deny myself anything. And I was satisfied. I was quite good because I didn't eat everything that was put in front of me. I just couldn't, I was stuffed. Before I started my dieting and excercise I would have eaten double what I ate that day. I suppose it just goes to show that even when you try to cheat on purpose, it doesn't mean your body will be capable anymore pmsl.

I think all off-plan eating is "intentional," but not necessarily "planned."

In all areas of my life, I occasionally do unplanned things (spontaneous decisions).

As in "I planned to clean the kitchen today, but I went shopping instead."

Did I plan to go shopping?

No, but I made a last minute change of plans.

The more "last minute changes of plan," I have with eating, the less well I do - but that's true with all sorts of plans. The house doesn't get clean either if I go shopping or get caught up in a television show or online surfing when I've planned a day of cleaning.

With all things in my life, there's not much damage done when occasionally chucking the plan for some spontaneous change of plans, but the more often it's done, the less control it "seems" like you have over your life (you're still in the driver's seat, you just have no idea where you're going or how to get there).

When my plan is vague, it's a lot easier to abandon. Generically planning to "eat healthy today," isn't as successful for me as "eat according to my exchange plan, and document every bite - ideally before biting."

Same with the spontaneous plan-changes. If it's vague I tend to do more damage (I want to go the the mall and "splurge" on a day of shopping), than if it's specific and planned (I will spend $50" on myself today).

Procrastination and spontaneous plan-changes aren't tragic (when chosen in moderation), but they can be trouble spots if you aren't planning or choosing carefully with long-range goals in mind. "Going with the flow, choosing spontaneous decisions over planned ones, can really screw with successful long-term acheivements.

My focus is always just calories in, calories out. So if I want part of my calorie today to be chocolate, then that's just fine as long as I keep the whole level of calories below my set level. Maybe it won't work forever, but for now, since I'm still significantly overweight, it's enough for me to still lose weight. I'm sure at some point when I'm thinner I'll have to be more aware about where those calories come from to be healthy and maintain a low weight, but for now it works and I'm going to enjoy it!

I do have one cheat day a week. I try and calorie cycle during the week I count calories except on Friday. Friday is my cheat day and I do not track calories that day. BUT having said that I do NOT have a free for all, all day long! I ususally just eat one meal that I have been craving. I find that my stomach has shrunk so I cannot eat as much as I used anyway. It still a meal with protein etc ... not a quart of ice cream or something.
It seems to work for me for now. I can see how it could be detrimental for some people.

I am a lifetime serial yo-yo dieter. Every single time i've "dieted" before I've lost weight and then put it all back on within three months. the reason for this is that Ive denied myself everything and have eventually crashed and binged. This time I'm working those treats in as I go and I've had much more success. It's meant that I'm losing more slowly but I'm feeling really steady. So yes i do cheat on purpose, frequently. Today I have family stuff and will end up eating "normally". Not enough to put on weight but won't lose either. Thursday i'm meeting friends and shall at what I like. You have to live a little.

For some people "cheating" a bit works well but some cannot at all without getting sort of addicted to certain foods again.

Personally, I only deny myself certain foods that I am addicted to, like crisps (potato chips) and milk. I am so addicted to them that I really cannot use those to cheat or I will just binge on them. However, if I want a nice big bowl of pasta or some pizza or whatever, I'll eat it as long as I tweak my calorie intake for the next few days or do my workout DVD for longer.

I think cheating is good if you can do it. If you can and still lose weight then, heck, why not?!