Here is how I feel about this subject. My dad's side of the family has ONE overweight individual. My mom's side has 3 brothers, 1 sister and herself all overweight or struggling with weight. Some are morbidly obese.

Seeing that growing up...really messed with me as I did not or could not gain any weight and got really tall early. ( I was the tallest girl in kindergarten), but when I hit puberty...I got curvy fast. Why I battled with eating disorders...Since my mom lived in the gym--and in my eyes it did not help, I felt hopeless. I just figured I was destined to become overweight. My sister was always a little chubby, but really gained weight when she hit puberty too as did all my siblings except for one. my little brother is morbidly obese now and wants to lose weight too.

Do I think genetics had anything to do with this? yes.

did I feel hopeless to change myself in a healthy way? yes. Because like I said my mom was all about health food, and weight lifting, and gym 4x week yet she stayed thick looking and a bit pudgy. My mom has terrible eating habits though (she skips eating, thinking it helps her lose)

So when I had a child, I keep in mind, and explain to him--in my family we have the ability to become obese. We are predisposed to it, just because you are, doesn't mean you HAVE TO be. though. And I teach right eating habits, and i explain "son, the best thing to do is NOT gain the weight."

My sister, who has always been way heavier than me, is right now, as thin or thinner than me, because she took control.

My other sister is 13, and she is a bit pudgy..and my mom noticed when she went out to eat she ordered a double dip cone and a sundae...and then later that day my sister (the very overweight one--now thin) gave my little sister some of her old clothes to wear. That shocked my mom.

My mom told me yesterday "I don't know how to talk To Bobby without hurting her feelings". I thought it's called TOUGH LOVE mom.

I just told my mom to tell her what I have been telling my son all along.
"I have struggled with weight my whole life. I don't want you to have to go through that, if you learn now, you can keep control over this, and YOU don't have to gain weight. It's about eating healthy and exercising. And not eating too much for your body (I got fat off too much healhty food) I'm only telling you this because I love you."

Genetics do play a big role of what your potential's are. But you are the one who makes the decision's to follow the map. It's like that cookie. It's just a cookie. If a skinny person eats it and burns it off, it's fuel. If a fat person eats it and doesn't--it becomes fat.

I don't think this particular issue has anything to do with genetics at all... obviously since your extended family is not obese. Your family is just trying to sabotage you. It's awful I know, but the sooner you accept this the sooner you can learn to deal with their tactics.

First of all, you should be very proud of yourself, you've done an amazing job on your health and fitness so far. Nobody can take that away from you, though they're trying. I'm not implying that your family doesn't care about you, but what's happening here is that they are jealous of you. Jealousy is unavoidable in most families but you can't let it derail you. It's simply easier for your family members to think that it's a genetic problem, this way they don't have to do anything to change. The fact that you are losing weight the right way is very threatening to them, it challenges their sense of denial.

My advice: you can't reason with crazy. People are going to think what they will, you can't have a logical discussion with someone who is not logical. So instead of trying to have a conversation you must learn to just bounce their arguments off of you. Family is unavoidable during this time of year anyway so be equipped with responses like these:

"I'm sorry but there is no excuse for obesity"
"Oh obesity runs in our family? Even more reason then for me to keep working hard."
"Well obviously what I'm doing is working so don't knock it 'till you've tried it."
"Just because everyone else is a failure doesn't mean I have to be."
"Maybe it's genetic for you, but it's not for me."

Have your say and walk away. These responses will make them angry, for sure. But say them and then change the subject. Let people know that your health and fitness is not up for further discussion.

Genetics versus environment? I guess that will always be questioned. I was a very thin kid. I was more active and didn't treat food as a comfort. I'm not as active now and I eat more than I should. That is what got me to the weight I am now, along with steroids which just makes you wanna eat more. When I controlled what I ate and exercised more I wasn't overweight. Children that are overweight tend to eat more and not be as active as other kids (unless there is a medical condition). I have seen some kids look at food as adults would...a comfort....and can't wait to eat.

As a kid...I had to be reminded to eat most of the time cause I was too busy playing. My daughter is the same way and she is thin. I think when you let food consume your thoughts then you will have a weight problem....as a child or adult. And then yes there is the metabolism issue....some people do have a faster metabolism but being active is key. I wish I could be as active as I was a child. Arthritis keeps me from it but I can walk and even that does make you feel better.

Surgery may be the answer for some members in your family but if it isn't the answer for you then you should keep doing what you are doing....it sounds like it is working for you! you have lost ALOT of weight on your own and yes you can keep it off if you keep tabs on yourself by weighing yourself. Believe me...those five pounds gained end up being 10 and 20 (sigh). Good luck on everything.....you have support here

I think genetics do play a role in whether you end up mildly overweight, obese or maintain a healthy weight. However, I think we all have the ability to change our genetics if we are predisposed to storing more fat than average. I like what a previous poster said about genetics being a house and you having the choice of decor. That's a really good way to put it. My sister has been overweight since puberty. My mom and dad and all my relatives (cousins included) were skinny growing up. Now most are tubby-chubby but it's because they eat too much, not genetics. My sister complained about genetics being the reason why she was overweight (mostly because my mom was up her butt to lose weight). Anyway, a couple of years ago, she exercised and cut portions and voila! she lost weight. She gained it back because she didn't maintain portion control and the exercise, but she knows that it's required, which is important.

I know this is easier said than done, but please turn a deaf ear to your relatives who tell you that you will gain the weight back. That is incredibly rude and demeaning. I'm pretty sure it's because you were successful where they weren't and you're proving that their "genetics" theory is crap. Most people when faced with the absurdity of their long-held notions will retaliate with spite. Be strong and keep doing what you're doing!! We here at 3FC are incredibly proud of your accomplishments!!

Hi arumaru.

For me, the relevant issue here is the justification/excuses being made by your relatives....more than the question of genetics versus environment. Paris81 made an excellent observation....that their explanations are illogical. It would not be logical to provide a mechanical solution for what they're claiming is a systemic problem.

That being said...I tend to think that both genetic and environmental effects factor in....probably in differing degrees, depending on the individual. And...I also believe that it is totally unfair to insist that it's strictly a matter of calories in and calories out and to dismiss genetic or physiologic issues out of hand. There definitely are physiologic issues, medication causing physiologic issues, and genetic effects that definitely CAN cause or contribute to weight problems.

But in your particular case, this does sound like, to a significant degree, a lot of justification and making excuses. Mainly because they seem to be making blanket generalizations that they claim affect every single person in your family. It's one thing for an individual to develop certain beliefs/perceptions regarding ONLY that person and based on a great deal of trial and error/experience. But making broad generalizations....esp. if they are just assumptions and not based on experience or evidence....is quite another and sounds like they are giving themselves permission to fail or to not even try.

I would certainly not buy into this, especially since you are clearly having great success with your own weight loss. IF....let's say you were to develop certain problems/issues down the road....it might be reasonable to consider these claims but only in the context of actual evidence....and not just sheer assumptions. It's always good to know your family medical history and to consider any relevant factors......but I would certainly not put any significant credence into blanket statements, broad generalizations, or claims that are not founded on any real evidence or that are not supported by reality.

deena

The genetics/environment question really isn't the point here. It's whether people believe they can do something about the situation (just as many people will blame environmental factors - the aspects that they can't change - and blame that.

It's more a locus of control issue - do you believe you're in control, or do you believe you are powerless. Genetics, upbringing, environment - doesn't matter what you consider to be the most important factor, it depends upon what you're willing to do about it.

A lot of people assume that those of us who do consider genetic factors to be significant are looking for an "excuse" to stay fat or explain our fat. For me, the opposite was true. I've been trying to get my weight under control for most of my life, and quite frankly I didn't understand why I was such a freak in my family. Dieting (crash dieting, which at the time was even advocated by the medical community) only seemed to make me more ravenously food-obsessed.

Suspecting a genetic connection did not inspire me to throw up my hands and give up. Quite the reverse - I felt more able to put in the extra effort because all the difficulty finally made sense.

It doesn't matter whether you believe genetics or environment played a greater or lesser role. Doesn't matter, because you can't seperate them. You're stuck, with what you're stuck with, and the only way out is through environmental and behavior changes, for the most part. There are some exceptions. People with endocrine imbalances can often lose weight with certain medical treatments - but exercise and diet is still going to be the greater part of the answer (regardless of whether genetics or bad habits are primarily to blame).

Funny that you ask this. Exactly the same question crossed my mind last night as I watched an episode of X-Weighted. They have now moved from individuals to families. Last night's family was mom aged 49, I assume her husband something similar, two girls - one 14 with cerebral palsy and epilepsy and the younger I think 11 or so. (The dad was not the bio father of the kids, at least not of the older one).
They are evaluated by a medical doctor and both children were categorized as obese. Both parents were telling the younger that she is not obese (because they did not want her to have to wear such a tag) and that she just needs to grow taller but not lose weight - even though the doctor disagreed with this in no uncertain terms.
Suprisingly, it was the 14 yr old girl with cerebral palsy and epilepsy who made the biggest progress. She lost about 24 pounds and just blossomed in general. I was not paying 100% attention as I was finishing something up in the kitchen but she went to speak to at Toastmaster meeting about her condition (previously, she would not speak to a group of more than 2 people). I was so proud of her as if she was my own daughter.
The mother, not surprisingly, lost only about 22 lbs although she should have lost a lot more (she was cheating frequently when it came to eating, having 2 popsicles at a time, etc.). She was also saying things like "it is not possible to eat for the rest of my life this way without indulging, etc.".