Do you think denial plays a part in families that have weight problems?
I come from a family (on my mother's side) where most people are overweight or obese, for the last 2 generations since my family immigrated to the US. My maternal grandparents and great-grandparents did not have weight problems, if anything they were underweight for most of their lives. My father's side of the family does not have weight problems at all, but they live abroad. My mother's family who live outside of the US do not have weight problems either. Yet I have obese family members who insist that the weight problems in our family is genetic, and that the only way to lose weight is to get gastric bypass or lap band surgery. I don't believe this, because I was not fat myself until age 4 or so, when I started to emulate my mother's eating habits. I have lost 45-50 lbs this year, and these same family members (who are considering surgery) are telling me that my weight loss is temporary and that I won't be able to maintain it, because it's in my genes "to be fat". It makes me angry because they are threatening their children's health when they are in denial like this. Even if weight issues are genetic in our family, you can't sit back and say "oh well it's genetic" and eat/do whatever you want, making no effort to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight. I also don't think gastric bypass or lap band surgery is a permanent solution to weight loss. I know this is a controversial topic, and I don't mean to open up a can of worms, but I'm really trying to avoid my mother's side of the family lately because I think they are a bad influence on me, in more ways than one.
WOW..First off congrats on losing that much weight. You should be proud. Your relatives sound like mine they are looking for an excuse because if they looked at thefacts then they would have to own up for putting themselfs in this situation of being overweight. Dont let their bad attitudes get you down. its there stupidity not your. like i said some of my family members are overweight and they try and sabotage me because they see me losing weight. by sabotage i mean they cook or buy me food which i then must refuse. i mean ive told them i couldnt eat it yet they buy it anyway... i wish you well because at the end of the day these people as mad as they make up are still family even though sometimes you wish they wernt..lol
I definitely think that genetics might affect things that could affect your weight....like someone with asthma or back problems or something might have a harder time being active so they might have a harder time staying in control of their weight...
but I don't think ANYTHING is an excuse for obesity. People who say it's genetic could be right or they could be wrong, but this forum is PROOF that people can lose the weight and keep it off if they set their minds to it...so if it's genetic or not doesn't matter...what matters is people getting up and getting active and watching what they eat and taking control of themselves.
I think a HUGE part of families with weight problems is excuses. Yeah there are cases where genetics do play a part, there are always exceptions...but I don't think that physically being fat is something that can be passed down...I think what gets passed down is the LIFESTYLE that LEADS to the obesity.
Every single one of my family members (the family that raised me) is overweight except me. I know it is NOT genetic for us. It comes a myriad of complicated issues that are an absolute WEB to unravel--substance abuse, depression, untreated mental illnesses, etc.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 12-16-2009 at 05:38 PM.
I think a lot of people use genetics as an excuse to keep doing nothing and say they can't change. The funny thing, if my family is any example, is that we'll never know for sure because we're all over weight or slightly obese, but we all eat poorly because we learned that as kids! So is it genetics or our diet and exercise patterns?
For me, I've reached a point where I had to say that my family health and weight history is no excuse to not change, stay big, and plan on dying early, but the reason I should know better and do something! I know my future if I do nothing, and it's a stroke or heart attack before age 65. I believe most folks who have genetic issues CAN lose weight, it's just not going to be easy. But still worth the effort.
I think that you have a point. I acutally don't really understand the logic that your family is presenting to you, which to me signals that it doesn't come from a logical place. If being overweight is genetic, then how would surgery to anything to change that fact? I mean, the surgery still goes on the basic principle of calories in vs. calories out, your stomach is just smaller so you feel fuller with less food--this does not change your genes. So it's not any more a long term solution than healthy eating is--it just depends on what you stick with.
I do agree that there may be a genetic component for some people to eat more, be overweight, etc (not really sure how to express this other than to say--my mom is very thin, my dad is overweight, I look a lot like my dad, and it's been VERY easy for me to eat a lot, gain lots of weight--there is clearly a behavoiral issue, but it's not just how I was raised because I had both sides to learn from), but their logic is ---not logical!
And congrats on your weight loss so far! I bet part of their problem is that they're envious that you've been able to stick with a healthy living style to lose weight, when they clearly haven't. It's easier to blame an outside force (genetics) rather than your own falibility.
I think you've done a fantastic job! Genetics can play a part in just about everything, but we still have free will and we still can have power over our health and weight, for the most part.
I think it's sad that they don't want to change their ways, but it's even more sad that they've told you that you will gain it back. That is an unfair comment, in my opinion. I think what you've done is tremendous. I hope you will let this comment further fuel your passion to have the life you want and deserve. The best way to prove a point is just by your actions. One day, when they're ready, they will come to you, but I think not everyone is ready at the same time. There were plenty of times in the past when I've used every excuse possible why I am overweight (chronic daily migraines, a child with a disability, depression, anxiety, stress, etc.....), but I decided that it didn't matter how many excuses I had....I was still trapped in a body I couldn't enjoy at all and eating didn't make any of my problems better...in fact, it made them worse.
Just keep up your excellent work!!! You are an inspiration to many already!
Well, it's the old nature versus nurture dilemma--and I think in a way it's both. Some people's genetics may make them more prone to gain weight, and certainly the best indicator of your body type is to look at your biological parents' body types. On the other hand, if the whole family is overweight/obese, it makes it easier to stay that way. You can have such a good time eating and enjoying lots of food together.
It reminds me of a friend of mine whose whole family were heavy drinkers. They used to have such fun together, drinking their way through life. Yes, they probably had the genetics for it, but it takes genetics plus drinking...
And the same might be said of people with "overweight" genes. It takes genetics plus overeating.
I don't believe that "surgery is the only answer" is true. I think you're right to keep some distance from that environment--they will just discourage you from success. It's like they are putting a "curse" on you when they say it's temporary and will come back.
My friend with the heavy-drinking family? She stopped drinking and so did her mother.
As an overweight adopted child of obese adoptive parents, I can say for sure nurturing played a bigger role than genetics
I'm also adopted - and I could just as reasonably support the opposite conclusion - that genetics for sure played a larger role than upbringing.
While my father is thin, my mother is obese (gaining her weight in her mid twenties). I am the only person in the family to have been obese as a child. None of my siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousings, great aunts or great uncles had a childhood weight problem. My two sisters (who are my parents biological children) follow the pattern of our parents. One gained weight in her late 20's (just like Mom - even in the same place as Mom - all butt and thigh - though my sister has never been obese, she struggles very hard to maintain a healthy weight). My other sister has always been thin, and even after her pregnancies lost the pregnancy weight quickly (if she continues to take after Dad's pattern, she'll have to be careful once she reaches retirement age). My brother (also adopted) has an even different weight history (one that didn't follow the pattern of anyone related to our parents by birth). He was VERY thin, even to the point of being underweight into his late 20's. Even putting on muscle was hard for him until he started Navy Seal training. Only after retiring has he gained any "fat" (and only mild lovehandles).
So which is truly more important? I think you can't determine that. Both genetics and environment are important - and the degree may vary tremendously from one person to the next. However we can't do much about our genetic code - so we're only left with behavior and environment.
It's like a genetic predisposition to anything. It doesn't mean that behavior isn't vital (in fact the reverse is true). If skin cancer runs in your family, it's really not smart to spend much time sunbathing without sunscreen because "what's the use, I'm likely to get skin cancer anyway.".
I think that ENVIRONMENT has a HUGE role in weight, MUCH more so than genetics. If the family that raises you has bad eating habits, chances are that you will too. If you're brought up in a home that's stocked with unhealthy foods, where huge portions of highly caloric foods are eaten, where food is constantly used for boredom, stress, celebrations, rewards, etc and there is little or no physical activity being presented - chances are you are going to be overweight.
To the OP, you have done fabulously, fabulously. Keep up the good work and try as hard as it may be to ignore those comments about you gaining it all back. Because it's just not true. It's a decision that you make. It's a choice. You have the choice to eat well and exercise regardless of everyone and anyone around you. You therefore have the choice to lose the weight and keep it off. You also have the choice to gain it back. It is always our choice. Keep on choosing wisely.
We're adults now and we get to create our own destiny.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 12-17-2009 at 06:16 AM.
I do think genetics makes some of us more predisposed to gaining weight either because our metabolism wants us to eat more calories than we can use or uses less calories than it would take another individual to do the same activity. However, we have no control over our genetics but if life gives you lemons you make lemonade. So yes, I HAVE to be really strict with myself and monitor what I eat and drink and yes, I HAVE to take regular exercise - my genetic won't allow otherwise cos if I don't do these things I will gain weight.
I was the only overweight person in my entire family growing up, and I'm adopted. I grew up eating the exact same things as everyone else, and I packed on pounds while the rest of the family stayed thin. I *do* believe that genetics plays a part. However, that just means I can't eat what my family eats, in the quantities they eat, etc. It does NOT mean I have to be fat for the rest of my life.
I have 2 younger brothers, both adopted also. They have the same mother but different fathers. I never really thought about genetics and birth parents vs adopted parents until the boys were part of the family. The older of the two is obese, he's rapidly approaching 200 lbs and isn't 5ft tall yet. The younger one eats like a horse, and his teacher actually called child services on my mom because he's so skinny you can see his ribs. They've been exposed to the exact same food, in the exact same quantities, so the only thing left is genetics. But again, it's all about choices - you can choose that cupcake, or you can choose not to eat it.
Do you think denial plays a part in families that have weight problems?
