The way I get through this problem is that I allow myself to have what I want! For example, if I want some chips, I'll plan it into my calories, but I'll buy only a SMALL single serving bag instead of buying a large bag. My lazy butt isn't going out to get more when those run out lol.
If I end up going overboard and have too much I think "well its what I wanted, but what do I want in the long run; An extra piece of cake, or a healthy fit body?" I try to keep myself on track, but when I go off track I realize its because of my choices. In the end it comes down to what I want more.

I had a taco bell mexican pizza yesterday- but I budgeted my calories specifically knowing that I was going to eat that- it was HEAVEN!

I have actually told myself "You are acting like a 2 year-old."

I think there are some foods that I just can't touch anymore. I have one and then am compelled to have another and another. One won't satisfy---heck, 12 won't satisfy! So there are some foods I need to work on abstinence with.

I like beerab's approach of choosing something healthier. Is NOT eating crap truly denying myself anything of value? Of course not! So when I rephrase it that "I am choosing health" I find that very helpful.

Also, like Glory, eating whatever I want in whatever quantities I wish didn't make me happy. Rather the opposite. I have been thinking about this a lot lately (the past couple of months actually!). I could eat "like everyone else", but then I would look "like everyone else" and with the obesity rate skyrocketing, is that what I really want?

I've become interested in the eating habits of people I know. What people eat *most* of the time is reflected in their physical shapes. Maybe that makes me a bad person to consider that connection, but I have really noticed it. The nurses at my hospital who are super fit eat roasted veggies and tuna or other lean proteins (usually brought from home) and the ones who are not eat corn dogs and onion rings from the cafeteria (or whatever the "special" of the day is). I know that these might be simple snapshots in a person's life, and we all make a million choices everyday.....But the choices we make most of the time drive our physical health.

What choices will you make today?

I have always been a big proponent of eschewing a perfectionist mentality, and allowing myself off-plan foods without a lot of moaning or guilt, but I've realized lately that every choice really does count. Both the positive choices and the ones that have health consquences. So my new mantra is "Every choice counts". And to me that also means that I should celebrate each on plan choice as well. How often to we focus on our poor choices? Our health choices count too!

So, I spent a lot of years giving into my inner 2 year old, and my body showed it. But I reject that lifestyle now. I make my choices and I am responsible for them. I choose a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle.

I know that inner two-year-old. It's my id, to use an old Freudian phrase.

"I want! I want! I want!"

The difficult thing is being the thoughtful, caring mother to that two-year-old. Because we really have to be both. The adult sensibility is the one that pauses for a moment & says, "What is wrong with that child?"

That was my big epiphany: Usually, it's not **just** about the food. I do have to be exposed to the food in some way, to get the idea that I want it. I have to see it, or a picture of it, or smell it, or watch someone else eating it. But that's just the triggering moment. There's also an underlying pre-existing condition. If I am tired, feeling overwhelmed, needy, put-upon, aggrieved, taken advantage of, insufficiently cared for -- in other words, if I am a quivering mass of self-pity -- then I usually feel that I **deserve** to be compensated in some way, usually through food. Mommy, I fell down & got a boo-boo on my knee. (Really, my self-esteem.) Buy me an ice cream.

Then the adult has to step in & decide this child needs to be hugged & soothed, but not necessarily with food.

Saef,

I totally get sucked into that "I deserve" cycle.

I deserve a breakfast burrito cause I've been up all night. I deserve fast food cause I survived an evaluation. I deserve this or I deserve that.

I tell myself "I deserve to be healthy." Sometimes I have to repeat it.

I deserve health. I deserve fitness. I deserve food that will fuel my body.


Yeah, I talk to myself a lot. Don't tell anyone.

Yeah, Midwife, they don't call it "dessert" for nothing, right?

They knew what they were doing when they wrote that old fast-food jingle:

"You DESERVE a break today
So get up and get away
to McDonald's."

Using affirmations is an excellent strategy. We probably all should talk to ourselves more. It's better to articulate the problem clearly than to sit there all roiled up & not understand what's happening inside us & just think that it has to stop -- and that the way to do this is by putting something into our mouths.

Man you guys are so dead on. I love reading these posts, very uplifting. I've got the exercising down, but for some reason I still don't wanna kick the junk food. Still giving in to the inner 2 year old sometimes I think's that going to change soon though. I want this (the healthy, fit body) too much. I've already made some serious changes, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Oh yup to me choosing has helped a lot!

Like yesterday I planned out my calories carefully and really had been wanting taco bell. So instead of getting a meal and some extra sides. I chose to have a mexican pizza and drink water and make a small salad on the side. Worked like a charm, got the mexican pizza I had been wanting AND still ate healthy overall for the day

Today so far I chose to eat a banana with a granola bar for breakfast, and a lean cuisine with a yoplus fiber yogurt for lunch. My dinner will be something healthy from the restaurant I'm going to go to with a friend (I always pick my food before I leave now), and my dessert when I get home? I'm CHOOSING a skinny cow fudge bar (only 50 calories).

Helps a lot- and now that I got a used treadmill I'm choosing to work out at least 4 days a week

Seriously, even after four years of learning how to eat in healthy ways, I still have that "I deserve" mentality sometimes. I guess that 2-years old is not completely gone. But almost every time I tell myself "I deserve this or that", at least I realize two seconds later that I don't really want it. It's like some sort of perverted game--as long as I "allow" myself to have it, I don't feel compelled to eat it, since it's not forbidden, and it loses most of its appeal.

I also try to focus on the positive aspects. For instance I try to not tell myself "I can't have that", and instead think "but I CAN have [insert healthy food that I love, such as a platter of veggies, and oh pass the bell pepper please]". I figured out that since persuading myself that vegetables tasted good and that skim milk didn't taste like water worked, the contrary can work as well... somewhat. ^^

I never really want the junk or sweets.

So I ask myself "what do you REALLY want?"

More often than not, the answer is "a hug".

You ladies are so great, I love reading these posts. I totally have the "i deserve" mentality... i had a bad day, I deserve it... I worked out extra hard, I deserve it... in reality, my body deserves nutrients, care, and healthy foods. An entire jar of peanut butter (embarrasing but true) is NOT a gift to myself.

I keep thinking about how AWFUL I feel after I eat too much... my body deserves better than that!

I'm so glad you said this, because I was planning on writing something similar and I wasn't sure how to put it.

I wonder if using the HALT method would work in this situation. When you feel the temper tantrum coming on, you could check if you are Hungry Angry Lonely Tired (HALT). Usually when a 2-year-old acts out they are one of those things.

~Choirgirl~

whaaaaaaa!! Yeah, I have those moments myself, lol.

Eat whatever you want in smaller portions!

I think what you might really mean is eat whatever you want in excess.

Good luck!

~ tea