Ever feel like a 2 year old having a tantrum while dieting?
I am starting on WW for the 4th and what I hope to be the last time (and to cross over to maintenance). Ever since my whole battle with weight, really beginning since I was 15, so almost 20 years now, I sometimes feel like I am 2 year old. Part of me knows that I can never eat everything I want in order to lose weight and keep it off. But the 2 year old part of me comes out everyday in my head, saying "I want to eat what I want and I want it now!" I get angry that I can't just eat what I want without consequences. Can anyone relate and if so how do you counteract that irrational side of you?
I remind myself that I'm a grown-up now, and furthermore, I'm the adult in charge.
Too many people learned as children to throw a tantrum to get what they want, and too many parents reacted to it by giving them food as a bribe or just to shut them up. Well, those days are long gone! So tell that "child within" that unless she stops it right now, she's getting a time out!
Besides, there is no reason to give up everything. You just have to make choices and watch portions.
Yea, sometimes I cry the blues...why me, why me... Then one day it hit me, if it wasn't excess weight, it would be something else. I'm just not happy unless I have something to complain about...
Absolutely I agree. It is hard to remember that the award of the feeling you have when you put on a pair of jeans that you have been trying so hard to fit into, and they're loose is indescribable.
Yes, I still struggle with the "WHY CANT I EAT SCONES LIKE A NORMAL PERSON??"
I remind myself - when I did eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, it did not make me happy. I was 200 lbs, lethargic, depressed, avoid cameras and seeing friends/families. That's what unlimited McDonalds fries, M&M, venti lattes and loaded nachos got me. Those foods might have felt good temporarily in my mouth, but it hurt my soul.
Now, I've eliminated certain foods, drastically cut back on some foods and introduced a huge range of foods I never really ate before. I plan meals, I use portion control, I eat "on plan" about 90% of the time. I still make room for treats - but they are (usually) planned and controlled treats. I am slender, I have a closet full of gorgeous size 6 clothes, I love pictures of myself. I happily started a Facebook account and loaded my albums with tons of current pictures of me - happy to have all my old high school/college friends see how I look (the old me would NEVER have done that).
Do I miss fries and scones? Sometimes, sure. Do I whine a bit? Sure. Do I sometimes crack and eat off plan, oh yeah. Do I get right back on plan? YES.
Part of me knows that I can never eat everything I want in order to lose weight and keep it off.
You can eat ANYTHING you want! You don't have to deny yourself anything.
As long as you understand the principle rule of losing weight and that is to burn MORE calories than you take in.
As long as you know exactly how many calories and how much fat is in what you are about to eat and as long as collectively for the day you stay under your target (for me it is 1800 calories or 40 pts on WW) you will lose.
Now granted if all you eat is cake and ice cream you won't get very much food before you reach your target number but if you have small portions of it and not frequently you can eat just about anything.
I treat myself to a night out at a Bistro every week and I make sure what I eat there falls into my eating plan. No problems!
And of course I love this equation I learned from WW's
ME = MF (more exercise = more food)
Planning my meals a ead when I can and keeping a food diary I find is ESSENTIAL for me.
I try to reframe it from a negative "can't have what I want" into a positive. For example, I am not eating the donuts someone brought into work today. But rather than focusing on something negative (saying "no" to the donut), I'm focusing on the positive (saying "yes" to me).
When I tell myself I cant have something, my inner teen says "yes I can, watch me" I don't have a 2yrold, I think its about 17, it says, 'yes I can and you can't stop me'
I just had one last night! My bf was eating this huge bowl of ice cream and I wanted some. I didn't get any tho, so I had about two handfuls of lightly salted peanuts, and he reminded me of control. I got pissy at him, but I KNEW he was right.
And he knows I want to stop drinking so much diet soda so he wouldn't let me have another one, THEN I got a small bowl of cereal, I wanted the sugary stuff he made me eat the good stuff then I wanted to use 2 percent milk he MADE me get the skim milk, and in the end I started to LIKE the skim milk and went to bed with a sweet tooth.
Oh yeah it's hard! I feel that way at times- but overall I'm like "It's not that I can't have this, it's that I'm CHOOSING to have something healthier."
It works a lot- went out with hubby to Arby's (I think it's hardees on the east coast) and got a italian chopped salad for under 450 calories with the dressing. When I ordered my salad and water hubby was like "that's it? Order what you want!" and I said "That IS what I want "
I keep thinking to myself- I'm doing this for me- healthy choices are better and one day I'll get to eat more of the other "bad stuff"- but so far there isn't much I really miss.
Now I understand how the girls at work who are so thin and fit stay away from that stuff- they just don't crave it- they eat so well their bodies don't want that junk.
In a word, YES. I feel like that all the time. Or should I say... the fat girl inside me feels like that. I try to shut her up, but sometimes her screaming gets to me.
I am a lot like you... my weight problems started around 10 years old, shortly after my father passed away and I learned to "self soothe" with food. It's tough. I'm also on my 6th try with WW... The problem is, I know exactly how to do it, but I also know exactly how to "cheat" it.
And then... inevitably, after a few weeks of following the plan to a T, I find myself saying "well, everyone else eats [scones, chocolate, ice cream, etc.] And one time I heard something that sticks... a dietician told me... "Everyone else" is usually not your body type, "everyone else" doesn't have your metabolism, and you don't see what "everyone else" eats the rest of the day. You have to work with what mother nature gave you (which pisses me off sometimes, ha ha!) I fully acknowledge that with my bone structure, I will never look like a ballerina (maybe more like a volleyball or b-ball player) but I do know that I can look better than I do now. And I have. And I will again, by September.
Truth is, that 2 year old tantrum is totally normal, at least I think it is... it's OK to give in to it in small doses so you prevent an all on tantrum. I.e. when it starts whining, give yourself an OK to give it a little, otherwise it will build up and you will give in to the tantrum, and 5 boxes of cookies in one sitting (yes, I have done that).
Then there is the logical side of me that says... not only is that food not good for weight loss, they are also just not good for me, nutritionally. I keep working on this, it's tough. I know, logically, that I am better off from an emotional and physical health perspective eating fruits, vegetables, grains, and not fats, sugars, etc. So I need to continually remind myself of that. AND remind myself that I am an adult, I make choices, and I need to shut that spoiled brat of a 2 year old up. I don't have kids, but I do know that sometimes the best way to make 'em shut up when they are whining is to just ignore them. Walk away. Often it's just for attention. So, let's remind ourselves we are beautiful, smart, intelligent women who refuse to let little bratty 2 year olds stand in the way of our goals!!!
I find myself wanting to stomp the floor and yell I WANT TACO BELL!!!!! CRUNCH WRAPS! CHALUPAS! YOUR FAVS!!!! I WANT I WANT I WANT.....but then I quietly remind myself that I'm no longer eating like that and that's how I got to be 341 lbs in the first place.
Thanks for all your inspiration and help. It just helps to know that I am not the only one battling this irrational side. But it also helps to remember that it doesn't mean I can never have ice cream again, just not a pint every day.
Ever feel like a 2 year old having a tantrum while dieting?
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