Cousin- I know it sounds ridiculous- but keep your chin up. I am 38 and have suffered depression on and off the last 20 years- I am in a pretty dark place right now - mainly due to my weight and eating. I keep myself fat so I am a wall paper person- completely by my own design and making. So I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and hope I can pull whatever it is deep in the depths of my heart and soul to take care of myself. I realize this is depressing and emo- I suppose my point is u r not alone

I really agree with what you're saying. You put everything into life and what do you get out of it? Scraping by? No one notices when you don't have heat in your house of food in the house. No one notices when you finally move up, when you accomplish. I try to think positively though... for my boy and my friends. Maybe we can help each other pull off the wallpaper. If you don't wanna talk then I hope you find what we're looking for.

Aww

I can say this - I dress up even though I feel really crappy about myself, but after seeing how gorgeous everyone else looks in comparison to me, I too wish that I was wallpaper. Sigh..

Oh, by the way, I have epilepsy too. How is Lamictal anyway? I thought of switching to it... ^^

[Redacted]

Venus, TinGirl, others - thankyou so much. It isn't nice to know others feel this way, but it is reassuring.

Hi Emily;
I also just wanted to tell you that it does get better.
That wallpaper girl that no one notices?
I think I can say with complete certainty that everybody feels like that once in a while -- Depressed or BiPolar or otherwise.
The pragmatist in me tells me that there's always going to be someone prettier, and thinner, and faster, and smarter and younger.
So I kinda have to roll with what I got and hope for the best.
The other choice is to give up and wish my life away and that ain't gonna happen.
Anyways, I hope you still try to get excited about things and connect with people and learn things. And I hope you will find it does get better.

Oh! Emily-- I'm sorry about the signature. It probably sounds super insensitive and I don't mean it to be insulting or to upset anyone.

LOL no it doesn't, I really think it is true to some extent...suffering is inevitable, misery/moping is optional right?

Its very true Leenie, that god loves us he do not think that some one is ugly. In his opinion everyone is beautiful and handsome, so we should just be happy.