Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?
He wants me to be healthy, he says that if I can be healthy at this weight than it doesnt matter. I was about 80lbs heavier when I started dating him

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
Oh he is skinny. very, see the picture thread

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?
I talk about my weight, he never brings it up, its not an issue for him, as long as im healthy, but i bring it up and he will talk about what my concerns are with me

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?
I feel awkward, I think if I was thinner it would be better. lol.
Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?
I think he wishes I would make healthier choices, and he is very supportive of me wanting to get healthy.
Do you ever feel self-conscious?
Sometimes I think I am the most self concious person in the world. But I am sure you would all agree with me.
How Long Have you been together?
3 and half years

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?
He's always been wonderful in telling me how hot I am or how I'm perfect the way I am. Good guy.

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
He is disgustingly perfect - with the world's highest metabolism. He looks like a little guy (5'6", small frame), but I swear it's pure, pure muscle. He has an insanely large appetite and can find himself with a bit of stomach pudge now and then, and proudly lets me know a week later that it's gone -- because he didn't eat a meal. So unfair!

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?
Actually, he just asked me on the phone tonight how much I weighed. I didn't answer, which surprised me - I didn't think I'd have such a hang-up. I'm surprised too, since I think he's generally scared to bring the topic up after one notorious night where I complained goodnaturedly about his tendency to cook unhealthily. (He doesn't understand that using a STICK OF BUTTER to saute a few veggies is overkill. I so wish I were kidding.) I was pointing to my love handles and jokingly telling him that I thought I'd blame it on him (this was at my high weight, where I'd gained 15 lbs really quickly for mostly medical reasons and was actually feeling incredibly self-conscious). His response? "You definitely had that when you met me." ... Long story short? After my reaction, I think he's a little terrified now to reference it ever again. He has since noticed that I've lost, though, and has been really complimentary, if indirectly.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?
At my high weight I didn't want him looking at me, kept covering up, and just generally felt terrible. It's getting better, but I still feel incredibly awkward in the shower or whatnot. Also... at certain times it really doesn't help that I weigh more than him, even though his serious strength helps compensate.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?
I think he's figured it out that the losses he's noticed have been deliberate and maybe even that I'm counting calories --- we had an argument one night that included him arguing such gems as: "Apples don't have any calories! They're healthy!" and "Calories don't matter! Just eat healthily!!!" So, yeah. Open communication is awesome, but the boy is seriously clueless. He doesn't judge me for my weight, but he really has no clue how the body works. He's incredibly smart, and so it boggles the mind...

Do you ever feel self-conscious?
Absolutely. That's really been the only big way my weight's come between us, and it's my own mental neurosis, at that.


We've only been together 9 months , but knew each other beforehand - and we're moving in together soon. I suspect the whole living together thing should break down some barriers on this issue -- provided I can find a way for his cooking not to sabotage me.

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? My DF just wants me to be happy with myself. If that means losing weight then, yes, he wants me to lose weight. Ultimately though, he couldn't care less about the physical weight, he loves me no matter what (and the way he is still quite frisky with me and always telling me I am beautiful and sexy, I have to believe him )

Is he "normal" or also overweight? He's pretty normal. He has a wee bit of a pudge belly, but he loses weight if he just changes the way he breathes! He HAD a weight problem years ago and lost all of it, plus - when I met him he was ill-looking skinny.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? We only talk about it when I bring it up. Otherwise, it's a non-issue. He is supportive though, when I want to talk about it and he tries to help me if I ask.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? Well, to be honest, I don't personally feel that great about my weight/body, plus I was taking Effexor (a/d) and that pretty much killed my libido. Since I'm almost off Effexor I "feel" more like I want to, but it's still a struggle for me mentally to want to get naked and have a roll in the hay.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? Absolutely not. When we met though, I WAS at my WW goal weight, but I went through a very deep dark depression soon afterwards (when we met we were just friends, and I was about to split up with my then husband, I lost my job, and basically all my friends and, well, it was just a really bad period) and that's when all the weight came back on.

Do you ever feel self-conscious? Unfortunately I do. I struggle all the time with this.


We've known each other for 4 years and been together for 3 years as a couple, this November.

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?
No, I don't think so. I was much smaller when we started dating and he kinda.. fattened me up..haha.

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
He's about 100 lbs heavier then I am.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?
My weight will never be a non issue! I talk about it all of the time! It helps that he is aware of how I'm feeling, though-- that way he's not bringing junk home.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?
...haha.. what's that? Since I've gained weight-- I never want to do anything ! I know it really bothers him, but it's also a motivator for him to keep me going !

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?
I think he understands.

Do you ever feel self-conscious?
I do, but not because of him-- because of me and the pressure I put on myself.

How long have we been together? 3 years in October.

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? Honestly, I don't think he really cares either way. The reason I say this is because During our 7 year realationship I have dieted, and failed so many times. I think hes just used to it. Maybe he does expect me to fail, as I always do.

Is he "normal" or also overweight? He's a little overweight. He has a belly, but thats it.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? I bring it up, and he doesn't say anything. I'll sometimes say "I'm fat I need to go on a diet, and he won't say anything. Or I'll say "My lower back has really been bothering me. It's because I'm heavy" He still won't say anything.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? Our intimate life is horrible. It's hard to move around all my body weight.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? I don't think he thinks about it at all.

Do you ever feel self-conscious? A big fat YES! But not around him. I won't walk around naked in front of him. I feel self conscious around everyone else. Especially around strangers. Right now my biggest obstacle is going outside without a jacket on, and not caring about what others are saying about me.

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? Heck no. He tells me that everyday Grrrrrrr.

Is he "normal" or also overweight? He is like a guy version of me. We are both overweight, but not so much that it restricts us from diong the things we wanna do.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? I bring it up, he avoids it.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? I don't feel as confident, thus we have sex way less often then when we first started dating about 60 pounds ago.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? He understands, and he acepts me for me.

Do you ever feel self-conscious? Of course. I don't want him to be stuck with the "fat chick'.

OH and we have been together 4 years.

Here is me and my baby

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? Yes, because of my health and that fact that it limits me on what I can do physically.

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
He is also over weight, we gained it together.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? Yes, we do discuss our weight issues. He knows that I am very unhappy with my weight and he encourages me to become healthy. He watched me exercise and eat healthy for about a month and was so impressed with my results he decided to join me.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? Yes, when you are unhappy with your body it can affect things.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? No, he's very supportive, never makes me feel bad for being over weight. When we first started dating I weighted between 160-170 pounds, so I was never a "small" person, and he prefers women with "meat" on their bones.

Do you ever feel self-conscious? Yes, when I compare myself to the women around me, at work or when I'm out shopping. I tend to feel like the "largest" female in the room most of the time. It's something I've been working on, trying to find positive things about myself and concentrate on them versus beating myself up over things that won't change over night.

We've been together for 10 years, we started dating in our teens.

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight? He only wants me to be happy and healthy. Since that to me means losing the weight, then he wants me to lose it too.

Is he "normal" or also overweight? He's normal and always has been.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up? He is always encouraging me, asking me if I want to go for a walk, saying things like "I just saw you eat a huge dinner, are you really hungry or are you just bored?" when I go to get a snack from the fridge at night. I ASKED him to butt in, so I appreciate it!

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life? I used to be really self-conscious when I was my heaviest, but not now. I am happy to be where I am!

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands? He completely understands

Do you ever feel self-conscious? Sometimes, but rarely.

We're coming up on 9 years together, and our 4 year wedding anniversary is this August

Just answering the last question. Me and my husband have been together for two years, and our wedding was on the 23rd of December 2006.

congrats, seranab!

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?
Nah...he's told me so many times that my weight/size doesn't matter to him--I know he'd be fine if I never lost another pound.

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
He's pretty normal--he could maybe stand to lose 10-20 pounds, but he's definitely not fat.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?
It's primarily a non-issue unless I bring it up in a fit of self pity or whatever, in which case he always just reminds me that it doesn't matter to him and that he loves me as I am.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?
Well, I will say I am never on top, but beyond that, it hasn't had an effect, probably because I was this same size when he met me, so he has no "skinnier" version of me to compare the current me to, if that makes sense. I don't freak out about covering up or turning the lights off because I know HE doesn't care, so why should I?

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?
Well, he doesn't "understand"--I wholeheartedly believe that anyone who has never had a weight problem cannot fully understand. But no, he doesn't judge me for it--if he did, we wouldn't be together.

Do you ever feel self-conscious?
Of course--doesn't everyone? Whether it's weight or hair or skin or whatever, everyone feels self-conscious, especially women.

We have been together for about 3 years and 2 months (we met online, so we "talked" to each other a few months before that, but it's been 3 years and 2 months since we met in person). We've been living together since October 2005, and we've been engaged since March 12 of this year.

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?

Now I think he does. He used to feel that if I lost weight I would leave him. But he knows now that I want to be healthy.

Is he "normal" or also overweight?

Overweight.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?

We always talk about weight, although now in a healthy way. He tries to bash himself, but were mostly out of that now.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?

His, not mine. I've always been heavy, and he still loves me. He has ess energy and feels less attractive because of the weight.

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?

I think he understands my multiple issues.

Do you ever feel self-conscious?

A lot. Especially after seeing pictures.

We're been together for almost 5 years, and married for 2.

So here are my responses...my husband and I have been together for a total of 8 years...and married for 2.5 of those 8.

Do you think your significant other wants you to lose weight?
Hmmm...if he did he never said anything. I know when I first started losing weight he was very supportive and said that he was glad that I did lose weight because he has seen such a change in me...more confidence and i just seem happier with myself overall. He also has said says he doesn't care if I am overweight or thinner as long as I am happy.

Is he "normal" or also overweight?
Normal...he's always been a gym rat....now i'm his sidekick at the gym.

Do either of you ever talk about your weight or is it a "non-issue" and never brought up?
In the past we would only talk about it when I would bring it up because I would make comments about how fat i was, etc... Now, we talk about it normally, he is aware of my goals and really pushes me in the gym and at home when I am tempted to make a bad choice.

How has it affected your more, ahem, intimate life?
It used to be lights off! But now I must admit things are GREAT, much better than before!!!

Do you feel he judges you for your weight, or do you think he understands?
No, he has never judged me for my weight. As a matter he likes his women with a little meat if ya know what i mean. he isnt into women who are stick thin. He understands what my weaknesses are and is my strength when I want to give in!

Do you ever feel self-conscious?
I used to be but not anymore. I have realized that my husband loves me for me and has seen me very overweight and a little less overweight (as i still have about 30 more lbs to lose). I am more confident today and less self-conscious.

Geeez Spunkster how old are you??? You don't look old enough to have been with someone 8 years! You look the same age as me.

I can't answer for her, but I've been with my husband for almost 9 years and our 4 year wedding anniversary is in August. I turn 27 in July... we started dating right before I turned 18 So I suppose if you've been together since you were teenagers you can look that young and have been together for a while!