That makes perfect sense, nelie!

It's interesting that so many of us go for tall and geeky! I'm the same way, sort of. My husband is pretty much considered hot by most everyone, but he ACTS kind of like a geek. He's kind of an anomaly, because he's athletic but intellectual, cool but geeky. He's not a "manly man," thank God, who's into cars and watching sports and drinking beer all day. He'll PLAY sports, certainly, but he doesn't just sit around on his behind watching them. He was very thin when we met, but muscular, and now he's still lean but extremely fit, which has sometimes been slightly intimidating as I've struggled with my weight. He would never EVER say anything to me about it, and he loved me and was attracted to me (somehow) even at my highest weight. I love the fact that he's gorgeous but geeky. He's a ridiculously fast runner and he looks like a model, but he also still plays Dungeons and Dragons with his friends. Oh, I've always been into dark hair too -- in fact, my husband is mixed (black, white, and American Indian), and I'm white. He doesn't have dark eyes, though -- they're green, which makes him even prettier!

If I were single (and I got married at 21, so I don't even remember what that's like), I imagine I would probably believe my options would be better as I lose more weight. But my taste probably wouldn't change. Hard to say, I guess.

Finn, repeat after me: "I am a dork and I am PROUD of my dorkiness". Does anyone know where we can get Finn a T-shirt that says "I Love Dorks!"?????

Just kidding, Finn, you're too cute to be a dork. You might be a nerd, tho, and nerds are *kewl*.

PS...what's a dork, anyway?

TTFN,

Ella

When I met DH, I was thin-obviously before I had any of my three kids, and I had to go up and down the weight ladder every time. I had dated the "cool" guys before, and they were all the same basically: full of themselves, uninteresting, etc. and I had nothing in common with them. So, it wasn't like I married a nerdy guy when I was fat, and then stayed with him because I was happy AFTER losing weight. He has seen me at all sizes-thin, fat, pregnant, etc. and he doesn't care.

I went from dating guys that "looked" pretty/hot, and found that the better THEY thought they looked-the less attractive they actually were-because of their personalities. DH is attractive-but he doesn't think he is/focus on that, and he doesn't try to dress or act a certain way to impress others. In fact, he has more fun embarassing himself in public than anything.

So no-for me losing weight doesn't equal seeing "better" men-as in hotter/cooler men. I have found through experience, that most of those types are just a big old headache. Because there are attractive men, and there are men who KNOW they are attractive-and those are the ones to avoid.

Ok here is what I was thinking of...

Geek love thongs
http://www.cafepress.com/buy/geek+lo..._____________D

And just general geek love apparel
http://www.cafepress.com/buy/geek+love

Edit - Ok last one I promise

For you girls that are with C programmers...
http://www.jinx.com/scripts/details.asp?productID=522

OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM!...must order now!

I agree.

I was thin when I met my husband. He's always been overweight since we've been together. But, I'd dealt with the handsome, perfectly fit guys - most of those were nothing but headaches! DH on the other hand, had a job, owned a house and had hobbies besides hanging at the bar. It wasn't like I was gaga over him from the get go. He was cute, but certainly not hot. But, as we hung out, I fell in love with him for his mind, his personality, etc. And, oh when you have that, you can morf cute into hot. There's something sexy about a smart man.

Definitely. If a man's not smart, I really can't imagine being attracted to him at all no matter what he looks like. That's just a deal-breaker.

i would say i have the same taste in men no matter what my size. I've been thinner in my younger dating years and i've been heavier in my dating days. My taste never vary much. I don't find myself attracted to overweight men, but i wouldn't say they have to be bean poles either. I generally as a rule am attracted to blonde hair and blue eyes. but my current boyfriend is actually half asian/half american. so he has dark hair and dark eyes. I like personality. A nice smile and laugh can attract me too. That's what i noticed first about my current boyfriend. He had a beautiful smile. then i started talking to him and i liked his personality. then he became very attractive to me. He treats me great and I REALLY like that.

I've only ever been attracted to guys who were both taller and heavier than me...when I was really skinny, I was often attracted to pretty skinny guys (just as long as they were taller than me) but as I gained weight I lost interest. I guess I need to feel small (or at least smaller) to feel feminine, and being tall has always made me feel so huge. Fortunately my fiance is 6'3" with a large frame, so he'd have to get pretty scrawny before I'd run the risk of outweighing him.

My standards haven't changed at all, no matter what weight I am. And I've been a lot heavier than my "starting weight" here (by about 30-40 pounds, which I think is pretty substantial). The only thing that's different now is that I feel I have a wider group of men who are interested. And I'm still fat, so I imagine that group will continue to widen as I lose more weight. It's shallow and it's terrible, but folks who aren't overweight (especially the tall, skinny, slightly nerdy art students I keep finding myself with) tend to dismiss overweight people.

Then again, some of my friends would argue that it's not your weight that impacts how people perceive you, but instead it has to do with your confidence. So if you've lost a little weight and you get a confidence boost, you'll be more attractive naturally just because of how you present yourself. Personally I think it's a bit of both.

I don't think my standards have changed, but then my weight hasn't changed that much either. I mean, my heighest weight was something like 76 kgs, but in high school I was about 72-73, and guys would still hit on me now and then, so I never really felt like I had to 'aim low' because nobody would want me otherwise. Of course, I'm a horrible dater in that I'm extremely picky and very, very seldom feels attracted to someone, lest really fall in love.

I think however that I'm also more attracted to somewhat 'geeky/nerdy' types. Because I know it's not all looks, and that we do have common grounds on which to live and talk (computers, movies, anime, literature, etc).

Good looking "hot" men are not necessarily dumb, conceited or self-centered.

they have never changed on my behalf, i look for what i look for and thats it. being big or small doesnt change my views on dating.

This is an interesting subject. I have dated overweight guys before and for me it's always been about the person as a whole, someone who I find attractive along with being intelligent and fun to be with. Only recently, since I've lost a lot of weight and am looking forward to getting the rest off and keeping it off, have I really been concerned about dating someone who is overweight and it's only because of the health concerns. I don't want to fall in love with and marry someone who is going to be incapacitated or die early due to health problems caused by obesity. I also feel that if I have made the effort to lose weight, start exercising and care about my well being, the other person can do it too.

Denise

I don't think what I am attracted to has changed much at all after losing the weight.

I have always been into dark hair, darks eyes and olive skin (funnily enough much like myself :P except mine are green-hazel). I have always loved tall men and i'll admit I do like them somewhat athletic but air-heads need not apply!

When I lost the weight what I DID notice was the sudden increase in the number of guys who'd hit on me and i'll admit I went on a little rampage...more because I became all cynical over the whole "you're all so superficial you'd never have looked twice 40 pounds ago!"

After dating a few not nice but good-looking guys I finally met my lovely current fellow Everything I go for...except he has blue eyes...but he's got dark hair and olive skin! And he's all into sports and the gym like me but so smart...not into himself and probably the kindest, gentle person I know and to top it all off he's 6'6...Mmmm...tall....oh yes...and gorgeous

You'd think i'd be over the gushing stage....*rolls eyes*