I'm sorry that you're having a hard time these days!
I just wanted to add that I have very bad anxiety and I used to take medication for it. I went off the medication and it came back, but exercising regularly controls it. Exercising more controls it better. I can hardly describe the amount of benefit exercise has brought me. I used to feel paralyzed, like I was moving through mud all the time and it was hard to do anything because I was so nervous. Those feelings and my obsessive anxious thoughts have melted away since I've started exercising regularly.
I know that it's not easy to start an exercise regimen, but give it a try. Give it two weeks. These days I always, always have a better day when I exercise in the morning compared to when I don't.
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