I kind of understand where you're coming from, but my husband is discouraging in a different way: He doesn't really care whether I lose weight or not. In fact, he thinks the whole process is sort of silly. He has never had a weight problem, so when he sees joggers or people who join gyms, he scoffs ("So, let me get this straight: I'm going to pay someone so that I can work?"). If I'm ever tempted to eat something beyond my calories, he actually encourages me to do it rather than the opposite ("Oh, give me a break: You can't have one ice-cream?").
However, with all that said, he has gotten much better over the years because he has realized that no matter what he says or thinks about me losing weight, I'm going to do what I want to do. Once that sunk in, his comments have not been nearly as frequent. I think that direct confrontation is the best bet. People often think that they can get away with hurtful/discouraging comments because others won't call them on it.
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He explained what he had meant with some comments (yes I couldn' resist the cupcake, but he admitted if it had been a steak he wouldn't have bee able to resist either) and some things were cleared up. So we'll see where this goes. He said he does really want me to lose weight, even though he doesn't consider me "fat", and he is willing to help. He cooked dinner and deliberately made the fish without the batter (even though he loves it with batter) just so I could eat it. And he hid all my chocolate, so I guess that's his way of showing support! But he probably still is skeptical of both diets and my ability to stick with them, so I guess my challenge is to prove him wrong! 
