I am a substance abuse counselor, so I am admittedly biased! So I say this just for something to think about, not as any judgment, I promise. I tell many of my clients "If you had the ability to drink in moderation, you would have already done it..."
I wish you luck, and maybe it will work for you, but for most people who struggle to drink in moderation it is a losing battle. You may want to read up on Audrey Kishline, the founder of Moderation Management.
Thanks for your input Cherrypie--and for the reminder about Audrey Kishline: hers is a terrible story.
But re your maxim, I just don't know whether that is true, and if it is true, why isn't it also true of food, which I have also failed to consume in moderation? At this juncture I'm disinclined to believe that I can't gain (and work to maintain) control over both food and alcohol, but I am open and honest with myself (and my therapist!) which I think is important.
Nelie, I agree with your framing--start with 3 drinks per day and gradually cut back. I'm going to give it a try, but it is difficult! Just as with food, I need to find a new normal.
I've had to stop myself from drinking wine because it's so full of calories and I normally want more than one glass. Although I still occasionally have a glass of red with dinner, I try to stick to gin & slimline tonic or vodka and soda water with fresh lime. Very yummy and refreshing. Not everyone's cup of tea though...
Oh, I can so relate to your post, my personal choice is red wine, and when I looked to see how many calories are in 5 or 6 glasses I was shocked. When I am trying to lose weight, I save it up for Saturday, drink what I want and eat what I want for dinner only, then it is back on the eating right and no alcohol wagon for me. This works well for me, I have something to look forward to and I don't feel deprived. Saturday morning is my weigh in day, so I have six days of clean eating before I get on the scale. I also count my calories and will actually eat around 1200 calories those six days, kind of like banking calories. Like I said this works for me, some can't do the cheat meal cause it totally throws them off.
I had to move white wine to my list of only occassional foods. Any other alcoholic beverage I can take or leave but one glass of white wine always leads to another for me and snacks of course. Very fattening. I am a lot happier without it but I still miss it.
I have always been a social drinker (at times heavily) and rarely drink much outside of those events. I do really like good red wine, though and will have a glass or two to relax in the evening probably 2 nights a week in the winter and 2 nights a month in the summer. I like wine with food, though. Cheese and bread and steak with red wine - mega yum! (I think these will have to be treats that I work in occasionally because I don't want to go the rest of my life without that taste. If that means completely giving up other treats, then so be it.)
I am also a social binge eater. Put me together with my best friends at a party, flowing booze and a buffet and you've unleashed an avalanche. The factor of being happy with my friends (who are eating also) and being tipsy with alcohol will equal me eating an obscene amount of food that can only be described as a binge. I have no governor once these two factors come into play.
But that's all in my past life.
Now, I will still have the occasional glass of wine but don't drink (or eat) much socially. I know what will happen if I do, so I go and spend time with my friends, but keep it very tightly reined in.
I have also learned a few things. 1. When you don't eat much, your tolerance that day goes WAY down. I had 2 draft beers on Saturday night on a mostly empty stomach and was pretty tipsy. That is MUCH less than what I used to drink. 2. When you weigh less, your tolerance goes down. Even on days when I tried to eat to compensate for planned drinking, I still can't hang like I used to. 3. When you have a lower tolerance, it's a lot cheaper to go out with your friends. My tab that Saturday was $5. WOW! 4. Beer makes me bloated and retain water for days. When I wasn't paying attention to my weight, I missed this.
So, I still eat light the day I plan to drink and keep the alcohol to a minimum. One or two is all I can handle and keep control.
But re your maxim, I just don't know whether that is true, and if it is true, why isn't it also true of food, which I have also failed to consume in moderation? At this juncture I'm disinclined to believe that I can't gain (and work to maintain) control over both food and alcohol, but I am open and honest with myself (and my therapist!) which I think is important.
Being open and honest with yourself, and of course a therapist if you're lucky enough to have a good one, is so important - so kudos for that.
The largest difference between food and alcohol is how your body processes and reacts to good foods as opposed to how it sees alcohol. When you consume alcohol, every single organ in your body, including your skin, sees it as a poison and has a negative reaction it. And, for those who are prone to addiction - and I'm not saying that this is you, I don't know you - the brain actually converts alcohol to a substance that tricks your body into believing that it is necessary to live. Rats that have a drop of this substance placed directly on the brain will drink alcohol until they die. So while there are certain foods that certainly have addictive properties for many of us - especially foods with refined sugar - if we eat the right type of food many of us have no problem in eating in moderation. I mean who will eat brown rice and green beans until they are stuffed and get sick?
Then of course there is the calorie issue - imagine someone coming on here and saying - "I really enjoy eating a large glazed donut with friends 3-4 times a week. Can you teach me how eat this donut and stick to one at each occasion and still lose weight?" Of course it is possible to do that, but most would agree that it is wasted calories and not good for you.
Again, I hope I'm not coming off as preachy or judgmental, because I really, really don't want to come across like that and sometimes it's hard when you are reading words and unable to hear a person. If drinking in moderation works on your plan, that's great. Could you possibly try stopping alcohol completely for say, 30 days and see how you feel?
