[Sunshine87]

Maybe you should just joke with him by saying something like "Well Dad, I am just trying to keep up with you."
I bet you he won't say anything else for a while.

[Looking4Me2011]

Hey, I'm just curious. How old are you? I was just wondering if perhaps he "thinks" he is doing the right thing for his "little girl" or what. Not that your age matters, no. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this.

I've personally never had my parents stick their nose in my business about anything so I've never understood that. I've had friends who have parents who get on them about their weight, their marriages, how they raise their children etc. I don't get it, I wish I did.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to remember you are doing the best FOR you, not him and he can say whatever he wants..just do your best, BREATHE, say 'thank you, but i know what i'm doin and it's working for me' and walk away.

Just always remember you're doing this FOR YOU!!! His words, attitude, and big ole bowl of mac n cheese can't change that unless you let it. :0 You've been doing a good job...keep up with it, you've obviously done an excellent job so far! You must know what you're doing!

[ValRock]

I'm 28... a grown up :P. I wish I could think he means well, but I don't think so. He's really passive aggressive and cruel sometimes. I just need help not internalizing his comments.

He's made comments this morning that make me think he still sees me as "fat" and it's hurtful. I guess I thought I looked ok... maybe not. *sigh*. Thanks for all your insight... it's helping a lot.

[Thin Desire]

I just want you to know that my dad is the same way and I'm older, forced to live with him atm. Both he and my stepmother are terribly bigoted against overweight people (I wasn't raised with him). It's very frustrating to say the least. I'm sure at least my stepmother will consider me hugely obese even if I can get to something like 139 lbs. I'm a guy by the way.

[rubyred7]

Valrock,
Just tell him how you feel, I've learned that as long as you do your part and let people know that their actions bother you, then if they choose to continue to respond negatively, it's on them. You're a mama, with 2 kids of your own, you don't need you dad telling you what to do. If at all possible I would suggest getting out of there as soon as you can.

[astrophe]

You look fine. Try to better manage your reaction. Don't be defensive, don't be anything but a mirror. Reflect.

Him: "Oh hey how was your workout? Did you do the elliptical?"
Me: "No, I ran on the treadmill."
Him: "OHHH Don't do that!!! Yow know you'd lose so much more weight if you just walked."
Me: "I'm not so sure about that... and I'm trying to tone up, not lose more right now."
Him: "Whatever... Whatever makes you happy"

You let him suck you in and you started explaining. Be a duck. Be the weather channel. You hear him talking. That's about it.

I would have played it like this:

Go with the positive if there is any --

Him: "Oh hey how was your workout? Did you do the elliptical?"
Me: "Great, thanks for asking!"

Go with answering without too much detail --

Him: "Oh hey how was your workout? Did you do the elliptical?"
Me: "Nope, but thanks for asking!"

Or just let him ramble on, acknowledge you have ears, and move on --

Him: "Oh hey how was your workout? Did you do the elliptical?"
Me: "No, I ran on the treadmill."
Him: "OHHH Don't do that!!! Yow know you'd lose so much more weight if you just walked."
Me: Ok, hear ya. Thanks.

There. Shut the conversation down. Then do whatever you please with your next workout. He can babble all he wants but he isn't YOU and you are the one doing this.
Try not to let him get to you.

GL!
A.

[butterflymama]

What would happen if you told how you felt in adult emotionally open way?

This is what I would say to my parent.

Actually dad, do you know what would make me happy? If you stopped making comments about my food or exercise. I know you love me and I believe that what your saying is your way of helping me however I find it very hurtful when you make comments about my food, exercise, weight, body, etc

I would give him an opportunity to say something and if it was an apology and a commitment to work on keeping his comments to himself then I would thank him for listening to me and for his support, give him a hug and ask him about his day. If he got all defensive and started jabbering on in in a cruel, rude, hurtful way I would just tell him again I hope he will work on keeping his comments to himself and I am finished discussing it.

Good luck. I have had to have a similar conversation with my grandma years a go and it has worked for a long time. However I think we may have to have another talk now that she is 80