The best advice I can give you is not say anything to her I clam up with my mom when I'm around her and just give her a blank look. Drives her freaking crazy....I secretly love it! If it wasn't your weight she'd really find something else to b*tch about!
Last edited by TJFitnessDiva; 08-26-2010 at 10:18 PM.
Good to hear that you and your meme are talking again! I work with a lot of students who struggle communicating with family with various issues and one of the biggest, most effective ways we teach our students to talk to their family is with "I" statements. It seems silly when you practice it by yourself, but it is super effective and really helps others hear how you're feeling. "I feel frustrated when you..." Etc, etc. I hope things consider to improve!
I don't have any advice to give, but I do have some hugs I can offer you. That would bother me too, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. A good friend of mine lost a bunch of weight with Nutrisystem a few years ago, and she acted the same way around me. I finally had to stop hanging around her before I ended up hurting her. LOL
This sort of topic is something that has been so eye opening to me on my journey. My Mother who put me on all sorts of diets my whole life still isn't jumping up and down happy that I have lost over 100 pounds. My Mother makes comments that just because I have lost some weight doesn't mean I can dress like a teenager. She also tells me how I am now obsessed with exercise and weight. (What!! Are you KIDDING me??) All my 33 years I thought this lifestyle is what she always wanted from me and here I am living it and it's still not to her liking.
But the difference is my lifestyle change was for ME and ME alone. Through the years I partly stayed fat to prove to her I was great just like I was, I thought losing weight meant I agreed with her. My journey is NOT about her or her crazy ideas. Coming to peace with that really set me free.
You stay focused on YOUR goals and you will succeed. It's your life to live Honey,so Rock IT !!!
I hear you! Its reasons like you are experiencing that I *dont* talk to my grandmother! My life is difficult enough without being reminded of how life would be great - if only you could squeeze your weight down. Sigh. My sister moved in with her for 6 months and she put my sister on a spinach and water diet - no kidding! Sometimes you need to politely and firmly (and for some people, not so politely) tell them where to keep their opinions!
Wow my grandmother and your grandmother must be twins! I was just talking to my therapist about this yesterday! The only difference is that I never realized that my grandmother was wrong for the things she said. I just figured that they were the truth and there was nothing wrong with telling the truth. I wish I could give you a magic answer but I can't even find one for myself! My therapist keeps telling me to use the "I" statements and let her know how much she hurts me but I have already tried that and it doesn't make a difference. Plus its really hard because she is my grandmother and I love her and I know she has a very hard life and I have alot of empathy for her.
Just a piece of advice...don't let her voice stick in your head. I have realized that everytime that negative voice is in my head its usually my grandmothers'! Also like a previous psoter said...a lot of times with that type of person even if you lose the weight....they will just find something else to gripe about. Its tough when they are older though...I mean you can't really expect an 80 year old to change right?!?
I clam up with my mom when I'm around her and just give her a blank look. Drives her freaking crazy....I secretly love it! If it wasn't your weight she'd really find something else to b*tch about!
That would bother me too, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. A good friend of mine lost a bunch of weight with Nutrisystem a few years ago, and she acted the same way around me. I finally had to stop hanging around her before I ended up hurting her. LOL
