Oh honey I've been there, actually a while ago I could have written your post.
It's definitely depression but I can assure you it will pass. Your self esteem will snowball as you take control of your life and lose the weight. It actually happens pretty quickly and exercise (endorphins) makes it an even quicker process if you are so inclined right now.
The last thing I wanted to do when I was in that place was exercise but it was what I needed in a very severe way and when I finally started - only walking 20-30 min a day, everything changed for the better.
MAKE yourself get out of the house.. just do it. Just decide now that you will and get a walking outfit together now and get out first thing in the AM before you do anything else.
If you have to, set the alarm 30 minutes earlier.
I guarantee that in 3-4 days you will feel yourself coming out of your funk. I guarantee it.
Last edited by Runundefined; 10-06-2009 at 06:15 PM.
I realized a few days ago, when I needed to do some yardwork...I don't OWN any sweatpants that fit. None. When I was super morbidly obese, all I EVER wore, summer or winter, were sweatpants. Now I don't own any. I used to pull my hair back in a ponytail, t-shirt (hot weather) or sweatshirt (cold weather), ratty sweatpants, tennis shoes. Every day, day in, day out. Now I look pulled together all the time...I had forgotten what it was like to be a clothes horse but now that I can fit back into virtually all my old stuff, I am a 100% clothes horse. It's good.
I realized the same thing a few days ago. The weather has turned unseasonably cold and rainy. I have nothing to wear, no sweats, sweaters, jacket, even pants for work, mostly this summer I lived in skirts and capris.
I work with my Mom, and Monday moring she asked please never to wear those baggy pants to work again!
My advice PinkFlamingo is to fake it! Buy some nail polish, or body butter (I go to Dollar Tree once a week for one of these treats), and if you have no confidence, just act like you do. We are so cruel to ourselves, you can do this!
I used to use my kids as an excuse not to spend money on myself. That was a bunch of bs.
Last edited by scarletmeshell; 10-08-2009 at 10:28 AM.
I think it's absolutely a weight thing. You get to a certain point and think you look SO BAD (so fat) that nothing you do will make you look nice anyway. I remember having to go to an event at 280 pounds, putting on a "nice" dress, jewely, makeup, doing my hair and looking in the mirror being appalled at how I looked. It's hard to put forth the effort for THAT.
It's about confidence, self image, etc and for me, when I am eating healthy and caring for myself I look in the mirror and I look beautiful even without makeup. I was never one to go around in sweats, though... but the stretch pants took hold for awhile. I wear (nice) jeans and (nice) t shirts a lot with minimal makeup but I think I look great now!
:-( I think my sister could relate to you, or maybe, you are her having found this forum.
I can second all which was already said about confidence. I don`t know how you feel, but my sister says that, although she does not bother any more, at the same time, she craves being the glamorous woman she once was.
Being large does not however mean that you cannot be glamorous. You may need to adapt your wardrobe, but you do not need to forego your beauty treats and grooming. In fact, I feel that people are more forgiving about a higher weight when the person looks that she takes care of herself, e.g. is not just "lazy". And I`m sure you`ll feel better about yourself, too.
Personally, I was never into that very high maintenance look, but if I`m a bit larger, I at least want to look my best.
[/QUOTE
