Based on my curiosity, I asked my boys (8 & 10) and they said that kids do not pick on other kids for their body sizes (skinny or heavy). They seemed pretty resolute about it, and we had a long talk about why I was asking -- because that was what it was like when I was a kid, etc. It seemed pretty foreign to them... So I was glad to hear that. Tomorrow I'm having lunch with a woman who has 8 & 10 year old girls, and will ask her about their experience with dieting...
Based on my curiosity, I asked my boys (8 & 10) and they said that kids do not pick on other kids for their body sizes (skinny or heavy). They seemed pretty resolute about it, and we had a long talk about why I was asking -- because that was what it was like when I was a kid, etc. It seemed pretty foreign to them... So I was glad to hear that. Tomorrow I'm having lunch with a woman who has 8 & 10 year old girls, and will ask her about their experience with dieting...
Wow. I wanna go back in time and go to school where your kids go.
Do you think it's the same way today? Because honestly, that would never have occurred to me, a child getting teased for choosing princess while overweight. Granted, I have boys, not girls. But it seems when I go into the elementary school that, not only are there a lot more overweight children than when I was a kid, but also just a lot more overweight adults in everyone's lives. There's a darling overweight girl in my son's 2nd grade class. The thought of her getting teased had never entered my mind... I hope it isn't happening!
Also, back to the original post, I was really surprised by the statistic that girls start dieting at 8 and that 4th graders are doing fad diets?? One of my sons is 8, the other is in 4th grade. Is this really what is happening with their girl peers??
I couldn't tell you how true this is today. I'm sure it's going on, but how much and how well teachers and parents are dealing with it today, I don't know. When I was still working in social service, I kept up on the statistics on this subject, and it was still very prevalent in the late 90's when I left the social service field. Overweight children were still most likely to be targeted by bulles, and overall, the bullying statistics were still rising at that point (and high-tech bullying, was just starting to be seen. With even grade school children often having cell phones and spending time online now, that opens a whole new arena for bullying - an arena that is often more easily hidden from adults).
Even when I was a child, kids mostly bullied discretely, and if you "tattled," the bully just denied it. The worst bullies were the teachers' pets, because they were sweet as sugar to everyone, but only when the teachers were watcing. I've seen the victims punished for lying and making false accusations, and even with multiple kids as witnesses (if all the witnesses were of a lower popularity status than the accused) , the teachers would refuse to believe that the sweet, smart, pretty, polite child of weatlhy parents could possibly have done what less popular children were accusing the child off (we all were "obviously jealous," - that's literally what one teacher would tell us).
I do think that teachers are a little more aware of these prejudices, and do a little more to fight it - but it's hard to say how much still goes on. Children have always learned early that it's usually better NOT to go to adults, because children and adult don't like "tattle tales," the problem is that the difference between tattling and asking for legitimate help is fuzzy in the minds of the smaller children - and by the time they're older, they start to feel that asking for help from adults will only make the situation worse (because it usually does get worse, before it gets better).
I was bullied as a child - for having GINORMOUS front teeth. Kaplods depiction of bullies was pretty much matches my experience I was a social pariah even after I got braces - until I moved away! Kids can really be mean.
You know what's really interesting - I have talked to so many people who were also bullied, but no one ever confesses to be the bully! What happened to all the bullies? I tried to Facebook my principle 6th grade tormenter, but I can't find her. I have no idea what I would have said to her, really.
It definitely had a lasting effect on me, but I think it was positive. I'm usually pretty empathetic (good at putting myself in someone else's shoes). I tend to root for the underdog. I try never to hurt anyone's feelings.
I was bullied through most of my childhood and I was a bully for a short time. In high school I became best friends with the meanest, toughest girl in school. After that, I wasn't bullied anymore but I was able to be the bully for once. I will admit at the time, it felt great, I didn't pick on the usual kids, I picked on the ones that thought they were oh so perfect ect. I found my niche of people with the pot smokers, the long haired guys, we all wore rock t-shirts, drove old cars listened to a lot of Metallica, ect...lol I was really bad to 1 girl in particular and i got the opotunity to apologize to her and I am so glad I did.
Here is something interesting. I remember a girl in my school that everyone was horrible to, She was over weight, smelled bad, clothes always unclean ect. Her name was Angela but everyone called her Alf. Well today someone from high school that I have added to my Facebook, did some what 80's person are you quiz and the answer was Alf, this girl was like "OMG do yall remember Alf from school, heehee, wonder what she is up to"
I couldn't believe it, I mean come on, we are 34 yrs old, we are WAY to old for that kind of crap. I mean how horrible must her home life have been to come to school that way? We had some over weight girls that were popular, even Cheerleaders to so weight never seemed the reason 1 reason someone was picked on
I think it would be pretty hard for most people to own up to having been the bully. Which is mostly OK with me - I would hate to have to take an apology from the girl who ruined my entire school experience past 6th grade. She changed my whole life by just completely destroying my self-esteem. It's not that I hold a grudge. I do wish her well. But I just would not be ready to have to personally interact with her.
